Love Always, Lara Jean
by BShine09
Summary: Series of love letters Lara Jean has written to Peter Kavinsky throughout the years. Is junior year of college too early to get serious with your high school sweetheart? Follow the love story of our two lovebirds after finishing their sophomore year of college. I do not own these characters or To All The Boys I've Loved before. Thank you Jenny Han for your books!
1. Chapter 1

My hat box: my most prized possession. It was given to me from mommy so I can put the things that are most valuable to me. Before there were 5 letter inside addressed to each boy I have ever loved. Thinking back to the day the letters were sent out still embarrasses me, but if it wasn't for that, I don't think I would ever experience all the love I have experienced right now. Now what occupies my hatbox are pictures, letters, and little souvenirs that have been given to me by Peter Kavinsky. I still write letters. I don't think that part of me will ever change, but this time it's all to Peter. One for every milestone in our relationship. I've written one after prom, after we broke up and got back together, and our first year apart in college. Here I am again writing on light blue stationary with outline hearts on each corner given to me by my grandma when she went to Korea. I grabbed my favorite pen from my desk drawer and began to write.

Dear Peter,

It feels silly writing this letter to you when I'm going to be going out with you later today to celebrate our anniversary. If someone were to have told me freshman year of high school that I would be dating pretty-boy Peter (sorry I just had to put that there) I would probably think that they are crazy. But here we are three years later and our relationship is still going strong. I still think back to when you got my letter. I was mean to you because I didn't want to give you the benefit of the doubt that another girl liked you.

I'm writing this letter to tell you how wonderful you are and how happy you make me. You are so kind to me, my family, and especially Kitty. She adores you. What made me fall for you at first is your relationship with her. You've gone above and beyond for her, even when we were broken up. She looks up to you like an older brother that she never had. But enough about Kitty.

Thank you for always being there to support me even when things got hard. You are not what people expect of you being this popular jock back then. Every time I pushed you away, you fought harder for us and I will always love you for that. I don't know how I would have made through my first year of college without you. You never fail to brighten my day and I hope that never goes away. Sometimes I get so afraid that I may love you more than you love me, but you surprise me every time.

Hopefully year three will be our best one yet. I look forward to growing with you and seeing where we go next.

Love always,

Lara Jean

I proof-read it for any errors or mistakes in case I have to write another letter again. I'm really picky on having to cross anything out to make any spelling mistakes. My phone vibrates on my desk and check to see who it is. Peter's calling.

"Hello" I said, trying to hide the excitement of my voice

"Covey! I'm on my way to pick you up right now" I can hear that Peter has me on speakerphone when driving

" What did I tell you about talking on the phone and driving?" He knows that's one of my pet-peeves

" Aw come on, you know I have bluetooth on in my car. No way am I harming anyone on the road" Hearing Peter whine always puts a smile on my face. He's right though, at least he isn't texting.

" No excuses Peter" I said trying to hide my amusement

"Fine! I'm about an hour away so be sure to be ready by the time I get there" I nod my head as if he could see " Okay well I'm going to get off now so you can get here safely. " putting emphasis on that last word.

I hang up the phone before Peter can argue his case. I enclose the letter with the matching envelope that came with the stationary and addressed it. Peter has been going on about how he was so excited to give me my anniversary present. Luckily his surprises are very Lara-Jean friendly. I go over to my bed and take the hat box out. Back at home I have the hatbox in my closet, but at UNC I elected on keeping it under my bed. Although I have my own room in the apartment that I share with Katrina, but when Peter comes over I don't want him being nosey and looking inside of my hatbox. I grabbed all the letters throughout the second year of our relationship and arranged it neatly in the scrapbook I made for him. This was my present for him. I couldn't think of a better way to express myself besides giving this to him. I neatly wrap the book in a box and set it on my bed while I finish packing the rest of my stuff.

As much as I miss home, I really love it here at UNC. This was the first time I've had my own identity. I wasn't Margot's younger sister or Peter's girlfriend. The best part of going to school in a different state is no one knowing about my accidental sex tape. I was so glad when the students at the school stopped spreading that video around. Still, I get nervous that the video will resurface somewhere and haunt me in my future. I became instant friends with my roommate Katrina. I was so nervous that we wouldn't get along, but we have been joint when we found out that we both have a love for baking. . I call her my Chinese sister, not because she's Chinese, but because she was adopted by her Chinese stepfather. She was my go to person if I was craving authentic Asian food.

Freshmen year of UNC was one of the best and most challenging year of my life. Classes here are so tough. There were many times where I just wanted to transfer and go home. Home is where I'm meant to be. If it wasn't for Margot and Peter encouraging me, then I probably would have. I ended up surviving without my grades suffering. I joined KASA, Korean-American Student Association and was immediately welcomed. Daddy was so happy when I told him. He always wanted us to be more involved with our Korean culture. Hanging out with them helped the time go by faster.

Sophomore year was a lot easier, especially since I got to take Margot's old car with me this time. Freshmen weren't allowed to have cars on campus so it was always such a bother. I either had to ask Daddy for a ride home or wait until Peter was able to visit. Sometimes Alan, Katrina's brother offered to drive us places. I tried not to both him too much about it though, unless it was for groceries. That was also the year I found out what I really wanted to do. I want to be a baker and own my own bakery. I have always loved baking and being in the kitchen. Baking was the one thing I could do for hours and not feel like I was stressed. I was able to find a part-time job at a nearby bakery called Guglhupf Bake Shop. I worked the front counter, but when it was slow my manager, Quinn let me shadow the other bakers.

Peter and I saw each other twice a month during the off seasons. The relationship got harder after Peter started his lacrosse season. It wasn't like high school when I can go to all of his games, home or away. I went to as many as I could. First years aren't allowed to have cars on campus so I had to take the train or the bus to UVA. Peter offered to drive, but that would be eight hours in the car there and back. Peter decided the summer of Freshmen year that he wanted to be a Physical Therapist. He tore his ACL in the last game of the season last year. He said that his experience with physical therapy fascinated him to want to pursue the career.

I checked my phone to see what time it was. I have twenty minutes until Peter arrives so I decided to do a quick sweep around the dorm room in case I forgot anything. Katrina already left for the day. The room looks spotless due to all of my stuff already being in my suitcase and crates. Lost in thought, I jumped when I heard knocking on the door. Peter had arrived. He immediately wraps me in a bear hug and picks me up

" Happy three years anniversary Covey!" He leans forward to kiss me on the lips. Oh how I have missed him and his kisses.

" Happy three years Peter," I say staring into his eyes, getting lost in the sea of hazel. We almost forget where we were for a second until I get a notification on my phone. Peter puts me down so I can check it. Kitty texted asking me to come home quickly. Knowing Kitty, she is just in a hurry to see Peter over me. That's okay though, I love the relationship she has with him. Peter walks over to the bed and picks up the wrapped present. I rush over and grabbed the box away from him " You can't open this yet. Not until our date" I said hiding it behind my back. He was about to make his case but I shook my head and shooed him away.

We finally get all my stuff packed into his mom's van and I made sure to drop off my keys. I made it through my first year at UNC I think to myself. As we are leaving campus, Peter grabs my hand and laces his fingers with mine. I can't help but stare at him when he drives. He looks so relaxed. Even after three years with him, I still can't get enough of him. We have the whole summer ahead of us and I can't wait what we have in store. But first we have to make it through our anniversary date.

 _A/N: Hey everyone! It's been a while since I've written a fic. I've been so busy with school and work this idea just came to me not long ago and I wanted to see where the story will take me. I absolutely love the books and the characters. Jenny Han really did a good job by making people fall in love with these characters_


	2. Chapter 2

_a/n: Everyone that has read this before 12/18 Hey everyone. He is the re-edited version of Chapter 2! I decided to post the original contest that I had for this chapter. I really wanted for dialogue and interaction with Peter and LJ. I also change the anniversary and added more content and background on why Peter chose the anniversary at the school!_

" You're home!" Kitty and Jamie-Fox Pickle were already on the front porch waiting for us. She quickly ran towards the driver's side and hugged Peter. She's seen him more that she sees me throughout the year and he still gets the first hug. Jamie comes loyally by me to greet me with dog kisses though.

Kitty makes her way towards me and hugs me as well. Kitty has grown so much this year. It makes me sad that we are the same height now. She just turned thirteen this year. Part of me is in denial that she is no longer this nine-year old baby sister always wanting to tag along with me and Peter wherever we go. Kitty's got wit and confidence that none of the other Song girls have. Yes Margot is very confident, but she doesn't have Kitty's bluntness. Sometimes it's a good or a bad thing. She will be starting eight grade soon. I'm a little sad that the year she started changing was my first year of college.

" Hey Kitten" I squeezed her tighter afraid that she will start growing again if I let her go. " I missed you" I hear her say under her breath. Kitty isn't much for showing affection to me, but sometimes she's willing to admit that she misses me as much as I miss her.

Kitty is telling me all about her friends and everything that has happened in a month while Peter and I move my stuff back in my room. Kitty is holding nothing, as expected. She's just along for the company.

" I'm so conflicted on who's party I want to go to tomorrow. Alicia and Hayden are both having slumber parties on the same night" Kitty at least opened my bedroom door for Peter so he wouldn't have a hard time setting my stuff down.

" Why don't you go to both and see which one you like the most?" I've never been in this situation before. The only real friend I had through most of high school was Chris, and even she never had me over. It was mostly her crashing my place in the middle of the night.

Kitty gave me a look like I just gave her the dumbest idea " Lara Jean, That would only make things worse. Never mind I'll ask Tree" Kitty strolled past us while pulling out her phone to text Trina. Oh no, Kitty will that teenage girl. Good luck Daddy,

'Smooth" Peter laughed and I had to elbow him in the stomach for that. " Sorry I wasn't miss popular in high school" I rolled my eyes as I opened the door to my room so we could put my stuff down

I was never really popular until I started dating Peter. Even then, I mostly just talked to Pammy, Lucas and Chris. I miss them a lot. Chris is still in the Dominican Republic working on a farm. I hear from her from time to time. Usually right after a hook up. I worry about her and guys, but I'm happy she's safe. I make a mental note to message Pammy and Lucas to see if they are free to hang out any time this summer.

" Anything else Covey?" Peter asked. We still had a lot of time to kill before our anniversary date. Peter was going to go to his mom's store and help her out for a little bit. His mom has warmed up to me a little bit. It helps that we haven't broken up ever since Daddy's and Trina's wedding. Peter confronted his mom after a lacrosse game for being so cold to me. That was the first time he's really stuck up against his mom. I thought that she would've hated me more after that incident. She was really worried that I would be a distraction to Peter from studying and practice.

" I'm okay for now thank you," I walked Peter to the door and tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek " I'll see you tonight"

" I'll be by around seven" Peter kisses me on the forehead and gets in his car. I wait for him to drive off before going back inside to unpack all of my things. There was so much that I wanted to do before the date. But first a nap

Daddy and Trina were so happy that I'll be home for three months. With Kitty's attitude, they are appreciative to have back up. " I'm so glad you are home honey" Daddy hugs me tighter than he did when I left for college.

" I'm so happy to be home too Daddy. I missed you guys so much" I hugged him back, reeling the familiar warmth. Margot will be home soon and the whole family will be complete.

" Hey don't forget about me now!" Trina whines. I let go of Daddy and hugged Trina. I'm so thankful for Trina. She's been here to keep Daddy and Kitty, mostly Kitty, from going at each other. I was so worried to leave them alone when I went to college. Trina makes our family feel whole. " I couldn't forget about you," I squeezed her before letting her go

"Are you ready for your big date tonight?" Trina asked. I've been talking about this date for a long time now. The past two anniversaries Peter and I usually go to the diner or watch a movie from our list at my house. But this year Peter told me he has a surprise for me. Which slightly scares me. All he told me was to dress nice.

" I am, but I have no idea what we are doing or where we are going" I'm trying to hide my nervousness.

"I'm pretty sure it will be great no matter what you guys end up doing" She reassures me

" LAURA JEAN GET UP HERE NOW BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT DOING YOUR HAIR" Kitty yells from upstairs. I practically had to beg her to curl my hair during her favorite show. And by beg I mean bake her my infamous snickerdoodles. I made sure to save at least four for Peter.

"That's my cue" I told them as I headed towards the stairs. Kitty was already in my room setting up he curling iron. She talked me out of doing any sort of braid to my hair. "Laura Jean college girls don't braid their hair anymore" if only she knew how many side braids I've seen walking around campus. I sit down at my vanity while Kitty does my hair. I've learned how to use a curling iron, but my curls pale in comparison to Kitty's. She always knows how to get that perfect curl without it being too tight. I opted for a light smokey eye and mascara. I'm more of a skin care girl than I am with makeup. As for my outfit, I settled with a burgundy high-low skirt with a sheer black tank-top and my favorite bralette, all tied together with a navy floral knotted kimono. When Kitty is done curling my hair, I tuck a little bit of it behind my ear and secured it with a bobby pin.

"Laura Jean, Peter is here!" I can hear daddy calling from downstairs. " Thank you so much Kitty" I hugged her but she tries to push me away. " yeah, yeah, I'm mostly doing this for Peter than you" but she has a slight smile on her face. Kitty may tease me a lot but, she still cares. I grabbed Peter's present and the Tupperware of cookies before heading downstairs

" Yeah I believe that the Redskins have what it takes to go to the Super bowl this season." Peter was in the kitchen talking to my dad. He turned his head towards the stairs and his eye grew big. I couldn't help but blush. Usually a surprised Peter is an unspoken compliment.

" You look amazing" His eyes are still big as I approached him. " Daddy can you take a picture of us?" I asked him and handed him my phone. We head to the foyer and posed in front of the door as my dad took the photos. I always ask him to take more than one for reassurance.

" You ready to go?" Peter asked me and then towards Daddy " Thank you again for the picture Dr. Covey and I'll have Lara Jean home before one." He extends his hand for Daddy to shake it " Don't forget my three rules"

" Dad!" I can't help but feel embarrassed. Peter has dropped me off so many times in three years and nothing bad has happened " I won't" he assures Daddy.

We get into Peter's audi and head towards our destination, wherever it is we are going. As we are driving, Peter kept sneaking glances at me. " Peter keep your eyes on the road" I cover my face to prevent him from staring at me. " I can't help it Covey! You are hot" That makes me blush even more. " You can stare all you want at dinner" I playfully push his cheek so that he's eyes are facing the road again. I stare out the window trying to see if I recognize or pick up where we are going. It's been a while since I've driven around town. Some places I don't remember how to get to anymore. I will definitely use a GPS when I pick Margot up from the airport next week. Peter pulls up at the school and I just give him a puzzling look.

"What are we doing at the school?!" I asked him. I have no idea what this boy is up to, but it's making me nervous. He just grins back at me and squeezes my hand" He puts his car on park and hands me a blind fold. " Here put this on"

"Really Peter?" The knots in my stomach getting tighter. " Come on Covey. It'll just be for a minute"

"Let me get my stuff first," I turned around and grabbed the present and the tupperwear of cookies before having him tie the blind fold on me. Peter is all about surprises ever since Senior Week so I don't doubt it will be a good one. I'm humming to myself the new BTS song when I hear a car door open.

"Come on, give me your hand," Peter helped me out of the car and leads the way, making sure I don't trip over anything. The ground feels soft. Are we at the football field I think to myself. After walking a for what seems like five minutes he stops me. He takes my blind fold off to reveal what he had instore for us.

On the field was a picnic blanket and a picnic basket on the grass. " I originally wanted to take you to the Pearce's treehouse since that's where I told you I love you" Peter said and kissed me on the cheek. The new neighbors tore down the tree house and replaced it with a gazebo. " This was the next best place I could think of. The place I confronted you about the letter. I pulled some strings to get Coach to let us use the field"

I could feel tears well up in my eyes. This was better than any restaurant we've ever been to. It came from the heart and that's what matters the most. " I love Peter it's perfect,"

We sat down on the blanket and Peter reaches in the basket and pulls out plastic to go containers. He's ordered Korean food from Seoul Garden, The small Korean restaurant near the Korean grocery store. He also brought soda for us, One Cherry Coke for me and a Dr. Pepper for him. We talked about summer plans and what classes we were going to be taking up next semester. Peter was so animated telling me how he was going to get more playing time next season. I'm so happy for him. He really deserves it. We finished off dinner with the snickerdoodles. Peter raved about how he misses my baked goods

" Lara Jean, there's a reason why I brought you here today" He set his empty container down on the blanket and grabs something from his pants pocket. I watched him get all flustered as his eyes meets mine, staring at me intently. I could see a small box on his hand and start freaking out. Is he going to ask me to marry him?

" Peter I don't think I'm ready for this yet." All of a sudden I feel warm. I tried fanning myself and reach for a scrunchy to get the hair away from my face. He could see the panic in my eyes and grabbed my hands for comfort " it's not what you think!" he said. He squeezed my hands and placed them on my lap. He reached for the box again and opened it. Inside held a thin, weaved, silver band with a small emerald in the middle. It's so beautiful and it's my birthstone. I want to pick it up to look at it.

"It's a promise ring," His voice grew cautious as he waits for me reaction. " The other day when we were talking about our plans after college it really got me thinking. After college I don't want to be apart anymore. I want to be wherever you are. I love you and you make me so happy Lara Jean. I thought what I had with Gen was love, but you've taught me what it's like to have someone care for you as much as I care for them. I hope by receiving this ring you'll know that I'm all in. It's you and me kid,"

Tears are welling in my eyes that all I could do was nod. I never knew Peter felt so strongly about me. I always get nervous bringing up the future out of fear of not being on the same page. But this reassured me that I don't have to be afraid of him or our relationship.

" It's so beautiful Peter. I love it" I said softly. I crawled towards him and sit on his lap. I kissed him, open-mouth and wrapped my arms around his neck. He kisses me back, letting go of the ring box and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulls away to place light kisses on my neck and collarbone " So does that mean you'll wear it?" He asked in between kisses.

" Yes I will" I wiped my face, careful not to mess up my mascara. " Wait how much did you spend on this?" it must have cost way more than what a college athlete can afford.

"It was nothing. I bought it at my mom's store I told her I would work for her all summer to pay for it, and I had some graduation money left over" he shrugged. I still can't help feeling guilty, but it's just so beautiful.

" There's just one problem… I'm not sure if I can wear this in front of my family yet," I looked down at the ring. I'm pretty sure Daddy would have a heart attack if he saw me wearing this. He knows that Peter and I are pretty and that scares him a little bit.

" Why not? I thought you loved it." Peter was looking at me with sad eyes. He knows that whatever he gives me that I always show it off to my parents.

" Well for one, this is not like it's a ring that I can just buy at a thrift store or a boutique, This is real gold," Trina and Kitty might be happy for me but I'm sure Margot and Daddy will have a hard time coming around to this.

" Covey," Peter cupped my face in his hand and kissed me to calm me down " We've been together on and off since high school. You're my high school sweetheart. Both of our parents know and support this relationship. We aren't high schoolers anymore. You have to give your family more credit than that,"

I know Daddy and Margot would eventually come around. Kitty would probably be a little indifferent about it really. It's so hard to tell with her. She always calls Peter her brother, but deep down she has more of an attachment towards him than I do.

" Peter you don't get it since you only have a brother. Parents are more over protective of their daughters than they are of their sons. Daddy still doesn't let Ravi and Margot sleep in the same room and they are older than us," I said feeling a little overwhelmed.

We both stared at each other unsure of what to do and what to say. I saw as his eyes peered over to my chest. This is not the right time to be staring at my breast Kavinsky. His hand reached towards my chest and gently grabbed my necklace, the one that he gave me.

" I have an idea" He said as he took the ring from me and unhooked my necklace

" Peter what are you doing" Why was he taking my necklace? Was he going to replace it with the ring? I watched as Peter slipped the chain of the necklace through the ring. The ring slid down until it was beside the pendant.

" Wear it around your neck for now until you are ready to show your family," He said as he placed the necklace around my neck with its new charm. I held it out to take a good look at it in front of me. Although the ring is has an emerald on and the locket has a diamond on it, it didn't look out of place.

Knowing that Peter is willing to take my side on things even if he thinks it's silly always puts me at ease. I don't think anyone has ever been as patient with me as he is. " Thank you for understand Peter," I say and I kiss his cheek again. Coming back to reality I realized that what I got him couldn't amount to what he's given me. I wish I would've ordered that watch that he really wanted so badly. Hopefully I can order it tomorrow and slip it as a late anniversary present.

"I feel bad now because my present won't amount to what you got me" I said interrupting our moment. I went over to grab the present to put it behind me, but he took it before I could even get the chance to.

"I love anything you give me" He shakes his head and looks at me. I sat back on his lap and handed the box to him. " it's not much but I was hoping you would like it." I watched as he unwrapped the present and touches the scrapbook of love notes. He flips through the pages skimming some of the letters that were in there. Nervously, I search his eyes for reassurance.

" This is perfect. I can't believe you saved all these memories" He has a small smile on his face and holds me tighter. " I can't wait to read all of this later."

We finished our picnic cuddled up and watched the sun go down and stargazing until I started getting sleepy. I keep stealing glances at the ring that is hung around my neck on the necklace that Peter bought me for Valentine's day two years ago. I told Peter that it would be too soon to give Daddy a heart attack if he sees it on finger and he agrees. Leave it to Daddy to jump to conclusions about it. We packed up the blanket and the basket and head towards the car.

"Thank you so much for tonight Peter," I told him as he in front of my house" it's almost midnight and I can see Daddy's and Trina's light still on. No doubt waiting for me to get home. " Of course; Thank you for the present" He leans over and kisses me on the lips " Now get some sleep. I have to wake up early to drive my mom to an estate sale". I kiss him one more time and get out of the car. I wait for him to leave before going inside. In house is quiet and dim. The only light that is on downstairs is the one on the foyer. I headed upstairs and knocked on the door of Daddy's and Trina's room " I'm home now." Daddy always told me to do that to let him know that I am home. " Thank you honey, good night."

I made my way to my room and closed the door behind me. I still can't believe what happened tonight. How will I tell my family without them jumping to conclusions. I'll wait a week or two. Then I'll casually start wearing it. We'll see. I changed into my night gown and tried to go to sleep; I can't though. I'm still on a high from the date. I turned on my lamp and I went straight to the closet. I pulled out my hat box sat at my desk. There laid copies of all the letters I have given to Peter. I kept the original, draft of each letter. I love to keep them for my own safe keeping. Going in order, I picked up the one The first letter that I wrote for our second year anniversary

Dear Peter…

 _A/N: Hey everyone! I was in a writing mood since I'm waiting for my snickerdoodles to bake. Lara Jean is dedicated to baking, it takes me almost three hours to get the job done. I have a lot instore for our two lovebirds. If you would like to suggest anything for future chapters feel free to leave feedback. I know their anniversary is in January, but I kind of moved it to when they got back together during the tree house reunion. That part really made me feel like that was when they became official-official. I may do some flashback chapters while I'm at it. We'll see. Hope you all enjoy chapter 2!_


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Peter,

It's been two years since we first told each other we loved each other. I know you wanted to count New Year's day and our fake relationship, but it didn't seem right. Our anniversary should be when we became official-official. To me it's that day we got rid of our contract in the Carolyn Pearce's old treehouse. I know we technically broke up during the bachelor-bachelorette party, but we never stopped loving each other.

Thank you for loving me for two years. You could have any girl you wanted to. Instead you chose to love me. You make me feel so special and wanted. I'm so glad that we were each other's first kiss. Part of me is still jealous that Gen was your first, but I wouldn't want to change what we have. Thank you for being patient with me with sex. I know it's driving you crazy with our almost, but please give me more time. When the time is right for both of us, we'll know

Love Always,

Lara Jean

A swirl of emotions overcame me as I was reading. I could feel myself blush by the time I got to the second paragraph. Peter and I had sexual tension for what seemed like months. There were so many almost, but I always back out. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be as good as Genevieve was. Her and Peter did it all the time when they were together. I also heard horror stories that it would hurt as well. I still think about it constantly when I'm alone at night.

Peter and I were in my apartment back at UNC. The school year had officially ended since I finished my last exam today. This was the to celebrate our anniversary, relaxed and exam free. I told my family that I was heading home the next day since Katrina and I were going to celebrate finishing our freshman year with our friends. Instead I cooked chicken parmesan for Peter and we had a quiet night in for our anniversary.

I didn't tell him, but I was planning on giving myself to him tonight. Every time we had talked about it and planned it, one of us always chickened out. He was so afraid that he was pressuring me that he would sometimes distance himself. Every time he wanted to I always had my period thus preventing us to even attempt it.

" How did you think you did on your English exam Covey?" Peter asked me as he was finishing his salad.

" I believe I did okay on it. We had to write an essay on the career path we wanted to choose. I wrote mine on what inspired me to be a baker in the first place," There was so much going on in my mind. I was glad that Peter was taking up most of our conversation. Breathe Lara Jean you can do this.

During dinner we talked about how we were so glad that school was done with and survived our freshman year of college. Peter still had to stay for a few more weeks since his team was in the playoffs. This was the only week that he had available before the playoffs.

"Peter I think I'm ready," I blurted out loud, my thoughts getting the best of me.

" Ready for dessert or? " Peter asked raising his eyebrow at me. I shook my head and got up. He never took his eyes off me even as I sat on his lap. This is it. I'm going to give myself to Peter.

" No Peter I'm ready for you," I kissed him as his eyes widened. I poured all of my want and longing into this kiss. I break away only to plant kisses on his neck. Making a trail with kisses, I make my way to his ear and whispered " I want you now," and then I kissed him again.

Peter didn't hesitate as he got up, taking me with him. I wrapped my arms and legs around his neck and waists as we make our way towards my room. Peter mimicked on me that I did to him. A small moan escaped my lips. He dropped me lightly on my bed and started unbuttoning his shirt. Peter has been working out a lot more ever since starting. I couldn't help but stare at his abs.

" You have no idea how much I want you right now Covey," he growled as he hovered himself over me. His hands made his way under my shirt and shirt and bra. My breathing hitched as I felt his touch on my breast. So far so good I think to myself as he continued to fondle me.

" Can I?" He asked me and I nodded. Peter always tell me that I'm the one who calls the shots on when I'm ready, but I told him that he has to guide me along the way. He slipped off my shirt and trailed kisses all over my chest. He stopped at my belly button and looked back at me.

"Are you sure you are ready Lara Jean?," I can see the lust in his darken eyes and gulped. It's now or never. I just nodded. His hands made their way up my skirt and that's when I registered what was going on. I thought I was ready but now I'm not too sure.

" Peter wait," I shot straight up, startling him. He got off of me, his eyes worried.

" Is everything okay? " He asked. I can see that he feels bad. He feels as if he's done something wrong.

" I'm so sorry I thought I was ready," I feel so flustered. This was not what I was expecting to happen. For some reason all I could think of was Genevieve and how many times they have been in this situation. I crawled under the bed and let myself weep silently.

" Hey hey hey, no need to apologize," Peter made his way under the covers and pulled me close to him.

" I ruined our anniversary," I could never tell him what came to mind. He knows my insecurity with sex.

Peter held me closer and let me cry on his chest " I got to spend the anniversary with you and have your amazing cooking. You didn't ruin anything," he placed a small kiss on my forehead and rubbed my back. " I told you before Covey. I'll wait until you are ready. I'm in no rush,"

That whole night he held onto me until I cried my eyes dried.

My chest has been feeling heavier every time I'm around my family. It's been a week since Peter gave me the promise ring and I haven't told them yet. They keep asking me what he got me and I just played it off saying he wrote me another poem since he spent so much at dinner. I doubt that they believed me though. Peter has been more romantic with his surprises since senior year so they were expecting a lot.

Me, Peter, and Kitty were going to the pool that day. Every memorial day weekend Gabe and his brother, Xavier, hosts a pool party . Xavier was a year older than Kitty and her friends. After finding out that Kitty's friends were going, she practically begged Peter and I to take her.

" Everyone who was anyone is going to be there" Kitty exclaimed. She interrupted us while we were watching _Dirty Dancing_.

"Aren't you a little too young to be going to a high school party?" I'm not sure how Daddy would feel about an eight-grader going to her first high school party. Not to mention there would be alcohol.

"Please Lara Jean? Alicia Bernard is going to be there and she told me I just have to be there or else I'll be a nobody. I promise I won't drink." Her eyes were bright with longing.

" Come on Covey. We can't risk the kid to lose her popularity now. Middle schoolers are brutal. Any little thing can hurt their status" Peter took the pause from our movie to stretch out on the couch and put his head on my lap. He isn't wrong though, that was when Genevieve and I stopped being friends.

" Kitty if you let us finish the movie than we'll take you," Who am I to hurt Kitty's status in school. Besides it's not like she'll be following us the whole time. " But the moment I see a red solo cup near you then we are leaving"

I was getting ready for the pool when Kitty barges into my room.

"Hey Lara Jean can I-" She started but couldn't finish because I blurted out " Kitty when did you start wearing two pieces?" I stared at her in disbelief. Kitty was wearing a high-neck two piece bathing suit and jean shorts over it.

" Lara Jean, I'm in middle school and in middle school is when we set our reputation for high school" Kitty made her way to my closet and pulled out a UNC tank top off of its hanger " Besides, as a young women I have the right to feel comfortable in what I wear" and with that she left. Poor Daddy having to deal with Kitty's teen phase without having Margot or I to help him out. Thankfully he has Trina.

Peter had the same facial expression I did when he saw Kitty. He looked straight at me and all I could give him was a shrug. We both know that Kitty has a mind of her own. Peter never has it easier dealing with Owen's puberty phases than I do with Kitty. I didn't handle her first period as well as Margot handled mine.

" You should know Kitty by now," I just told him and left it at that.

"I'll kick anyone's ass if they stare at her," Peter's jaw clenched up. I love how overprotective he gets of her.

" I'm pretty sure Kitty would do it before you," I believe my sister would let anyone know she's not someone to objectify.

The barbecue ended up being a lot of fun. Kitty migrated towards her friends on the other side of the pool and we were able to see a lot of our old friends that we went to high school with. Peter got to brag about his future playing time with Gabe and Darrell and I got to catch up with Pammy.

" That's the most romantic thing ever," Pammy was gushing over the ring that Peter gave me. I was in my coral bikini lounging around with Pammy while the boys tossed around a football in the pool. Thankfully Kitty walked away before I took off my shirt, revealing both the necklace and ring.

" Not so loud Pammy," I shushed her " Kitty might hear you and I haven't told them" I looked around and saw Kitty was too absorbed with her friends to notice. I caught Peter staring at me with a smirk. He sees that I'm talking to Pammy about the ring.

" Why haven't you showed your parents yet?" Pammy asked. That's when Peter and the boys got back and bombarded us

" We're afraid that her dad might have a heart attack," Peter answered for me. He isn't wrong though.

" I've been wearing it under my shirts the past few days, or hide it under my pendant," I wanted to wait until everyone was home to tell them all. That and I'm not too sure exactly what to say to them yet.

We all stayed at the pool until sun down. Darrell and Pammy challenged Peter and I to a few rounds of chicken. Peter is a lot stronger than Darrell, but Pammy was a lot stronger than me. They ended up winning.

Kitty had invited Peter over for dinner when we got home. For dinner Daddy has a tradition to make galbi and rice, Korean short ribs and grilled chicken for Trina. Peter and I were in my living room talking about the beach trip we were taking with our old high school friends.

" When are you going to tell them about the ring?" Peter asked me seriously. " Your family already knows something is up."

" I want to wait until Margot is here to tell them" It wasn't a lie. I hate telling Margot important information through text messages or phone calls.

Peter's fingers were on my neck, feeling for the necklace when his hand stopped. " Covey why aren't you wearing your necklace?"

My hand immediately went up to my neck and I all I could feel was bare skin. I had taken my necklace off to wash the chlorine off it and left it in the bathroom. " I must have left it in the bathroom. I'll be back," I headed towards the bathroom upstairs and saw Kitty looking at my necklace. She's always admired this necklace when I showed it to her. I've let her wear it on a few occasions, but never has she not seen it on my neck.

" I don't remember this pendant being on here," She was examining the band until she saw the emerald on it and looked at me

" Is this?" But I grabbed it before she could continue. She headed towards the door, but I pushed her back before she to get away.

" I can explain this I swear," panic is rising in me, begging her to hear me out.

"PETER!" Kitty called out to him. She would involve him in this. Peter came up in a heartbeat trying to figure out what we were fighting about.

" What did you give Lara Jean for your anniversary?" Kitty demanded while crossing her arms.

"I got her um a barrette that she has been eyeing at my mom's shop" Peter is so terrible at lying.

" She knows Peter," I said quietly.

Peter tensed up as he held me close to him, my back against his chest. "Kitty I know what it looks like, but it's not like that. It's a promise ring,"

A span of emotions came across Kitty's face ranging from shock, hurt, and a hint of jealousy. " How is that any different than you giving her an engagement ring?"

" Kitty you of all people should know how I feel about Lara Jean. You've helped us get back together so many times. Yes it's a big deal, but I love her and I gave her that to as a promise. A promise to love her and be there for her as long as she will have me,"

" What if you two break up again?" This girl isn't letting us have it.

"Kitty we are in our twenties now. We aren't two the two love-sick teenagers we once were. Peter and I have been together for two years straight without breaking up. Please just trust us with this."

"Margot and Daddy are going to freak when they find out,"

"Kitty please don't tell them! This is the exact thing I was afraid of. I was planning on telling you guys when Margot gets here!" I begged her. Leave it to Kitty to spill the beans on me.

" I'll keep it a secret…" Her grin grew as she said this. I don't like where this is going. " But you and Peter have to drive me wherever I want to go, including parties"

"Kitty that's ridiculous! You know Daddy would kill you and me if he knows that you are already going to high school parties!"

" It's your choice Lara Jean," she sang and slipped passed us.

I could feel myself freaking out as I start to hyperventilate. Peter turned me to face him and he pulled closer to him.

" Covey it's okay, Kitty is mischievous and sneaky, but she would never go behind your back and tell your dad news like this" He assured me

I could feel a whole lot of tension during dinner tonight. I think that Daddy could sense it as well. Peter was talking to Trina about protein diets while Kitty was talking to Daddy about her upcoming plans with Alicia.

" Lara Jean are you okay? You barely touched your galbi. I thought you loved when I made galbi?" Daddy asked me. I wasn't really talkative at the dinner table. My mind was too preoccupied with dinner.

" Yeah daddy I'm fine. I had a huge lunch at Gabe's pool party today," I lied and eyed Peter. I really hate lying to him. Just one more week until I could tell them.

" Guess what I found out today," Kitty chimed. Shit she's going to tell them. Both Trina and Daddy looked at Kitty with curiosity.

" I told Kitty today how Owen's best friend, Mark, was thinking about asking Kitty to the dance." Peter interrupted " She told me she would only say yes if I gave them a ride". Where are you going with this Kavinsky? Kitty doesn't do dances.

" Uhh yeah. I wanted to play hard to get so I'm going to make him think that we are going to the dance," There it was. The silent agreement that Peter and Kitty had to her offer earlier.

"That's how you have to do it Kitty! Never let the boy you are more interested than they are," Trina

" Maybe I should talk to this guy before you guys leave for the dance Peter," Daddy pitched in. I'm sure he's not ready to let his youngest daughter date yet. Maybe not until she's thirty.

The rest of the dinner seemed to go by smoothly after that. I was able to eat more, although I was still feeling a bit nervous. I don't think Peter making a deal with Kitty is the same thing as selling himself.

Peter and I drove to his apartment after dinner to get some separation from Kitty. We were laying on his bed watching the rest of _Dirty Dancing_.

" I hope you know that agreeing to Kitty is almost equivalent to selling yourself," I shook my head and faced him.

" It's fine Covey. You know the kid has a soft spot for me anyways," He kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand. " Besides you know I would do anything for us. Even if it means going to war with your sister". This boy would do anything for me. He has proven it over and over again throughout the past few years.

They next thing I did surprised both me and him. I sat up and reached for the hem of my shirt. He watched my every move carefully. I always thought that sex had to happen at the perfect time and the perfect occasion. Being with Peter made me realize that you shouldn't force it. When the moment is there you have to take the opportunity. I threw my shirt on the floor and climbed onto of him.

" Covey are you -," Peter started but I shhed him " I'm more sure of it now than I've ever been," he searched my face to see any hint of fear and kissed me with as much passion as he could muster.

A/n: I'm sorry to leave you on this guys. It's really hard for me to write smut. I had to rewrite this chapter 3 times because of it. I really hope you like this chapter. I really wanted more Peter and LJ content. Maybe one day I won't be afraid to write it, but you get the idea ;). Hope you guys like this chapter and please leave some feedback for future chapters!


	4. Chapter 4

_A/n: OMGOMGOMG WHO IS EXCITED FOR THE SEQUAL?! So I decided to do a chapter dedicated to the sequel annunciation. My Centineo heart right now omg. Read read read, I really hope you like this chapter. I'd like to give a shout out to my fans that gave me feedback on my last chapter._

" Besides you know I would do anything for us. Even if it means going to war with your sister". This boy would do anything for me. He has proven it over and over again throughout the past few years.

They next thing I did surprised both me and him. I sat up and reached for the hem of my shirt as he watched my every move carefully. I always thought that sex had to happen at the perfect time and the perfect occasion. Being with Peter made me realize that you shouldn't force it. When the moment is there you have to take the opportunity. I threw my shirt on the floor and climbed onto of him.

" Covey are you -," Peter started but I hushed him " I'm more sure of it now than I've ever been," he searched my face to see any hint of fear and kissed me with as much passion as he could muster.

Every time we almost did it flooded my brain: The time at Carolyn Pearce's old treehouse, Beach Week, and our two year anniversary. Normally when I start thinking about that or about how Genevieve and Peter did it like rabbits I would back off. Not today. I wasn't going to let my insecurities get in the way of mine and Peter's moment.

Peter rolled us so that he was hovering over me, making sure that he wasn't putting any weight on me. His lips made his way to my neck and ears, nibbling at my ear. A low growl escaped his lips.

" You are so sexy Covey," his hands made their way to the clasp of my bra and unhooked it.

Automatically I wanted to cover up my breast. I have never felt this naked physically and emotionally in front of anyone in my entire life. " Are you okay," Peter asked protectively. He must have felt me tense up.

"I am. I'm just not comfortable with my own body," I nodded my head

" You're body is beautiful," he said against my chest

I brought his lips back to meet mine and ran my fingers through his hair. I begged him to keep his hair longer. His hands made their way to my butt and squeezed it lightly, causing me to giggle

" Peter!" I squealed. He couldn't help but laugh and started attacking my neck with kisses.

" I want you so badly Lara Jean Covey" He groaned.

" I want you so much Peter Grant Kavinsky" I confirmed what I've been sure of all along. I've loved this boy for three years. He is the one I'm meant to lose it to. With that Peter stripped off the rest of his clothes as long as mine. Peter kissed me one more time and broke away. His eyes were baring into mine like he was pouring out his whole soul to me. It's my favorite look that makes me melt in his arms.

I, Lara Jean Song Covey am no longer a virgin. Never would I imagine having my first time in Peter Kavinsky's apartment. I heard so many horror stories about it as well. Chris once told me that it would be awkward and only last a few minutes. Not with Peter. He was so gentle with me and didn't wouldn't push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable doing.

" How are you feeling?" Peter asked me while squeezing my leg. We were on the way back to my house. The events that unfolded that night still on my head. Peter was very hesitant to touch me afterwards. Every time I would moan in pain he would stop and kept asking if I was okay. Just like he is now.

"I'm a little sore, but I'm okay," I reassured him " I'm sorry about your sheets," I was mortified with the mess we had made. Never did I think I'd make that much of a mess

" It's okay Covey don't worry about it," He tried to stop me from bringing the sheets home with me. I promised him I would clean it since it was my mess. "Lara Jean I was just going to throw it away and buy new ones,"

" Peter your mom just bought these sheets this year. There is no way that I'm not going to clean it." Imagine Mrs. Kavinsky cleaning these sheets and finding out what we did.

" You can do whatever you want with them. Just know I never asked you to clean them," He threw up his hands in defeat. All I could do was roll my eyes and shake his head.

We were parked outside of my house killing time before my curfew. I'm probably the only college kid still with a curfew. At least when I'm at home.

" Hey Covey guess what?" Peter grinned

" What?" I raised my eyebrow at him

" I just had sex with the girl with the sexy Amish bikini," Peter laughed and kissed my check. I couldn't help but punch him in the shoulder for that " Ow Covey that hurt,"

" That is so not funny Peter!," He so deserved that punch. " Just for that I'm going inside early" I pouted and got out of the car. I wasn't really mad at him. I just didn't think he should be joking about that video. Peter ran after me and pulled me close, hugging me from behind.

" I'm sorry Lara Jean. I know I shouldn't have brought that video up again," He rested his head on my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

I turned around so that I was facing him, wrapping my arms around his neck " It's okay. I just really want to leave that video in high school as well as our past," I told him kissing the tip of his nose " I have to go anyways, it's almost one,"

This was always Peter's worst part of the day: saying goodbye. Luckily it's summer so we can spend almost every day with each other.

" Okay good night," He pouted and kissed me on the lips. Part of me wanted to deepen the kiss, but I'm afraid that he would want to take this up to my room. I think once is enough for me right now.

I pulled away and kissed his cheek "Goodnight Peter," I made my way back to his car and took the bag with the sheets " Expect these good as new by tomorrow," I teased. It was his turn to roll his eye

" Go to sleep Covey," He headed toward his car and waited for me to go in. I made my way into the house and went straight to the bathroom. I searched the bathroom for a bucket to soak the sheets in. I filled the bucket with hot water and peroxide. This was the secret Margot had taught me to get any stain out. I'll just have to wake up before Kitty to get these sheets in the was before she could suspect anything. While waiting, I decided to go ahead and brush my teeth and washed my face.

My phone's text tone rang out as I got settled into bed. Only one person I know would be awake right now: Margot

 **Hey LJ! I can't wait to see you and the family next week for my graduation!**

Oh shit. I forgot all about Margot's graduation. I have been on cloud nine the past few weeks. How could something this important slip my mind? Next week was when I was planning on showing Margot my ring. I'm still debating if I want to tell her about tonight. We had a pact before to wait until we were married or truly in love. She broke that by having sex with Josh when they were dating. I didn't appreciate learning all about it in a letter. Maybe I'll wait on this new. One news bomb is already enough for my family. I'll worry about that in the morning.

The next morning I woke up at seven am feeling so sore. Chris said this was to be expected to, but I didn't think I was going to feel this uncomfortable. I went to check on my sheets that was soaking. To my luck Kitty was still sleeping . I made my way to the bathroom to check up on the stain. Yes the stain was able to come off. I emptied the water that was in the bucket and put the sheets in the in the wash.

I went back to my room to fetch my phone. I really needed to reply to Margot.

 **I can't wait to see you graduate! Hope Scotland is ready for the Song girls**

I also got a text from Peter that morning as well.

 **How are you feeling Covey? I can't stop thinking about last night . Hope that you had fun. I'll be by after work to pick you up for dinner.**

I tried going back to sleep on the couch but my body wasn't having it. Ever since I started taking 8 am classes it made it harder to sleep in. Since I couldn't go back to bed I decided to make banana pancakes. As I was cooking the banana pancakes my mind kept wandering back to last night.

I was always curious about how sex would made me feel, but I never thought it could feel that good. Every touch and kiss was cemented in my brain.

" You are up pretty early," Trina was pouring herself coffee, distracting me from my train of thought.

" Oh yeah, Well I couldn't really sleep and I was starving so I decided to make breakfast for me and Kitty," I hope I didn't look as red as I felt.

" So what did you end up doing with Peter last night after dinner?" She asked

"Nothing. I mean we finished the movie last night and walked around campus," I really need to start lying better. At least half of it wasn't a lie. " So I was thinking of going to the groceries today. Do you or dad have a list of things I can buy?" I asked. Maybe shopping could help distract me from facing my family.

" Yeah I have a list on the side of the fridge," Trina looked at her watch and grabbed her purse " Hey I have to get to work now. Tell Kitty to clean the bathroom or else no allowance," And with that she was rushing out the door.

Kitty looked very delighted that I made her breakfast. She elected to eat her pancakes in front of the TV. I decided to clean the kitchen and the living room. I had to get my mind on something else besides last night.

" Why are you walking funny?" Kitty asked me as I was dusting near the TV. If only she knew how sore I am right now she would understand.

"Peter thought it would be a fun idea to go to the gym after dinner last night," I never go to the gym. Peter dragged me to the gym with him once and that was the only time I've ever been with him.

" There's something different about you. You seem more perky than usual," I hate how observant this girl is

"Well that's because we are going to see Gogo soon. And we get to spend a whole week in Scotland,"

" Whatever you say Lara Jean." She said in disbelief. Kitty was the best at reading people. She could always tell what someone is feeling and if they were lying. " I'm going to ask Peter to take me to the movies after he gets off of work." Kitty got off the couch and put her dishes in the sink

" Peter has other responsibilities besides driving you around. Besides I can take you," I offer

" Hmmm riding your car or Peter's Audi… I think I would rather choose the Audi. There's something uncool about being driven around by your older sibling" she jabbed. " He was the one that made the deal to keep your little ring," She said gabbing at the ring around my neck " a little secret."

" Going back to your little deal. Why are you doing this Katherine?" I asked her. I've been meaning to talk to both of them about it, but I didn't want to do it in front of Daddy and Trina. " Song sisters don't blackmail each other,"

" Song sisters also tell each other everything and not leave anyone behind," Kitty attacked back

" What are you talking about?" I tell her mostly everything. Besides the things that I want to keep to myself

" Since you've been at Chapel Hill you haven't been the same," Kitty kept her place at the kitchen not wanting to go near me. " You never really seem like you want to go home anymore. I thought you said you wanted to be there for my big moments.

It's true, I have been away a lot more than I thought I would. I've also been slacking on my phone calls. I told myself I wasn't going to be the big sister Margot was when she first started college. I remember how sad I was and how much I needed her. As strong and independent as Kitty is, I never thought she would feel as neglected as I felt about Margot.

" How come you didn't tell me this before?" I went to the kitchen and took a seat beside her on the breakfast bar.

Kitty shrugged " I guess because Peter told me you were busy with school. I know I don't like getting all soft and sappy, but I needed you for my big moments"

It killed me to miss Kitty's thirteenth birthday, bra shopping, and teaching her about tampons. She had Trina, but I always thought I would have been the one to teach and help her through all these things

" Kitty there is nothing that I want more than to be there for you. I'm sorry I haven't been the best big sister," I pulled her in for a hug. This time she didn't try to push me away " It killed me that I couldn't be there for your big moments. My first month of college was hard, but Margot once told me that I had to be the big sister and be brave for you,"

" It's okay, I mean Peter was there for a lot of things, but sometimes it's hard to talk to him about girl stuff," She blushed. Kitty is getting to the age where she's already starting to see guys as more than just friends. I remember that phase very well.

"From now on just call me or blow up my phone if you need me. Unless I have an exam I'll drop everything to be there for you. Song girl promise," I held up my pinky for her to link her pinky to. This Song girl pact wasn't one I would break.

" Lara Jean, I hope you know that I really wouldn't rat you out to Daddy and Trina. I was just upset that you didn't tell me and Margot when he first gave it to you. I really like Peter a lot and already consider him part of the family. I just don't want you forgetting about me. " She admitted

" I appreciate that Kitten. Peter can never forget about you! He adores you as much as you adore him," it's true. They have their own special relationship outside of mine and Peters

Kitty eventually ended up helping me clean the house. We were doing our share of the bathroom when Kitty asked " So have you and Peter done it yet?"

"Kitty! Why would you ask something like that?" I was scrubbing the bath tub and I dropped the brush. This is not the conversation I want to have with my little sister. Not until she's twenty at least.

" Well you have been with him since high school and he used to do it with his ex all the time" Kitty said matter-of-factly.

What do I tell her? Kitty can always tell when I'm lying. I'm better at lying than Margot is, but Kitty always has a way of finding out. Rather hear it from me than the letter I'm going to write later.

" Yes we have." I admitted " But don't you go doing anything with any guy soon. Daddy will have a heart attack" I warned her

" What are you lecturing me for? I don't even like anyone!" False. She told Peter last month that she likes Gabe's brother Xavier.

"Peter and I have been together for years and still, I waited until I was really ready and he's someone I love a lot." She seemed to accept that answer. " Can you please not tell Margot? I was planning on telling her after the graduation"

Kitty was over the moon knowing that she found out before Margot did " So when did it happen?" she smirked

"Katherine Song Covey that is none of your business" I blushed and threw a dirty towel at her.

Kitty got what she wanted of course. Peter caved to her when she asked him for a ride to the movies. I told her that she could ask him as long as she apologized for trying to blackmail both of us. Peter drove my car so that we could drop Kitty off and drive to get dinner.

" Peter what's sex?" She asked out of the blue. Peter almost hit the curb with her question

" Um Kid I think that you are a little too young for this conversation" I can see him growing red. He's secretly cursing at me.

" I've already talked to Lara Jean about it. I just want a guy's point of view," She wasn't going to give up

" Kitty! This is a conversation you need to have way way in the future" I groaned as she cackled. She just loves torturing us

" So you told the kid?" Peter asked annoyed now. We were finally alone after dropping Kitty off. We decided to have dinner at the diner while waiting for her.

"The kid has her way with words," I shrugged. " Besides she was nine when she found out that Margot lost her virginity to Josh"

" Ahh I don't really want to hear that," Peter teased. I threw a fry at him " It's just a little strange. I mean she's like a little sister to me. That's like if I were to tell Owen we had sex,"

" Please don't tell me you've talked to Owen about sex already," I asked in horror. Owen was a lot more shy than Kitty is.

" I already walked in on him watching Porn." He snorted

"Ahh please that's just so weird to hear," I covered my ears. It was my turn to get freaked out. " Girls are different. They tell each other everything,"

"Oh god what did you tell her?" He eyes grew in alarm

" Don't worry, I didn't elaborate anything." Kitty is way too close to Peter to be knowing all of this. I don't think I can talk to Margot about the specifics. " Remember that night at Carolyn Pearce's old treehouse when we got to second base?"

" Yeah I do. You totally freaked out on me saying you weren't ready to have sex with me yet." Peter laughed. That day seemed like such a life time ago. I remember how excited Peter got when I agreed with him that girls were more curious about sex than boys are.

" I was so worried that my boobs weren't as big as Genevieve's" I admitted

Peter's eyes grew wide at this " Covey that is so not true. Your boobs are perfect," He whispered in my ears causing me to blush even more.

" Now I know you are lying," I rolled my eyes and pushed him away slightly.

" I'm serious Covey. Your boobs are the only ones I want to play with" He grinned

" Peter!" I groaned

Since last night every time Peter touches me I get mini heart palpations. There are times when we are alone where I just want him all over me. Peter wanted to sneak in my room an hour after he dropped me a Kitty off. Now that Kitty knows, there is no way we would be doing anything with her in the house. I was always curious about sex. I've read so many books and heard so many stories from Chris and Pammy about it, but never did I think I would start craving it this much. No wonder people want to jump each other's bones all the time. The only way I could get all of this out of my chest was to write about it.

Dear Peter,

That night in your apartment was overwhelming and amazing at the same time. I'm very glad that you were my first. You knew from the start how important the intimate stuff is to me . Even if anything were to happen to us, I can look back and see that I shared my first time with someone I truly love.

You already know I'm a naturally curious person as it is. Is this what sex is really like? Is it normal to crave someone's touch all the time. I'm not going to lie, it hurt a little bit, but in a good way. Every time you touch me it sends shivers down my spine.

Thank you for being so patient with me. For the longest time it was hard for me to believe you were willing to wait, especially with your past. I'm also sorry if I was very awkward my first time as well. The whole time I was afraid of sex was because I kept comparing myself to Genevieve. The way you looked at me afterwards, like I was the only girl in the world, is what made me our moment all the more special. I love that I can share this experience with you.

Love Always,

Lara Jean

p.s. Thank you for not freaking out when Kitty attacked you with questions. I love you so much for that.

 _A/n:_ _AHHHH lol our little LJ is full of surprises. Who all is ready for the sequel? I watched that video like 7 times. I really hope you like this chapter. It took so many retries to write this chapter._ _Sorry if some of the information is a little TMI, but stuff like this happens when it comes to this stuff._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/n: So this time of year is the best time of year for me! I absolutely love the feeling of thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. Christmas is very special to Lara Jean because of her family traditions and you know that New Year's day is when Lara Jean confessed her feelings for Peter ;). Hope you guys enjoy this Christmas chapter! BTW sorry for any gramma typos or if this chapter is a little jumpy._

I was cleaning my room while waiting for Trina and Daddy to get home from work . We were going to pick Margot up from the airport today. I'm so excited to see Gogo again although we just saw her last week during her graduation. But this time will be different. This time she will be home. She was going to look for jobs in the DC area if possible. She said at least she will be in the city and close to home at the same time. I picked up my hatbox to put it back in its place in my closet. As I was heading towards my closet I hit my leg on the side of me bed

"Crap!" I yelled out dropping my hatbox causing all of my letters to fall on the floor. I can tell there will be a huge bruise on my thigh in a few hours. I went down to pick everything that fell out up until one of the letters distracted me. I picked it up to read it. It was the Christmas/New Year's letter.

Dear Peter,

The holiday season used to be my favorite time of the year. Me, Daddy, Margot and Kitty would go to the Christmas tree farm an hour away to pick the biggest tree, by Kitty's request of course, and start the Christmas cookie bonanza. Do you when we were fake dating and we had to pick out which cookies would make it to the bonanza? You and Daddy were the only one that wanted those disgusting fruitcake cookies.

But that was until that video surfaced and ruined this time of year for me. That was also the time that we didn't talk to each other for six days. How silly of us to miss each other so much when we didn't talk for six days. That time seemed like forever ago.

This holiday season made up for all of that. Even though you went over our price limit on the presents. Thank you so much for helping get closure from that ski trip junior year.

Love Always,

Lara Jean

* * *

I used to think that I would never get over that video. Although Peter was able to get the video taken down, people were still sharing it. Eventually something new came along and things started going back to normal. Part of me wonders if that video is the reason why I didn't get into UVA. Silly of me to think that, but once a video gets posted online, it's there forever.

Peter and I survived our first semester apart as a long-distance couple. It definitely wasn't easy though. I remember having to adjust to the cut-throat classes of Chapel Hill. Peter was still very adamant about transferring. He didn't care that he wouldn't play for a year after transferring, but the transfer process is rigorous. If you don't have a GPA above a three point eight or more you can forget about transferring to Chapel Hill.

Kitty and I chose which cookies we were going to bake for the Christmas cookie bonanza with Margot via Facetime over thanksgiving break. We had to choose early because by the time I got back from Chapel Hill, it would be hard to bake all these cookies before Christmas. We always had a rule that no Christmas music would be played in the house until the first of December. This was the first year that I couldn't go with Daddy, Kitty and Trina to go pick out a Christmas tree. I now understood how Margot felt when she got back home to see that we started Christmas without her.

"Hey Covey do you need help packing any of these cookies?" Peter asked me while stealing an orange creamsicle cookie. This year's winners for the bonanza was gingerbread cookies, sugar cookies with eggnog frosting and peanut butter cookies with Hershey's kisses in the middle. I only trusted Peter to help out with measuring the ingredients. The last time I trusted him to stir the flour in he tried to stir in all the flour at once and left a huge mess in our kitchen. It took us forever to get all the flour out of our hair.

" Yeah that would be great actually." I was standing on the counter top taking out the containers for the cookies.

" Where do you keep your wax paper" Peter asked as he was rummaging through our kitchen drawers.

" Top right drawer on the island." I placed the five plastic containers on the island for Peter to place the cookies in.

We were giving the cookies to Peter's family, Trina's parents, Haven's family, Josh's family, and Daddy's mom. Ever since Christmas break started I have always been on the go. I only gave myself a few days to relax before getting started on the bonanza. Margot and Kitty were in the kitchen helping with the baking as well. When all the doughs were folded Kitty asked Margot if she could take her to Target so they could go shopping for Trina and Daddy. I told them I didn't mind them leaving since Peter would be coming over.

" Peter if you keep eating the cookies there won't be any to gift," I swatted his hand as he tried to put another cookie in his mouth

" Come on," He whined " It's so hard to resist your baking."

Lara Jean couldn't help but smile at this. The best part about baking is people complimenting how good the outcome tastes.

" I already set aside cookies for us to enjoy after we are done dropping these cookies off." I showed him the cookie jar that I hid in the pantry.

" That is why I love you Covey," I helped Peter plate all the cookies in the containers and placed bows on top of each container. Our next task was to deliver these cookies to each family before Christmas Eve dinner.

This year I begged Peter not to buy any more expensive jewelry. I feel bad that my presents can never amount to how great his are. This year we decided to have a price limit for our presents. I already knew what I was going to get him. Peter has always been going on how it never snows on Christmas. So this year I'm going to make it snow for Peter. Not literally. I got the idea from an episode of Gossip Girl. The main character, Serena, made it snow in a studio for her boyfriend, Dan. When I saw this idea I knew that is what I wanted to do for Peter. Josh, Margot, Kitty, and Owen, which I had Kitty bribe, are helping me with this plan. Josh even let us borrow his projector for this project. They are at his apartment right now decorating his room.

" So what did you get me this year for Christmas?" Peter begged me with his best pout.

"Nice try Peter. You know I can't tell you that," I smiled innocently at him. I've been trying my best to keep him out of the house.

"Can't you at least give me a hint?"

" Nah Kavinksy. Besides you can wait a few more hours for it," Christmas Eve was when we agree that we would exchange presents since we are both going to spend Christmas day with our families

We decided to go to Grandma's house before going to Haven's since she lives the furthest. I had Peter go down with me to drop those off. Grandma is more particular to guys than she is with girls. She was so ecstatic to see Peter again. She kept trying to invite us over for lunch but I kept reminding Peter that we had more houses to deliver to.

" Peter it's so good to see you again!" Grandma hugged Peter first before me

" It's good to see you again too Nana Covey." Peter hugged her back

" Peter please, Call me Carol," She insisted " I've been telling Lara Jean to bring you by more often," No she has not

" I know, I know. I'm sorry I've just been so busy with school and lacrosse this season," Peter always knew how to talk to people. He's really good at small talk

" Please come inside you two I just made a pot of chili,"

" No it's okay Nana. Peter and I are kind of in a hurry. We have a few more houses to deliver to," Which isn't totally wrong on my part

" Are you sure?"

" Yeah I'm sorry but my mom wants me home before supper. But we'll be sure to stop by soon" Peter promised

" Okay now," Nana seemed pretty disappointed by this " Lara Jean you better scoop him up before anyone else has a chance to."

" Yes Nana," I said trying hard to hide my embarrassment. I can see Peter smirking in the background. Always smug Peter Kavinsky.

We said goodbye to grandma and headed back to the car. Not before she could hug us both and kiss Peter on the cheek. The whole drive home I kept teasing Peter about the affection he gets from older women.

" I should bring you around more often when I see her," I teased " You can take my grandma kisses for me,"

" Don't hate because your grandma loves me." Peter tries to act like her kissing him on the cheek doesn't bother him

" Oh obviously. All the women in my family do," I agreed

" I know I have that effect on Covey women," He grinned.

" What?!" I exclaimed.

" It's true. Not a single Covey girl dislikes me," He isn't wrong. Kitty is over the moon about him and even Margot says he's the perfect match for me. I shouldn't mention that the Song girls love him too, especially Haven.

"In your dreams," Still, I shouldn't give him the benefit of the doubt.

We went through that same routine when we went to Haven's house as well. Haven was the one that answered the door when we arrived. I remember when she found it hard to believe that I was dating, well at the time fake dating, Peter.

"Hey how's UVA? I was supposed to go there, but I chose to go to Wellesley instead!" Haven was standing at the doorway with the container of cookies in her hand

" You aren't really missing much. It's great and all, but I spend all my time at UNC. I'm planning on applying to their DPT program after undergrad ," Peter said as he pulled me closer to him

" Yeah, Well I got accepted there too," Haven and I aren't really close. She actually tries to compete with me for Margot's approval.

Haven continued to go on about how she got all A's and how she made it on the President's list. Peter was too nice to interrupt her while she was asking him all about his lacrosse schedule. She told him that she would try to attend a game if he were in ever in the Massachusetts area or when she comes back home during spring break.

" I'm really sorry about my cousin," I apologized as we were on our way home.

" It's fine Covey. Anything for your family" He smiled and took my hand in his. We drove back to the house after dropping the cookies off to Trina's parents place. I was going to hand Josh's to his when he got home. Payment for helping us with the snow project. No one was home when we arrived. I was about to text Margot when my cellphone pinged. It was a text from Margot.

 **Operation snow is all set to go. Be home in fifteen minutes.**

" So Margot and Kitty got the perfect Christmas present for Daddy and Trina,"

" Oh yeah? What did they get them?"

" They got them a new set of wine glasses,"

" That sounds good," Peter took a seat on the couch and patted the seat next to him for me to sit. He laid his head on my lap as soon as I took a seat next to him.

I'm so excited for our mountains trip," Peter looks so peaceful with his eyes closed on my lap.

" I am too. Maybe I can swing by the store sometime before our trip to pick up new snow boots."

" No need, it's not like we are going hiking"

" Well I want to anyways in case I need it for next time,"

" Lay with me Covey," Peter got up from my lap so he could make room for me to lay beside him. He held me closer to him and I turned to face him. We were so cramped on the couch, but I didn't care. I love being this close to Peter.

" You know I don't have to grab dinner with my family tonight since I'm going to spend all day with them tomorrow anyways," Peter planted a light kiss on my forehead. I love forehead kisses. They seem more intimate.

I shook my head and smiled at him " You may not need to but I want to spend some alone time with my family before Trina's side of the family comes over. Besides I still need to clean," I usually wouldn't say no to spending more time with Peter, but I need time to get to his apartment without him knowing later.

" Fine," He pouted " But just say the word and I'll be over in a heartbeat," Peter kissed me, open-mouth, before I could answer. This kiss was sweet yet urgent at the same time. Probably because he knew my family could be home any minute. His hands were tracing circles on my waist before making their way up under my shirt. My hands snaked their way to his hair, running my fingers through his soft curls. I could feel my heart palpitating inside of my chest.

" Peter," I moaned quietly. He lips left mine and started nipping at my exposed collarbone.

" We're Back!" Kitty busted through the door with Margot not that far behind her, causing me to roll off the couch before she could see where Peter's hands were. I heard Peter cursing under his breath due to the mini heart-attack Kitty gave us. Margot gave me a look saying _I know what you are doing._

" What are you doing?" She asked giving me a weird look

"We were taking a nap before you rudely woke us up." I fibbed.

"Uh huh. Anyways, Are you staying over for dinner Peter?"

" I actually have to go right now," Peter seemed a little frustrated, but by the outline of his pants I could see why.

" Aw but we just got back," Kitty whined

" Kitty it's Christmas Eve. Peter has to spend time with his family," Margot interjected.

" Don't worry kid. Just say the word and I'll come straight back," Peter flashed her his best Peter grin.

" Oh you know I will,"

" Let me walk Peter out," I grabbed his hand and lead him to the door. He called out goodbyes to both of my sister before the door shut. Peter and I just left out awkward laughs once we were alone

" Well that was close," Peter scratched the back of his head. I don't know what he would have done if anyone saw what I saw

" Next time no making out on the couch," He couldn't agree more. We don't want another run-in.

Peter kissed me good bye and headed back to his house. I took advantage of the time to help Margot and Kitty clean-up for tomorrow. Margot wanted to host our recital party tomorrow. She said that it would make it just the more special having it on Christmas day. Trina and Daddy couldn't agree more with her. Margot was in charge of cooking, I was in charge of cleaning downstairs and Kitty was in charge of cleaning upstairs. Now that she is twelve she doesn't have the " I'm the littlest" excuse anymore. It took her twice as long because she was distracted with Jamie-Foxx Pickle and Simone. When Trina got home she helped Margot out in the kitchen. They wanted to get all the cooking done now so that all they have to do tomorrow is heat everything up on the stove. Trina's parents were coming over for lunch time and Trina didn't want to wake up a seven am to cook. Funny coming for a girl that will wake up that early to go hiking with Daddy.

" Daddy do you think I can break curfew just this once," I asked him as we were having dinner. We managed to get most of the cleaning done before dinner thankfully. With how tired Margot and Trina were cooking for tomorrow, Daddy stop by to get take-out Chinese after work.

" Can I ask what for?" Daddy was about to stuff a fork full of shrimp low mein.

" Well Peter and I are doing our gift exchange after dinner today and since we won't be able to see him tomorrow I was wondering if I could stay over at his place,"

Daddy seemed really uncomfortable for him. How do you react when your daughter asks you if she can sleepover at her boyfriend's house.

"I don't think that is a good idea sweetheart,"

I bit my lip. I had a feeling that was the response that he was going to give me.

"Dan she's going to the mountains with him and his friends New Year's Eve. It's practically the same thing," Thank god Trina understands

" That's different though. There will be other girls. This time it's just going to be the two of them,"

" Daddy I know what you are thinking, but Lara Jean is more mature than you think. I think you can trust her not to do anything," Margot sided.

" Dad I'm twenty now! I have my own apartment at Chapel Hill. I'm mature enough not to do anything stupid" I begged him

" I know that Lara Jean, but you never know in certain situations. I don't mind extending your curfew, but I'm not comfortable with you sleeping over at his place yet." I know what he's getting at, but it's not like we are going to do what he's thinking of.

" Dad it's not what you are thinking!" I exclaimed growing pink. " Trust me dad. I'm still a virgin,"

This time it was dad's turn to go pink. Kitty and Margot couldn't help to burst into laughter at my outburst " Gah okay, okay. If I let you go can we end this conversation? ," For a Gynecologist Daddy gets so uncomfortable talking to us about our sex life. Not like we would want to go to him for it.

 **Dinner is so boring omg. I wish I was having dinner with your family instead. I have to drop by my apartment before heading to your place. Give me about 45 minutes?**

I giggled at Peter's text. I was getting ready to head over his place when he texted me.

 **I wish you could have come over too, but you have to stay in your mom's good graces or she might make you work the whole winter break. That's fine take your time!**

I was putting the finishing touches of my make-up. I just opted for a light cat eye and some mascara. I didn't want to do a whole lot with my make-up since it was Peter and he prefers the subtle look. I donned a big cream sweater long enough to be a dress on me, red stockings and black pumps. I decided to wear my hair down for the sexy appeal. _Okay it's show time_ I thought to myself.

" Who the hell is in-," I could hear Peter say as he got in my room. He had no idea that I was going to be here. I arrived her twenty minutes before he did. Kitty and Margot taped metallic snowflakes dangling from the ceiling and Owen helped Josh set up the projector, the fans, and the fake snow. Josh pointed the projector to where it would project a video of snow falling on his back wall behind the bed. I had a hard time deciding which way I was going to sit while waiting for him. I didn't want him to think I was seducing him. I opted on just sitting up against the bed post and stretching my legs crossed and out in front of me

" Merry Christmas," I said sweetly and smiled up at him. He looked so shocked and confused at the same time. " You said how you always wanted to see snow on Christmas so I decided to bring the snow to you," I crawled to the edge of the bed to meet him. I got on my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck.

" How in the hell did you do this?" Peter let out a laugh finally finding his speech

" I had a little help from my elves. And I also got the idea from Gossip Girl." I mumbled that last part. I definitely owe them big time for helping me with this project. " Do you like it?" I know this will be a headache cleaning up, which I was going to do tomorrow morning.

" I love it. Thank you so much," Peter said putting his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him. " This is the best present ever,"

" My dad said I can spend the night. One time deal only,"

Peter grinned at this " Oh yeah? And what do you have planned for tonight?"

I closed the distance between us and kissed him. I was hungry for him especially after our kiss from earlier. I tried pulling closer to me, leading him to join me on the bed. He laid me down on the bed gently and looked deep into my eyes.

" I love you so much Lara Jean," He said lovingly and kissed me again.

" I love you too Peter," I breathed in between kisses. Here we are, Me on Peter's bed, us together making out. I thought about all the things we could do as he's trailing kisses on my neck and collarbone. He rolled both of us over so that I was on top of him. One of his hands was at the small of my back while the other one was inching down towards my butt. I jumped a little as soon as his hand gripped one cheek

" Is this okay?" Peter asked scared that he might have upset me. I nodded my head and breathed " Yeah it's fine. I just wasn't expecting it". Peter didn't kiss me right away but he kept staring at me as if he was waiting for the go signal again. Ever since the night of Beach Week, Peter and I have had this on and off sexual tension every time we were in bed together. It was either every time I wanted more, he didn't and vice versa. But tonight it was him that wanted more.

" Peter," I said cupping his cheek and kissing his lightly on the lips "It's okay, I promise. It' actually felt kind of nice," That was my signal. He brought his lips back on mine in no time. Our tongues danced together as our hunger for each other was increasing. I could feel him growing harder under me and I giggled at the thought of that. He must have sensed it too.

" You have no idea how bad I want you right now Covey," he growled. He gave me that smouldering look that I love so much. It's so hard to say no when he gives me this look. A part of me wants to give in, because I do. I do want to have sex with him.

" You have me, All of me," I breathed.

I woke up the next morning on top of Peter's bare chest. Peter was still sound asleep, one arm at his side and the other arm was holding me to him. Last night with Peter was definitely a big step in our intimate relationship. He was so patient with me every time I flinched or when I got too scared at the end as soon as all my clothes were off. He held me the whole night reassuring me that it was okay and he wouldn't push it further until I made the first move.

I looked around the room and for a split second, I forgot how much of a mess we made last night. Besides Peter's shirt and my sweater all over the floor was all the fake snow from last night. I got out of bed and reached for my sweater to put on. I groaned to myself again. I really should have thought this through before realizing how much we would have had to clean up.

"Peter wake up," I shook him lightly. Rolled over to where his back was to me and groaned. " Five more minutes Covey,"

" I wish I could give you that but we have to clean up. Besides we have Christmas plans with our families today,"

" Fine," He whined and got up. I threw his shirt at him and smiled sweetly " Thank you," I leaned over to kiss his nose before we got up. I went over to Peter's closet to get the vacuum when Peter said " Hey Covey, how did you end making it snow?"

"Well I got the fake snow from-"

" No I meant really snow," I gestured for me to look out the window with him. There it was, thousands of little snowflakes falling on the ground.

" Like I said, I got a little help from my elves," I grinned at him

" Merry Christmas Covey" He pulled me closer to his side and kissed me ligtly

" Merry Christmas Peter"

* * *

I went to my mirror to check my outfit out. It was New Year's Eve and Peter has convinced me to go the mountains with some of his Lacrosse teammates for the night. I opted on wearing a green flannel, black fleeced leggings, and the new rain boots that Peter bought me for Christmas. I've met Peter's teammates a few times and got along with them just fine. It's just hanging out with their girlfriends that's going to scare me. I've only really had a few good girl friends. I'm really hoping that I will get along with them.

Peter surprised me by getting us mocha sugar donuts and two cups of coffee for the road. Daddy and Trina were thrilled when I told them about the trip. The drive there would take three hours to get there. I always loved road trips with Peter. Peter and I were holding hands while he was driving. I loved riding in the car while he drives. It's very relaxing just staring at the scenery we pass by. Especially now while we still had left over snow from the blizzard we got from Christmas. Peter and I made a Spotify playlist for every time we were on the road together. I had Taylor Swift, Camilla Cabello and BTS on it while Peter added his country music. I tried getting him to listen to my music and vice versa, but on long road trips we treat it as background noise as we drive.

" I'm so excited you agreed to go on this trip with me Covey," He said stealing a glance at me. We were stuck in holiday traffic.

" I'm very excited too!" I looked up from the book I was reading and smiled at him

" Only Lara Jean Covey would bring a book on a getaway." Peter rolled his eyes at me

" I only brought it to read on the drive to and from the cabin," I mostly brought the book just in case I didn't get along with his teammates girlfriends.

Peter had to use the bathroom every 45 minutes due to the coffee. Luckily for him we had to stop to get gas anyways. I didn't even realize that I fell asleep until Peter was shaking me awake.

" Hey Lara Jean we are here," He kissed me awake.

I looked around and was expecting to see a cabin but all I could see was a ski resort. The same exact one that we went to junior year. All of a sudden memories of Peter being mad at me, the hot tub video, and Genevieve came flooding back to me. I could feel panic creep inside of me and a little bit of anger. He seemed like he was affected by this video as well. Was he sensitized to it that he doesn't care how this will affect me.

" Peter why are we here?" I demanded. " You know this place brings back bad memories to me," Senior year we didn't attend the school's annual ski trip because of how traumatized I was of that video. Especially since some of the faculty have seen that video I'm sure they would have been more strict with the chaperones.

" I know Lara Jean but let me explain!" Peter's eyes widen with panic. He tried holding close to him but I pushed him away. Tears were forming in my eyes threatening to escape.

" What happened to spending the night in a lob cabin with your teammates?"

" I lied about that part. But you wouldn't have come if I told you were we were really going "

" Peter Kavinsky I'm so furious with you right now," I stomped my foot." How could you do this to me?" I tried to leave but Peter grabbed my hand so I wouldn't

" Where are you going to go then?" he pleaded with his eyes

" I don't know, but I don't want to talk to you right now," I refused to look at him right now. I have too much anxiety to think straight right now

"Please Lara Jean. Let's just go to our room, get settled in and I'll explain everything to you,"

I shook my head and took my bookbag. " You go. I'm going to go to the lobby and finish my book" I walked off leaving him at the car with the rest of our stuff.

Why couldn't Peter be honest with me about this? Granted if he told me where we were really going I'm not sure I would actually say yes to it. I pulled out my phone and decided to call Margot. She'll know what to say and how to react to this.

" Lara Jean is everything okay?" Margot asked worried

" Not really… Peter took me to the same exact resort that the video happened at," I tried so hard to hide the fact that I was just crying.

" Lara Jean why are you crying?" Margot can hear the break in my voice

" Because I didn't think I would have to come back here. Not this soon at least."

" I know what you are thinking, but I think he has good intentions on doing so," She reassured me.

" If he really understood me at all he would know not to take me here,"

" Listen to me Lara Jean. How long has it been since that video,"

"Two years,"

"And when was the last time someone brought that video up"

" The end of junior year…"

" You were still able to get into an amazing school and all of Peter's video from anonybitch didn't prevent him from getting his lacrosse scholarship. That and after all that has happened since the video Peter is still with you and your relationship is still going very strong,"

" I guess so," I began before Margot cut me off

" Lara Jean the only person that is still bringing it up is you. I know you aren't over it. But don't you think that maybe it's time to put that video behind you?"

" Yeah.. but,"

" Not but's Lara Jean. Listen, Peter has his reasons on why he brought you there. Hear him out please,"

" Fine I will. Thank you Gogo," I'm so grateful Margot was home for the holidays. It makes crisis calls so much easier.

" Now go have fun! Bye"

" Bye Gogo,"

After giving it much thought that had some good moments to it too. Peter did admit that he liked me during that trip. This trip would have been perfect if it wasn't for that video. I smiled to myself thinking about that memory. I have to find Peter, I really need to apologize for how I acted. I looked around the lobby hoping that I could find Peter. I had ignored all his texts and calls while I was on the phone with Margot. I finally spotted him heading down the stairs. All of a sudden this feels like de-ja-vu all over again.

" Peter!" I called out as I ran to meet him at the end of the staircase

" I'm so sorry," We both said at the same time and laughed.

" I'm really sorry for the way I reacted. I should have heard you out before jumping to conclusions"

" No, I should have told you from the start what we were doing. I know how sensitive you are about that weekend" He hugged me and kissed me on the head.

" It's fine Peter really. I realized while I was alone," well on the phone with Margot " that it's time to put that weekend in the past. We way different people now and it didn't affect us from getting to where we are at now,"

" I'm really glad to hear you say that Covey. I think It's time I tell you the main reason why I brought you here in the first place. I knew how much that weekend bothered you and I definitely didn't help out at first. I actually talked to Margot about it,"

"You talked to Margot about it?" I asked in utter shock

" She was actually the one who helped me find a Groupon to plan this out. Along with our parents,"

" You talked to our parents about that trip?"

" No! Not like that Covey! I just asked them if they could help shelter some of the expenses on the trip. Anyways, I apologized to Margot for making you feel this way and making you go through all you did with that video and I told her I wanted to make it up to you. She told me that I should have a redo trip. She suggested we should do everything this trip that we wish we could have done in our last trip. That's why I started the trip out with the mocha sugar donuts. I was going to teach you how to snowboard and buy you that hot chocolate I promised you two years ago,"

" You did this all for me?" I asked speechless. Peter, my Peter, went through all the trouble and hate that the video sparked for us. He's done so much for me just to make sure I'm happy and secure with everything.

" I did this for us. But only if it's okay with you,"

" So how about that hot chocolate you owe me" I grinned confirming our plans

" First let's see how you are on the Black Diamond,"

Peter and I spent most of the morning teaching me how to snowboard. He couldn't help but laugh when I could fasten my boot on the board. I practically had to jump on the board to secure it. Peter, as well as our instructor, Connor, were very patient with teaching me how to snowboard. We stayed on the mini practice hill, with me holding on to Peter the whole time, until I was brave enough to face the bunny slope.

" You did really good your first try!" Peter and I returned back to the lodge to warm up.

"Yeah right. I wiped out like four times!"

" The only way to get better is to practice Covey," Peter ran his hair to get the rest of the snow out if it " Maybe one day you'll get as good as me,"

" Yeah right Peter. I'll stick to my two feet on the ground " I rolled my eyes. It wasn't too bad though. After the fourth wipe out I opted to just wait at the bottom of the hill for Peter. He didn't stay on the Black Diamond as long as he wanted to, but he insisted that he was fine. We went to the café and ordered two hot chocolates

" You're right this is the best hot cocoa," I burnt my tongue earlier sipping it. I couldn't help it. It's really good

" See?" Peter and I stayed in the lobby and talked about what we were expecting for the new semester. Next semester would be the real test of our relationship. Peter has to be back to school on the third of January. Although his school is still on break, the student athletes have to return to practice for the upcoming season.

" So what next on Lara Jean's and Peter's redo ski trip?" I asked him sipping on the last of my hot cocoa.

" Hm I heard that there is a New Year's Eve party they are hosting in the lobby. But that isn't until later. I'm actually pretty hungry right now. Mind if we eat first?"

I didn't realize how hungry I was until we got to the restaurant. Peter ordered a burger while I ordered grilled cheese. We both shared a chocolate shake and French fries. " How about after dinner we relax in the room a bit then head to the hot tub?" Peter asked watching me cautiously for my reaction. This is the true test. If I can be in the hot tub with Peter without having a panic attack then I can truly put that ski trip behind me.

" I didn't pack a swimsuit because I didn't think I would be needing one." Jokingly throwing shade at Peter.

" Just check your duffle bag Covey," He was right. When I dug through my bathing suit and a note taped to it.

 **Have fun! -Gogo and Kitten**

So my whole family was in on this trip besides me? I'm so going to get them for this. I took a deep breath as I was checking myself out in the bathroom mirror. _Breath LJ. You got this_. I grabbed the robe, complimentary of the ski resort, and met Peter out in our room

" I'm ready," I confirmed. Peter and I held hands as we headed down towards the hot tub. We weren't the only ones that had this idea. There were a few people already there by the time we got there. Thankfully we are in public, not a lot can be done in public. Besides, Peter knows how I am with PDA. I stayed close to Peter when we were in to make more room for anyone else that wanted to go in. I will admit, the warm water felt very relaxing with the breeze in the air.

" How are you feeling?" Peter whispered in my ear. He had his arm over me, holding me close to him

" I'm okay,"

" I'm kind of missing the Amish bikini,"

" Oh hush Kavinsky," I splashed him causing me to splash some of the people around us. " Sorry," They weren't too happy with that. As it was getting closer to ten people were making their way out of the jacuzzi so they could get ready for the lobby party. Eventually it was only Peter and I left. I started to feel an ounce of panic in my voice. It's silly for me to have PTSD about that night in the hot tub, but no one realized that night was a first for me. Having something that was so special and intimate be exploited into something it was not.

" How are you feeling Covey?" Peter looked at me, searching my eyes for reassurance.

It was Peter's idea to bring a change of clothes with us to the hot tub so that we could come straight here afterwards. Kids and teens had their own separate party in a different room of the resort. The party was actually pretty nice. The whole place was decorated in black and gold for the occasion. They had a mini bar for wine and beer and a table full of finger food for us to ear. A bonfire was made outside for those wanting to make smores or enjoy the stars. " Five more minutes!" some from the lobby screamed out. There was so much commotion going on in the lobby of the resort. Everyone was scrambling to find their loved ones. The employees were handing out champagne to those over twenty one and poppers and noise makers to the kids. Peter grabbed both of us a champagne flute as we got settled back on couch. The best part about New Year's Eve is how hopeful and excited everyone is about a new start. This New Year's I vowed to myself to finally let go of the past and move on to a better future with my family and Peter.

"After everything we've been through today, I'm really glad we came here" I snuggled up closer to Peter

" Oh yeah? Well I'm glad you had fun,"

" It was exactly what I needed to put the past away."

" Let's make a New Year's resolution contract" Peter suggested. There was a table set to the side where the food was that had a bunch of pen and papers. They wanted all of us to write our resolutions and put it in the resolution jar. Once it's in the jar then you had to " fulfill" your resolutions.

" Okay let's do it! What should be on it?"

Peter grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen from the resolution table and we started writing down our new year's resolution.

Peter's and Lara Jean's New Year's Resolution

Lara Jean will finally leave the hot tub video in the past

Peter will be more understanding to Lara Jean's sensitivity

Lara Jean will hear Peter out before getting mad at him

Peter will not trick Lara Jean into going somewhere again unless it's a good surprise

Peter and Lara Jean will promise to love each other more and more each day.

I folded the sheet of paper and put it in my pocket. Once I get home this will go in my hatbox. Peter has done so much to make up for that ski trip.

" One more minute!"

" I had one more resolution that I forgot to write down Covey,"

" Yeah what is it?"

" Ten.. Nine.. Eight.."

Peter and I were standing with everyone near the TV watching the ball getting ready to drop

" Five.. four.. three.. two"

" Peter Kavinsky will never let Lara Jean Covey go, no matter what,"

" One"

He spun me around and kissed me on the lips.

 _A/n: I hope you love this LJ and Peter heavy chapter! I had so much fun writing this chapter! First of all huge disclaimer on all of my Christmas ideas. Shout out to Gossip Girl for the idea of making it snow indoors. I'm not sure if any of you watched the first Christmas episode of Gossip Girl when Serena made it snow for Dan. I thought it was a really cute and inexpensive gift to do for Peter. The redo ski trip I thought of because I'm a hopeless romantic and I figured the real PK would do the same if he had the money for it lol. **Big shout out to lifeofillusions.** She inspired me in some of my chapters._

 _Lol please don't hate me for LJ teasing Peter for sex, but this is a flashback chapter !_

 _I really hope you all have a happy holidays! I've been really enjoying writing this story and the sweet reviews that you have left. It's been one hell of a week and today my sister and I missed our flight to go to Texas because the line for checking in our suitcase in was hella long. So here I am with only two hours of sleep typing for you guys lol. But I'm here now! It may be a week or so until I update next but please be patient with me. Feedback time! Tell me what you guys think of this chapter and what you want to expect for the next chapter._


	6. Chapter 6

_A/n: HERE IS THE COMPLETED CHAPTER! The other day I gave you guys a taste on what this chapter would look like. Well I did some tweaking to it, and now I have the chapter I really want you guys to read. It's a little different from the one I posted so I suggest read the whole thing so you won't get confused. I hope you guys like it!_

Margot is home from Scotland at last. Last week was her graduation day from St. Andrews University, Finishing with her bachelors in anthropology. She was the first of the Song/Covey grandkid to graduate college. The whole family flew to Scotland for the special occasion. Kitty, Trina, and I cheered our lungs out when they called her name out. I snuck a peak at Daddy as Margot was walking on the stage and I could have sworn I saw him wiping tears away from his eyes. Mommy would be so proud of Margot if she were here today.

It's been a week since the graduation and I still haven't told them the news yet. I didn't want to steal her thunder with my small news. Peter wasn't too happy with me when I told him that I ended up not telling her.

"Peter?"

" Yeah Covey?"

" I'm not sure if I want to tell them today,"

Peter and I were at his UVA apartment. Peter invited me to come over after training. Even though the season was over, student athletes still have to keep working out and training for the next season. Peter and I were laying on his bed still groggy from our nap. Peter more-so than me since he had to get up at 6 am.

" Why not?" Peter turned on his side so that he was facing me. I couldn't tell if he was upset or mad at me.

For weeks both Kitty and Peter have been going on about how I should tell them though, but timing was never on our side when it comes to telling Margot important news.

" I don't think it's a good idea right now. Margot just got back home and she just needs time to settle in," I said innocently, hoping to buy more time. "Besides her and Ravi just broke up. So I doubt that she wants to hear about how good our relationship is,"

Margot broke up with Ravi a few days before she left Scotland. It's been a week since she has last talked to him. This news took all of us by surprise. She seemed as if she was so in love with him. Her reason behind it was because she knew that she wanted to come back home and that he was going to stay in London. This is like when her and Josh were done for good. Peter and I had made up from our fake relationship. She was the biggest sister to let me talk about him while she was crying over Josh. I think it's because she didn't want to repeat the same relationship with Josh.

"Bullshit" Peter called me out.

" Peter!"

" I mean it Lara Jean. You're not chickening out because of how sad Margot is about her break up and you know it. We both know it's because you are afraid that Margot won't approve of it "

I tried to argue my case and deny that it wasn't true but I couldn't. I know Margot would eventually be happy for me, especially since it shows how much Peter and I love each other. But a part of me feels as if she would disapprove at the same time. Part of me feels guilty at the same time that my relationship with Peter has lasted longer than her relationships.

" What did Kitty say about secrets between the Song girls?" Peter raised his eyebrows at me. This boy needs to find a hobby. I don't think he should be holding onto the words of a thirteen year old.

" I know I know," I held my hands up in surrender to him " I'm just afraid of how she would react I guess. This is the same girl that wanted me to be single in college."

" We have been together for three years Covey and you are still scared to tell your sister stuff about us,"

" That is so not true!" I barked back defensively

" Fine, Tell her tonight at dinner," Peter grin. Boy do I want to rip that grin off of his face. I love him, but I hate when he always tries to be right.

" Fine tonight at dinner," I accepted the challenge.

" It'll be fine Covey. Besides your sisters love me," He widened his grin

" Yeah I know. Sometimes I feel as if they love you a little too much" I rolled my eyes at him.

" Not as much as you love me though," Peter wrapped his arms around me and kissed me, open mouth.

" I love you even more without your shirt on," I grinned against his lips, getting up and straddling him.

* * *

Peter and I were on the way home after spending the afternoon together. Peter was spending the weekend at his house for the weekend so he was more than willing to drop me off home.

" Thank you for coming over Covey," Peter put the car on park. He leaned over from his side to kiss me.

" Thanks for having me over," I kissed him back and smiled

" Don't forget tonight," He winked and squeezed my leg

" Yes sir," I saluted him

" No but really, call me afterwards and let me know how it goes okay?" He asked me and I nodded.

" I promise," I said goodbye to Peter and made my way in the house. Trina and Daddy were in the kitchen cooking and setting up for dinner. We were having baked chicken and salad tonight. Trina tried to convince the family to eat healthier. So we are eating lean meat and vegetables until the beach, so Trina could be beach-body ready.

" Hey LJ!" Trina called out to me

"Did Peter already leave? I was going to ask him to stay for dinner" Dad seemed a little disappointed that Peter didn't want to stay over for dinner.

" Oh yeah He promised his mom that he would have dinner with them tonight. He's going to be staying home all weekend so he has plenty of time to come over for dinner,"

" Did I hear that Peter was coming over for dinner?" Margot asked.

Her and Kitty made their way downstairs for dinner. Seeing Margot made my stomach do flips inside of myself.

" Uh no, I mean he's really busy with family stuff and he has to wake up early for conditioning tomorrow," I have to keep my voice under control. My hand made its way to my necklace just to make sure the ring was there. I promised Peter that I was going to tell them today, so I have to.

" Um okay, just asking." Margot was eying me warily. " Do you guys need help setting the table?" Margot asked Daddy and Trina.

" Yeah you can help set up the table," Trina called from the oven.

I'm so glad that to have the whole family home again. At least until Margot moves to Georgetown to start her new life. The family is happy that she's only going to be two hours away instead of a continent away. Kitty was picking at her salad and Margot was telling Daddy and Trina about the apartment she found closed to campus.

I heard my phone vibrate in my pocket letting me know I have a text. I at my phone under the table to read the text from Peter.

 **Good luck telling them Covey! I have faith in you.**

He added the kissy face emoji along with it. He's such a dork. His message gave me the courage to bring the topic up.

" So remember how mine and Peter's anniversary was last month?" I brought up

" Didn't you say Peter took you to the spot where he told you he liked you?" Daddy asked. It was an unspoken fact that we weren't going to tell them the real way Peter and I got together. Our cover story is the car accident story I told our friends. Margot and Kitty agreed they would keep the letters a secret to save face for both of us.

" Yeah that's it. Well I lied to you about one little detail about that night," I should've chose my words wisely because I could see beads of sweat threatening to escape Daddy's forehead. " It's not what you think! I just didn't tell you what Peter actually gave me."

Everyone was watching me carefully as I reached for the ring from under my shirt so that it could lay on my chest. The shine of the emerald glinted as the light hit it. It took them a few seconds to realize that the ring wasn't a pendant.

" Is that?" Daddy started

" An engagement ring?!" Margot finished

" A w-what?" Daddy asked

Daddy went into total shock, Margot gasped, and Trina was looking back forth between daddy and Margot to see who was going to speak first. Kitty had a grin on her face the whole time. She was finding this whole situation amusing. My heart felt as if it stopped beating. This was the longest anyone has gone without talking. The tension in the room was so thick that you would need Daddy's electric carver to cut it.

" Lara Jean is there something you aren't telling us?" He's giving me a stern look. His eyes go from mine to the ring as if he's trying to figure out what's going on. After a few seconds, they widen in fear. Oh no, he's thinking of the worst "Are you pregnant?"

" No, no! Why is everyone assuming that?! it's just a promise ring!" This was the exact reaction I was expecting from them. Another reason why I didn't want to tell them when we were in Scotland.

Kitty had the same reaction Owen did when Peter's mom said the same exact thing. She was holding her stomach while cackling like a hyena.

" Kitty this is not a funny matter," Trina was trying to make sure that she wasn't trying to make it work

" Relax Tree! It's not like she's actually pregnant Lara Jean is as virgin as they could be,"

" What is that even supposed to me?!" I groaned at her

" Katherine!" Trina yelled

" Kitty, I'm warning you. Lara Jean don't scare us like that," Daddy left out the breath he was holding and massaging his temples.

The only one that hasn't said anything was Margot. My eyes kept wandering to her to see her reaction. She set her fork and knife down and took a deep breath, carefully deciding on what she should say.

" Can I see it?" She speaks alas. She has a smile on her face, but it doesn't reach her eyes. Her eyes are bright, but sad at the same time. I reached my hand out for the ring and placed in Margot's hand. Taking it in between her pointer finger and thumb, she brought ring to her face to a better view.

Feeling for the clasp, I unclasped my necklace and let the ring slip out the chain. Although I took the necklace off, it still feels as if there was something heavy on my chest. I handed Trina the necklace so that her and Daddy could take a closer look at it.

" It's a beautiful ring," Trina was doing her best to break the ice.

" Thank you Trina," I'm glad not everyone was upset by this.

" I think it's quite romantic," Kitty chimed " I hope that one day when I get a boyfriend that he would get me something just as nice, maybe even bigger,"

" Woah woah woah woah. Who says anything about you dating?" Daddy was flabbergasted.

" I'm not talking about now!" I'm sure when Kitty finds a guy she wants to be with, she will tell her exactly what she wants in the relationship. Kitty would definitely be the one to wear the pants in the relationship.

" Trina's right, it is beautiful," Margot handed the ring back to me.

" Thank you," I said quietly and put the ring on my right hand. I don't want people getting the wrong idea.

" But isn't it a bit much?"

" What do you mean?" I asked alarmed by the turn of this conversation

" Don't you think junior year is a little too soon to be settling down," I could tell by Margot spoke louder, showing the hurt in her voice

" Who said anything about settling down?"

" The ring does!" Margot got up

" It's a promise ring ! It's not as if we are going to go get married any time soon," This conversation was making me nauseous. Right now I'm just trying to get through junior year. I don't even think about Peter and I getting married any time soon.

" Sure it starts out as a promise ring now, but before you know it you and Peter will be graduating undergrad and Peter is going to propose to you for real and then ten years later you'll be married with four kids, not even thinking about getting a Master's degree. Or he could propose in a year or two and accidentally get you pregnant while you are in college"

"Margot!" Daddy butted in. Darn Margot and her statistics. Just because she had to take a psychology class in college, doesn't mean she knows all about how the human mind thinks.

"Margot what are you talking about?! I'm not even thinking that far ahead!" I'm pretty sure Peter would have a mini stroke if he had heard that coming out of her mouth. Sure we talk about the future, but that's talking about where we want to work after college. Not how many children we are going to have. " Besides! Mommy and Daddy got married while Daddy was in grad school and our family turned out fine," I shot back at her. Mommy and Daddy met and fell in love when they were mine and Peter's age. Daddy even told me he wanted to marry Mommy after their junior year of college.

" But you guys aren't Mommy and Daddy!"

" Margot!"

" What is that supposed to mean?!" I got up and slammed my hands on the table, glaring daggers at her

" Times were different back then. Mommy and Daddy were so sure of what they want when Daddy proposed to her. Mommy knew what she wanted before Daddy proposed to her. But what about you? Do you know what you want?" She challenged me

" Yes! I do know what I want. I've done a lot of growing up since you've left for Scotland. But you've been too stubborn to see that,"

" Because you are acting like a child right now," She yelled at me

" You are the one acting like more of a child than Kitty is right now! At least she was happy for me when I told her. This was the main reason why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you would act this way,"

" Well maybe because you didn't wait a whole fucking month to tell her like you did with me." Margot took her plate " I think I'm done with dinner," She ended up taking her left over food and putting the rest in the trash. She put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher and headed for the stairs. Before going up, she just gave me a cold look.

" Want know what I want Lara Jean? I want a sister that doesn't keep, big important things from me. I expected more from you," With that she left, leaving me crushed.

The whole dinner table was silent after Margot left. Everyone's plate was half-full. After the fight no one had an appetite to finish their food.

" Should we go talk to her?" I heard Trina asked Daddy as they were loading the dish washer before tuning them out. I didn't want to hear anymore. I was so sad and angry at the same time. The last thing I needed was them butting in, trying to fix things. So I decided to go up to my room, I needed to be alone.

I had to keep my composure while at dinner, I didn't want them to know that it was affecting me this much. Especially since I'm older and I could make my own decisions. As soon as I got to my room I plopped on my bed and cried . I was holding in so much of my emotions lately, especially since I hid this ring from my family for a whole month. Maybe I should have told them as soon as I got it. Maybe Margot wouldn't be so mad.

It might have been twenty minutes, or even forty-five minutes before I heard a tap on my window. I wiped the tears out of my eyes with the back of my hand. I already know who it is. I haven't talked to Peter since before dinner. He always climbs up my window to check up me when he gets super worried. I tried my best to make it look like I wasn't crying just now. I pulled the curtains away from my window before opening it.

" Hey Rabbit eyes," Peter greeted me. " Kitty called me and told me what happened,"

He climbed through my window and pulled me into one of his infamous bear hugs. I buried my face in his chest. He just showered, I could smell his Irish springs soap on him. I couldn't help but start crying again. I always cry whenever he makes me feel so sad and vulnerable.

" Shh. It's okay Covey," Peter rubbed my back trying to soothe me.

We both made our way to the bed. He held me close and waited patiently until I was done crying to tell him what happened. I told him how everyone almost freaked out on me and how mad Margot was at me.

" It's not fair," I muttered, my face still buried in his chest " I thought she would be happy for me."

" So she hasn't talked to you since dinner?" He asked

I shook my head " She wouldn't look at me in the eye after I showed her the ring"

" Do you think she's jealous?" I looked at Peter to see if he was serious or not.

" What would Margot be jealous of? She's beautiful and smart and she could have any guy that she wants to," It's true. Everyone always favored Margot. Haven was always seeking for Margot's approval for everything. Even Josh chose Margot over me.

" Think about it Covey. Margot has had two relationships in her life: Josh and Ravi. How many of them have lasted?"

He does have a point. Margot always broke up her relationships when she knew she was going to leave. As much as Margot loved Europe and Ravi, her home was here. Ravi asked her to move in with him in London a month before graduating. She was nursing on the decision for the longest time. What stopped her was getting accepted into Georgetown University. But Margot didn't break up with them because they had problems. She broke up with them because she didn't want the burden of a long distance relationship.

" But it's not like our relationship is perfect,"

" No it's not, but we work with it. And we make it work." Peter took my hands and looked at me. His caramel eyes softening as I stare back at it.

" I still don't think she's jealous of us either. It's not like we are going to run off and get married,"

" But it's the promise of a potential future together,"

" I guess," I shrugged

I'm too upset to think about the future right now. It's not fair for me to think about a happy future with Peter when I'm fighting with Margot like this. I don't get what's so bad. I'm an adult now. I've been able to fend for myself in college now. I was her age when her and Ravi were practically living together in college. I bet if she were still with him, she would be happier for me

" What are you thinking of Covey?" Peter asked me, lifting my chin for me to look at him.

" Everything and nothing," I stated " I hate that I'm fighting with Margot. I'm old enough to know what I want for my future and make my own decisions,"

" Give her time. I'm sure she'll come and apologize to you soon," He placed a small kiss on my head

" Do you need me to stay over tonight?" Peter asked me yawning

" You better not. Daddy is working tomorrow. I'm afraid you won't wake up on time to sneak out," I'm also feeling a little guilty about having Peter over after spilling the news about the ring. I'm sure Daddy is going to be even more strict about alone time with Peter.

" Can I at least stay for another fifteen minutes?" He pouted

" Okay, but leave when I fall asleep," I yawned and closed my eyes

* * *

The next morning was one of the worst mornings I've had in a while. I woke up early to make breakfast for me, Margot and Kitty. I made French toast topped with strawberries that Margot loved. I made sure to set hers aside, waiting for her when she wakes up. I made sure I made a whole wheat batch for Trina . Kitty and Trina woke up thirty minutes after I did. They were very thankful for breakfast. When Margot woke up I was washing dishes.

" Lara Jean made French toast for us," Trina said putting a fork full for toast in her mouth

" That was nice of her," Margot said but her voice didn't really mean it. She was eyeing the ring on my finger. After telling them and getting Trina's approval, I was proudly wearing my ring.

" She made you some," Trina pushed the plate closer to Margot.

" It's okay. I'm going to make a smoothie instead." Margot rejected. Ouch. Not even her favorite breakfast could fix this. I bit my lip trying not to show how upset I was.

" Alright, I'll just wrap it and save it for Peter then," I said taking the plate to put the French toast in aluminum foil

Margot rolled her eyes at that and muttered to herself "Of course you would give it to him instead of your own family,"

" What was that?"

" Oh nothing," Margot said and started the blender.

She has no right to be bitter right now. I told her about the ring. Everyone else is fine with it, why couldn't she? I took my plate of French toast and ate it far away from her. I took my phone out to text Peter

 **Margot is still pissed. The french toast didn't even work on her. Can I come over in a little bit? I don't want the french toast to go to waste.**

Margot finished making her smoothie and sat at the far end of the breakfast bar. She was trying her best to avoid looking at me. It's okay, I was paying attention to my phone waiting for Peter to text back. After five minutes Peter replied: **You had me at French toast**

After breakfast, I cleaned my plate and sat it in the dish washer. Trina and Kitty had plans to walk the dogs in a little bit. Meaning Trina probably bribed Kitty to go with her.

" Do you want to join us Lara Jean?" Trina asked

" I'm actually about to head to Peter's in a little bit. Don't want the French toast to go to waste," I jabbed at Margot " Peter's on a diet for training, but he has a weakness for my French toast,"

" Yeah Lara Jean is a little too busy to spend time with her boyfriend to hang with us now," Margot jabbed back

" Margot. Shut up," I'm getting really tired of Margot treating me like I'm her kid sister still. Especially with how rude she's being right now. If this is how Scotland has changed her, then I don't want any part of it. Margot looked at me appalled. No one in this family had the guts to stand up to her. Well not anymore. If college has taught me one thing, it's to stand up for myself with people push you around.

Peter was so happy that I brought him French toast.

" Yum yum yum," He rang out as he downed the food. I love how dorky and happy he gets when he's enjoying his food. It was cheat day for him from his diet. On cheat day he loves to go all out

" I swear Covey, when we live together you are going to make me so fucking fat with your cooking," He washed his toast down with some black coffee

" When we what?" I laughed

" Well when we get done with undergrad, or if I get into UNC I was hoping we would be living together,"

" Um I would love to have been asked before assuming I would be your roommate," I rolled my eyes jokingly

" Ugh fine. Covey would you like to move in after undergrad?"

" Nah, I think I'm good,"

" Whatever you say Covey,"

I ended up spending the whole day at Peter's. There was no way that I want to be at home right now. Especially since the Margot drama is still fresh. Trina and Daddy kept texting me that I should talk to Margot. The best way to deal with a mad Margot is to wait for her to cool down, or for something dire to happen. Owen got the new Smash Brothers game on the switch and asked me and Peter to play with him. I played some games, but I really sucked at it. It ended up being just me watching Peter and Owen brawling it out through the video game. They kept cussing and calling each other " little bitch" when one would die. I had to pinch Peter at times when he would cuss too much

" Look who's being a little bitch now," Owen smirked after Peter yelped due to me pinching him

" I'm not afraid to pinch you too Owen," I threatened

" Peter tell your fiancé to stop flirting with me," Ugh why is everyone taking this ring thing so seriously?

" Shut up Owen," Peter shot back after killing Owen's character on the game.

I enjoyed hanging out with Peter and his brother. It's more care-free than hanging with girls sometimes. Owen is so much like Peter in so many ways. He's a little more blunt and rude than Peter, but Peter was like that when he didn't like me.

Mrs. Kavinsky was surprised to see me over so early. This was my first time seeing her since receiving the ring. I was so worried on how she would treat me, but she didn't make me feel unwelcomed. She even convinced me to stay over for dinner She cooked spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.

Mrs. Kavinsky wasn't too happy when Peter and I got back together during my dad's wedding. I remember that day all too well as a matter of fact. I was set to leave for college with Daddy when Mrs. Kavinsky called me to come over right before I left. Peter was at training when she had asked me to come over. I could still recall the look on Peter's face and how he had confronted her about trying to break us up again. He flooded the room with anger and fear at the same time.

" _What do you have against Lara Jean?" Peter demanded. Mrs. Kavinksy was going to answer but then Peter continued. " Lara Jean has done nothing but care for and love me ever since we became official. She's been such a positive influence for me ever since we started hanging out. She cares for me in a way that Gen never did. She's the reason why I gave dad another chance, even though he fucked it up. What is so wrong about me being with her?"_

 _Seeing the hurt in Peter's eyes made me want to cry for him. I don't want to be the reason why he's fighting with his mom._

" _Peter…" His mom started_

" _Stop comparing our relationship to yours and dad's relationship. Lara Jean isn't like dad,"_

" _Oh by the stories she told me she seemed exactly like your father,"_

 _What stories? Oh god. He told her about John Ambrose McClaren. I knew Peter was really close to his mom and that he has talked to her about our relationship some times, but I didn't think he would have told her everything!_

" _At least Lara Jean owned up and apologize," I could hear the bile in Peter's voice as he said that. His hands were clenched. What was worst was the effect that it had on his mom. Mrs. Kavinsky seemed as if she was completely broken. " Come on Lara Jean let's go," Peter grabbed my hand and walked out, with me following suit._

She was a lot friendlier towards me now that I have the ring than she was before I was a little hesitant with wearing the ring at first, but It would be rude not to wear it in front of her. Especially since the main reason that she knows is because Peter bought it from her shop. I wouldn't want to hear the wrath of Mrs. Kavinsky if she knew I wasn't wearing it the past few weeks. If she knew she would probably tell Peter that I wasn't as serious about him as he is about me. I definitely don't want that, especially after I just got back in her good graces.

" Lara Jean what does your family think about the ring?" Mrs. Kavinsky asked. " I think it's absolutely romantic that Peter would do something like that for a girl,"

Peter warned me that she would ask questions about it. You can count on Mrs. Kavinsky to dig anything up. I wouldn't doubt it if Peter told his mom that I didn't wear it in front of my family. My eyes kept staring back at the ring on my finger. This is the longest I have worn it. It really does look beautiful. I sigh quietly to myself. This is was the main reason I was so afraid to tell my family. I remember when Peter first gave me my heart necklace. Oh how I was so proud to show it off to Daddy and Kitty after getting it. But does a promise ring really have more depth to is than the necklace. They made it seem like I was giving myself away to Peter. Wasn't that the plan all along? I always knew I couldn't imagine my life without Peter. But is junior year a little too soon to be thinking about a huge commitment like this? I was starting to have heart palpitations just thinking about it.

" Oh Kitty loves it! She asked me if she could wear it at times," I said sheepishly. Even if Kitty did ask, I would never let her wear this ring.

" I remember when Peter wanted to buy the ring. My heart was about to jump out of chest because I thought he was going to propose to you or even got you pregnant," Mrs. Kavinksy laughed lightly.

" What?!" I said, at the same time Peter exclaimed " Mom!"

. Owen spurted out the water he was drinking and burst into a fit of laughter.

" Can it asshole!"

" Peter, language!" Mrs. Kavinsky warned her son

" It would be like you to knock up your girlfriend while in college. Can you imagine Peter with a child? Poor child,"

" Owen!"

" Mom chill. It's a joke," Owen said dryly

" At least I had girls falling for me when I was your age. Where's your girlfriend?"

Owen was about to throw his dinner roll at Peter before their mom interjected. " Owen Daniel Kavinsky you better not throw that roll at your brother," She ordered her youngest.

Peter smirked " Yeah Owen you don't want to be rude to guest," He mimics what his mom says every time Owen does something she deemed unacceptable in front of guest.

" Don't start with me Peter,"

" Yes mom," Peter hung is head down.

" Please boys, besides I want to talk to Lara Jean alone," Oh shit. I knew this was coming ever since Peter confronted her last month. She had been oddly nice to me since the fight she had. I was worried that I would have a call or an unexpected visit from her like when Peter was trying to transfer to UNC to be with me. I gave Peter a scared look and he gave me a urging, but reassuring look. This was definitely a set up.

" Come on Owen," Peter pulled Owen in a chokehold and dragged him up the stairs. I could hear Owen groaning and cussing at Peter. There I was in the kitchen with Mrs. Kavinsky, my nerves totally shot.

" So what did you want to talk about ?" I asked her.

" I want to talk to you about the fight Peter and I had last month" My heart started doing it's mini heart palpitation thing that it always does when I'm super nervous. This time I feel like it was so loud that Mrs. Kavinsky could hear it too " I just want to apologize to you. I haven't been as welcoming towards you and I just wanted to explain to you why I acted the way I acted,"

" You don't' have to apologize Mrs. Kavinsky," I started. I moved the seat that Peter was sitting at, getting closer to her " I get it. you are a mom of two boys and you are just worried about him. Especially with our relationship history, and his past with Gen, you have every right to be afraid of me breaking Peter's heart again,"

"Lara Jean can I tell you a story?"

" What story?"

" The real reason why I'm over protective of Peter,"

" It's okay Mrs. Kavinsky you don't have to say it if you don't want to,"

" No Lara Jean, you have to know," She began and took a deep breath " I'm not sure if Peter told you how Jeff, his father, and I met,"

I nodded. Peter told me that his parents met when they were our age. His dad was captain of the football team and his mom was the captain of the cheerleading team. It was a cliché, but that's how it was back then.

" Jeff was so handsome back then. All the girls were so in love with him." She left out a little laugh. I definitely believe it. When I first met Mr. Kavinsky I saw all of Peter's best qualities: His handsome, rugged looks, and his curly hair. The way she was describing him definitely describes how Peter is now.

" When I met Mr. Kavinsky for the first time at Peter's lacrosse I could tell Peter was his son. I definitely understand what you mean. He's very handsome. That's how all the girls were for Peter," I agreed.

" I felt so lucky that Jeff chose me to be his girlfriend. He took me everywhere: dances, parties, the movies. He always made sure to let everyone know that I was his girl.," The look Mrs. Kavinsky had in her eyes had a small spark in her eyes, mixed with sadness. " Our relationship was so good, until college. Jeff and I did the long distance thing for a while like you guys did. That's when Jeff met Noelle, his new wife."

My heart was breaking for Mrs. Kavinsky already. I reached for her hand and squeezed it. Her voice was breaking and her dabbed the corner of her eyes with her napkin. It was all making sense to me now. Why Mrs. Kavinsky wanted me to break up with Peter before going to college. She was afraid what happened to her would happen to Peter.

" Jeff didn't physically cheat on me with her when we were in college, but emotionally it felt as if he did. I gave him an ultimatum. It was either me or her. He broke off her friendship with her for a good while. Then the next decade seemed to go back to normal. He was as loving and he was in high school. He was an amazing father with Owen and Peter. He always went to their awards ceremonies and games. He was the best." She took another break, as she was going deeper and deeper into her story it was harder for her to talk.

" It's okay Mrs. Kavinsky. Take your time," I patted her hand

" Noelle found Jeff and I on Facebook. It's been ten years and she was engaged to someone so I thought she was harmless. She would sometimes like my stuff or comment on some of the family pictures we took. Jeff started to become more distant and was missing a lot of Peter's games. Peter was the one that actually caught them. He was using Jeff's laptop for research when she messaged him on Facebook. For two years they were messaging back and forth about how they wished they had remained friends and what would have become of them. Peter was furious and confronted him at the dinner table. I made Jeff move out that day," Mrs. Kavinsky had tears coming out from her eyes, but I wasn't sure it angry or sad tear. She reached for her napkin again to wipe her eyes " I'm sorry Lara Jean,"

What do you do when your boyfriend's mom starts breaking down in front of you? I did the only thing that I thought would be right. I pulled her closer to me and hugged her.

" I'm so sorry Mrs. Kavinsky," I rubbed her back and tried to soothe her.

" No, no let me apologize. I didn't think I would get this emotional. It's been a while since I told this story to anyone. This town is so small that anyone who knows Jeff and I already know what happened."

" Mrs. Kavinsky can I ask you something?" I asked her

" Yeah what is it Lara Jean?"

" How did your family react when you and Peter's dad got engaged,"

"My brother actually wanted to kill him. He didn't approve of Jeff from the start. His friendship with Noelle didn't help," She let out a small laugh " He actually said ' Why do you want to marry this scum," She added afterwards "Excuse my French"

" Margot wasn't too happy when I told her about my ring. We aren't even engaged and Margot is acting like I'm already giving myself away,"

" Older siblings get that way towards their younger siblings. Wouldn't you act the same way if it were Kitty?"

I nodded in response. Oh god I don't even want to think about Kitty with a boyfriend, let alone fiancé. She would be the type of person to tell everyone after she already got married. She knows Margot and I would kill her if that were to happen.

" Joey, my brother, understood that I loved Jeff and I was doing what was best for me. Give her time. Margot will come around," She reassured me and bit her lip. "But do you understand why I acted the way I acted when Peter told me you guys broke up?"

I nodded my head. I know exactly why she was bringing up this topic, especially in light of the ring news " How much has he told you?"

" He told me about your friend John Ambrose McClaren was it?" I figured that would come up in conversation. Especially after Peter confronted me at the cakewalk.

I bit my lip thinking on what to say next " That was so long ago. I haven't talked to John Ambrose in a long time. Besides, Peter knows how I feel about him,"

" I really like you Lara Jean, I do. You've showed Peter that you care about him over Genevieve. You are a smart, responsible girl that my son is crazy about" Mrs. Kavinsky squeezed my hand " but-" I took a deep breath and she continued, there was always a but " I need you to know that with this promise ring, Peter is already planning a future with you. I just ask that you really think about how you feel about Peter. If you really love him and can see yourself with him for the rest of your life, keep the ring. But if you have any doubts, I beg that you let Peter know. Just so that he doesn't have to go through the same heartache I did,"

" Mrs. Kavinsky you know that it was never my intention to hurt Peter back then," I apologized " I'm so sorry that Mr. Kavinsky hurt you in the past, but that's not how mine and Peter's relationship works. I love him with all of my heart, and we promised each other we would be honest with each other. As much as I see Peter in my future, we are still not thinking that far ahead right not. I'm still trying to get through undergrad right now," I assured her.

" Can you promise me something then?"

"Anything,"

" Always put your needs before his. I know he is my son and all, but you have to take care of yourself and love yourself before you can fully love someone else,"

" I promise Mrs. Kavinsky,"

"Thank you Lara Jean," She smiled a genuine smile at me. This was the first time I've seen the kindness of her smile reach her eyes towards me. Mrs. Kavinsky got up called her two sons down to help clear the table. My stomach was still feeling a little uneasy with the conversation I just had with Mrs. Kavinsky. How does a conversation go through three different moods. Seeing Peter come down the stairs made me forget the feeling in my stomach. Immediately I hugged him tightly when he approached me.

" How did the conversation go?" He asked me, burring his lips in my hair

" It was pretty interesting," I replied. I reminded myself to ask him about how he felt finding out about his dad emotionally cheating on his mom. Now I understand why he was always at Genevieve's beck and call when it came to her parents. They both experienced the same things with their dad.

I helped Peter and Mrs. Kavinsky clear the table until my dad called me to go home. I was still dreading going home. I know Daddy wants me to go home because he wants me to settle things with Margot. Peter was about to walk me out to my car, but I stopped him " I have to ask your mom something real quick,"

" Um okay," Peter said and raised his eyebrow at me

I walked over to the kitchen table where Mrs. Kavinksy was checking her inventory for the store.

" Thank you Mrs. Kavinsky," I said going up to her and hugging her

" Thank you for what?" She asked me looking confused

" For opening up to me about the divorce. I know that must have been really hard to do," I bit my lip.

" Of course, I figured it was best for you to hear it from me than from anyone else. Thank you for listening," She nodded

" For what it's worth, I think you are doing an amazing job raising Peter and Owen are your own. Peter is an amazing guy and is a total gentlemen. Mr. Kavinsky is missing out" I gave her a small smile.

" Thank you Lara Jean," She said grabbing my hand again and giving it a small squeeze. " Peter is very lucky to have a girl like you, but please don't forget what we talked about.

It was my turn to nod my head " I won't Mrs. Kavinsky. Thank you so much for having me over. I'll see you next time," I assured her.

" You're welcomed over any time," She has said this to me so many time, but this time it actually sounded genuine.

" I'll take you up on that offer, bye Mrs. Kavinsky,"

" Bye Lara Jean,"

I headed back to the door where Peter was standing and waiting for me.

" Everything okay?" He asked me still concerned

" Yeah I wanted to say bye to your mom," I said.

I looked up at Peter, my Peter. Having to stay strong for his mom during the divorce, having to witness the same thing Genevieve witnessed with her dad. For someone that doesn't have a strong male figure in his life, be the best male figure for his mom and Owen. His personality definitely doesn't suite his reputation. Getting on my tip-toes, I pulled him down to kiss him passionately, even if his mom was in the next room.

" What was that for Covey?" He asked confused, but with a small grin on his face.

" For being so amazing," I kissed his cheek " I'm going to try to work things out with Margot tonight,"

He cupped my face and gave me a genuine look " I know you guys will work things out. You guys can't stay mad at each other for too long," He kissed me on lips, full mouth before letting me leave.

Mrs. Kavinsky's conversation made me hopeful to make up with Margot tonight. It's hasn't even been a whole twenty four hours and I really missed my older sister. I know it must have been hard for her to find out a whole month later that I had been dating Peter. I keep forgetting that she's always been the last to know about things because she's never here in person to hear about it right when it happened. I made a promise to myself that I would be honest to her from now on.

But I have to put my foot down on her treating me like a child. I'm not the same Lara Jean that she had left junior year that didn't know what to do with her life. I'm a junior in college, halfway done with graduating with my bachelors in business. I've grown so much over the years as well. I just have to reassure her that this is what I want. A future with Peter that is.

Margot was still out by the time I got back home. The only ones home were Kitty and the dogs. It still fathoms me that Kitty is old enough to stay at home by herself. Kitty was plumped on the couch with Jamie-Fox Pickle watching her shows

" Not hanging out with Brielle tonight?" I asked her.

" Nah she has a family thing. Besides I'm catching up on my shows." She said not taking her eyes off of the laptop.

" When is Margot getting home?" I asked, still on my hopeful high

" She should be home in thirty minutes. She's hanging out with Josh,"

" Josh?! As in our Josh?!" I asked putting emphasis on our

" Yup," Kitty acted unphased by my reaction

" When did this happen?!"

" I guess when he helped us set up the snow thing in Peter's dorm. They have been talking ever since,"

So did my sister break up with Ravi so she can start things up with Josh again? I've only seen him a few times since coming back. He has an apartment close to his campus. Ever since he started college, his parents sold the house and got divorced. I only see him when I go to McCalls or when I go to Mrs. Kavinsky's store. That definitely one thing I'll ask her after I apologize to her.

" I guess I'll just have to ask her about that when she gets back," I made a note out loud

" So are you guys talking again?" Kitty asked

" I'm hoping after tonight,"

" Good luck with that. Now hush, so I can watch,"

I rolled my eyes and made my way upstairs. I decided I could get ready for bed before while I wait for Margot. Maybe if we make up today she'll let me spend the night in her room like old times. I took my favorite night gown and headed to the bathroom. I hate going to bed smelling like food. I'm hoping a bath helps relax my nerves before talking to her.

I was playing back what I would say or how I would start up the conversation in the bath. I had just put my favorite jade bath bomb that I got from amazon. It smell's heavenly. It was so relaxed that I nodded off a few times. What woke me up was hearing Margot yelling to Kitty that she was going to be in her room incase she needed her. That was my cue to finish up my bath.

I made my way to my room with my nightgown on and my hair wrapped in a towel. My heart was so full with my feelings for Peter and that I was going to make up with Margot tonight. I'll make Margot some Night-Night tea to soften her up. My Night-Night tea was her favorite, second to Mommy's. I also wanted to write my letter to Peter. This milestone definitely deserved to be documented.

Dear Peter,

I can't believe that I finally buried the hatchet with your mom. Well, almost buried it. I'm pretty sure that it will take time for me to build a relationship with her, but I know that it will get there. She opened up to me about your dad and why you feel so much angst about him. I feel so bad that I tried to make you have a relationship with him when he showed up at your lacrosse game.

If you had told me before how it all went down then I would have understood. Being a child of a single parent I feel as if having a relationship with your parents is the most important thing. I guess it would be different if my Mom had left instead of died. But then again, that would be hard to imagine. Anyways, even if you don't have your father in your life, it doesn't affect how you are as a man or how you are raised. Your mom did an amazing job raising you guys. I've seen you grow into the amazing man that I love. Please never lose your positive outlook on life and your eagerness for anything that makes you happy. I'm hopeful for a future with you and your mom,"

Love always,

Lara Jean

I was going to confront Peter about what his mom told me after dinner, but all that is in the past for him now. No reason to upset him with a thing that he's over, or still getting over. I'll wait for him to tell me, until then I'll be waiting

I was towel drying my hair before going to Margot's. If I don't do it now, then it would take three hours for my hair to dry and no one wants to go to bed with their hair wet. My phone was ringing and I was expecting it to be Peter. He's probably wondering how the conversation with Margot went. I decided to let it go to voicemail. He'll understand that this conversation is more important. I'll call him back when we made up. When my phone vibrated, letting me know I had a voicemail, I decided to listen what he had to say

" Hey Lara Jean how are you?," I was expecting it to be Peter but the voice doesn't match him. I listened to the message again because my train of thought distracted me

" Hey Lara Jean how are you? I know it's been a while since we've talked or seen each other, but I was wondering if you were free to meet up. I really have something to talk to you about, and I kind of miss being friends with you. Call me back"

What in the world is John Ambrose McClaren calling me for?

 _A/N: OMG WHO'S MIND IS BLOWN RIGHT NOW? I had a very different approach for this chapter, but I wanted to spice things up. Don't worry I'm still team Covinsky... Or maybe I'm team McCovey. Who knows!_

 _I also wanted to answer some of your questions on my stories. No Peter doesn't go to UNC; He is still at UVA but wants to go to UNC for grad I'll have to go back in my stories again and try to find where it got confusing. The last chapter might have been all jumpy, but I really just wanted to focus and give a little holiday short for you guys. Thus said, hopefully this chapter is a little bit clearer for you guys._


	7. Chapter 7

_A/n: Thank you so much for your thoughtful words guys! It's definitely given me a lot of hope as a writer. I would never forget my lovely writers. I love all my repeat reviewers like_ _ **phoeniiix**_ _,_ _ **nik09**_ _,_ _ **Mellie.C**_ _and anyone that I have forgotten. I want to send a special shout out to a newer reviewer :_ _ **LunaZ**_ _. Your kind words have definitely kept me motivated to continue you this story. Here is the rest of CH 7 guys!_

" What does _he_ want?" Kitty asked after I played back the message for her. Kitty has never been a big fan of John Ambrose. She only really "liked" him to show support to me when I was going through my "who do I love more" phase.

I was so ready to apologize to Margot tonight, but this voicemail was really distracting me. I haven't talked to John Ambrose McClaren ever since he took a tour at UNC last semester. It's not like anything really went down between us, we are still cool. But I wouldn't really consider us close. Usually he would text me

" Should I call him back?" I asked her, not knowing what to do. The real question is: should I tell Peter?

" I don't know! I've never had to deal with this kind of drama before," Kitty hand her hand on her chin like she was thinking. " Why don't you ask Margot?"

" Yeah right. I'm pretty sure I'm the last person Margot wants to talk to right now,"

" But we need her! This is Covey sister emergency,"

" Okay Kitty, it's not that dramatic," I said rolling my eyes at her

" I'm still going to get her," Kitty said and then yelled out " Margot we need your help!"

" Kitty no! don't bother-,"

" What do you need?" Margot asked, meeting Kitty at the entrance of the room. She looked at Kitty and then at me " What's going on?"

" Lara Jean needs to ask you something,"

"Well what is it?" The tone in her voice made me want to shrivel in a ball and hide forever.

" It really is nothing, I didn't mean for Kitty to bother you," I said quietly

" Quit being a pansy Lara Jean," Kitty rolled her eyes

" Kitty when did you start using that kind of language?" Margot gasped

" Kid's my age are saying a whole lot worst," Kitty rolled her eyes " Besides, that not the reason why I called you. I called you because Lara Jean is having a hard time telling a guy to get off her back,"

Margot looked back at me quizzically " Is that true?"

I nodded my head and replayed the message to her. She stepped in further into my room so that she could hear the message clearly. Her reaction was a lot better than I was expecting. I was afraid to bring it up to her because it would be adding to the boy drama that I didn't want to rub into her face.

Margot's face pinched up when she heard the message from John Ambrose. I know that she's having a hard time helping me right now. But as an older sister, being there to help her younger sisters has always been a number one priority. Even if we are fighting.

" So what are you going to do?" She asked me

" I have no idea. The main thing I'm concerned about is if I should tell Peter," I bit the inside of my cheek

" Well If I were you I would tell Peter and get his opinion on it. As for John Ambrose, you should hear him out. See what he has to say,"

I looked at Margot to see if I she was serious or not. She never really got to know John Ambrose since she was in Scotland when I was hanging out with John Ambrose more. By my stories I could tell that she favored him over Peter. I wasn't sure about now since Peter has proved himself worthy to be my boyfriend. Her words, not mine.

" Why the hell would she do that?!" Kitty interrupted.

" Katherine!" Margot and I both gasped. This is the reason why I didn't want Peter to cuss in front of Kitty. It doesn't help that the kids at her school are already starting to curse.

She rolled her eyes and ignored us " She already told him that it wasn't going to happen! Like forever ago."

" Okay it's not like he's going to tell me that he has feelings for me now," It was my turn to roll my eyes.

" Well he said he wanted to talk. And you know what talking leads to," Kitty where is your head at right now?

" I think we are both old enough not to beat around the bush. I'll see what he wants though. But Margot is right. I have to tell Peter," I said fiddling with my phone. Maybe I'll call him when Margot and Kitty leave. Besides, I'm not sure if I want to talk to John Ambrose just yet. In case he does want to tell me he still has feelings for me, I have to mentally prepare myself to reject him again.

" Just keep me updated on what you are going to do," Margot ended with that and made her way to leave my room. Kitty and I were looking at each other confused. It's crazy how Margot can go from helpful older sister, to cold and indifferent the next.

" I told you she would know what to do," Kitty mocked

" Oh just go back to your t.v. show's Kitty,"

" Fine by me!" Kitty yelled, already making her way downstairs.

There I was alone, thinking about what to tell Peter. I sucked in a breath of air and decided to call him. He was probably nowhere near his phone since he let it ring three times. On the fourth ring I was about to hang up, but then I heard his voice.

" Hey Covey is everything okay?" Peter asked worried

" Yeah everything is fine. Why do you ask," My voice doesn't sound believable

" We usually don't call each other after spend all day with each other," I could hear in Peter's voice that he doesn't believe me.

" Yeah.. I just need to tell you something," I let out that breath I was holding in

" What is it Covey,"

" John Ambrose McClaren called me tonight,"

The phone went silent for what seemed like thirty minutes, when in actuality it was probably only two seconds. I could hear him breathing on the other line. Probably trying to think of what to say without getting mad.

" What did you guys talk about ?" Peter asked. He sounded inquisitive, but not in the jealous way that he used to get. Maybe he's slowly healing from the wound I gave him junior year.

" I didn't answer it, but he told me he needed to talk to me. I'm not sure about what,"

" He better not be trying to steal you away from me again,"

" Peter."

" I'm just saying Covey," His tone doesn't seem mad, but there is still something off about it. " So are you going to talk to him?"

" Yeah I will, maybe not tonight though. I'm a little tired," I yawned.

" So did you talk to Margot?" Peter changed the subject thanfully

" No," I said completely forgetting " I was going to go talk her, but her leaving immediately after helping me showed that she isn't ready to talk yet. I'll give it a - few more days," There goes the second yawn.

" Covey go to bed. You are obviously tired,"

" No it's okay I'm fine," Is all I remember saying before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

It's been a few days since John Ambrose called and I still haven't returned his message. Every time I would try to, something always came up. I was going to call him back the day after but Trina wanted a girls shopping trip for the beach and then by the time I would be done with family stuff, Peter will swing by. It's really hard to stay on task when Peter is around.

Kitty and Margot, through Kitty, kept bugging me on when I was going to talk to John Ambrose.

" Maybe if you ghost him, then he'll leave you alone?" Kitty suggested during our shopping trip the other day. " It worked for Brielle. Scott texted Brielle the other week asking her on a date and she straight up ignored him. He hasn't tried talked to her ever since!"

" Kitty I don't think it works that way," Margot laughed at her. Oh Kitty, you have so much to learn when it comes to mature conversations.

" John and I are a little too close for something like that to happen," I laughed and nudged Kitty with my elbow.

We filled Trina in on the drama that is John Ambrose McClaren. It didn't help that Kitty kept asking me in front of her. She agreed with Margot when she said I should talk to him. " The only way to set him straight is by sitting down and talking about it like adults," Trina said, feeling so proud of the motherly advice. I wish Mommy was here, she would probably say the same exact thing. She would know how to handle this.

" Well if that were the case, he would have known a long time ago that Lara Jean practically said ' Thank you, next,"

" Okay enough out of you Katherine," I joked.

I was in my living room working on a scrapbook that I was making for Trina and Daddy's anniversary. Hard to believe that two years have passed since they got married. I asked Kitty if she wanted to help me but she told me that scrapbooking was for grandmas. I don't care if it is for older ladies, I still love scrapbooking. Peter was on the couch napping. He just got back from an estate sale not that long ago. He had to wake up at seven am to drive to an estate sale with his mom in Richmond. I told him he could nap at my house before we go shopping later.

I was gluing Daddy's and Trina's wedding photo on a blank page when I heard the doorbell ring. I wasn't expecting anyone to come over and Kitty just got back from a sleepover so she definitely wasn't expecting anyone. I went towards the door and looked at the peephole to see who it was.

" Oh my god," I said out loud. What was John Ambrose McClaren doing at my house?

"Who is it Covey?" Peter asked, He was sitting upright on the couch rubbing his eye

" Um.. It's John Ambrose McClaren," I opened the door and there he was. John Ambrose in the flesh.

I haven't seen John Ambrose since last summer. Back then he was thinking about transferring to UNC. We hung out for a bit as I gave him a tour of the campus. He even came during the UNC vs. William and Mary basketball game . Peter was there that weekend as well. Every time he talked to John he would hold me closer and show more PDA than I was comfortable with. That was also the day that he gave me an ultimatum when it came to John Ambrose.

" _Covey I see the way he looks at you. He still wants you," Peter scoffed. We were at Top of the Hill celebrating the UNC win over William and Mary. Peter had pulled me aside when he saw I was getting too touchy with John._

" _Peter just because he wants me doesn't mean that I want him!" It's true. I haven't thought of John Ambrose McClaren that way since junior year of high school. " Besides I just recently started talking to him after two years."_

" _Lara Jean I'm serious. Remember the last time you got friendly with him? He almost stole you away from me," Peter never lets me forget my kiss with John Ambrose. I don't think he ever will " If you love me you will stop being friends with him,"_

 _I was so taken aback by what he said. Does he not trust me enough to know that my feelings are platonic. I took a step away from Peter and glared at him " Peter you can't tell me who I can or can't be friends with. I never gave you an ultimatum when it came to Gen. You even went to her house when we were together back then?"_

 _Peter gave me a look that seemed like I punched him in the gut. I knew he was just being his friendly caring self. Genevieve was going through a tough time with her dad cheating on her mom and Peter was just trying to help her cope. I was the one that was getting friendly with John Ambrose McClaren while dating Peter in high school. If I had told him I was dating Peter in the first place then maybe this whole thing could have been avoided._

 _We just glared at each other unsure of what to say._

" _At least I stayed faithful to you even when you broke up with me," Peter breathed and turned around and walked back to our friends at the bar._

" _Peter you can't keep using the past against me!" I was so mad to the point where I can't think straight._

" _Please Covey I'm begging you." He was looking at me with pleading eyes_

" _Ugh Peter I can't do this right now. If you think you can give me this ultimatum then I don't know how I feel about us," I stormed off._

Just thinking about that still makes me sick. That was the biggest fight Peter and I have ever had. Bigger than when we used to fight about Genevieve. We didn't talk to each other for two weeks due to it. The distance was getting to Peter that he drove all the way to UNC on a day he had class just to apologize. That day we promised each other to trust each other when it comes to close friends of the opposite gender.

" Hey Lara Jean," He greeted me shyly. He had a small smile on his face but the smiled didn't reach his eyes. "

" Hey John. What are you doing here?" I asked slightly confused. He's never came over unless he was invited

" I texted you twenty minutes ago saying I was stopping by. Did you not get it?"

" No?" I looked at my phone to see a message from John. I was too in the zone with my scrapbooking that I must have not heard my phone go off.

" Can I come him?" He asked politely.

"Umm Peter is over, but you are more than welcome to come inside." Peter mouthed to me W _hat the hell Covey_ but I ignored him. He can handle being in the same room as John Ambrose McClaren. John Ambrose took a step in side and I could have sworn the atmosphere shifted. John Ambrose went up to the end of the couch and greeted Peter.

"Hey Peter" He said politely extended his hand for Peter's

"Hey McClaren," Peter replied shortly, shaking his hand.

It's always so awkward having John Ambrose and Peter in the same room. They used to be best friends when we were all in middle school. But that was also before they both developed feelings for me

" So how have you been John?" I asked trying to lighten up the tension.

He told me how his semester was going and how he was thinking about transferring to Georgetown. John Ambrose was someone that belong in Washington D.C. All those years in model U.N. would definitely help him in his future career. He told me once that he wanted to run for senator. I could see him running for president in the future. I would vote for him if he did. Peter half paid attention to our conversation. I made sure to put some space in between Peter and I just so John wouldn't feel uncomfortable, but Peter kept trying to pull me closer. I had to shoot him a warning glance to stop.

In the middle of the conversation I had to use the bathroom. I hope that Peter doesn't try to start something while I'm gone for five minutes. That boy always has to be the biggest bad boy in the room. I was heading back to the living room when I could hear them talking

"So when are you going to tell her?" Peter was asking John. What are they talking about. Tell me what?

" I was planning on telling her today. I just wasn't expecting you would be here," I could hear a little bit of annoyance in John's voice. It would be like Peter to start something with John right now.

" Of course I would be here. I'm her boyfriend," Peter snorted. "Someone has to be there to hold her back from killing you," I don't want to hear any more of this. I cleared my throat warning them that I was back.

"So how are things going Peter?" John was alarmed as he saw me approach the couch and took a seat next to Peter. Peter kept giving John a look as if he was saying _Tell her now._

" I'm good. Lara Jean and I just celebrated our three year anniversary a few weeks ago," Peter beamed and grabbed my hand that has the ring on it, clearly trying to show it off. Okay time for Peter to go.

" Peter can I talk to you in the kitchen _now_ ," I warned him.

Peter looked to me and John Ambrose. He knew that from my tone that I wasn't messing around. " I'll be back,"

I took Peter's hand and guided him to the kitchen. Although John Ambrose could still see us, he couldn't hear us

" What are you doing?" I asked him in a hushed tone

" I was just answering his question," Peter replied to me, a little louder than I wanted him to

" Yeah by pushing his buttons. I heard you two earlier while I was coming back. Did you know he was coming over today?"

Peter's face gave him away. He looked as if he had just been caught in a lie " I didn't know he was coming right this second until twenty minutes ago," What is Peter trying to do? First he makes me talk to my mom and now John Ambrose! This was all too much.

" Peter what the hell?" I yelled at him. I covered my mouth as soon as I said it. I looked over to see John Ambrose looking at my direction. " We are going to talk about this later," I whispered to Peter and dragged him back over to the living room again.

" Peter was just about to head out actually John," Lara Jean " Right Peter?" I said pinching the inside of his palm that I was holding

" Yeah I promised Kitty that I would take her to get custard," He played off. The tried to kiss me on the cheek, but I dodged him. I'm not really in the mood for him to try to act all cute towards me to forgive him.

" Hey Kid! Want to go to Tart and Tangy?" Peter called out.

" Yeah! Give me five minutes!" Kitty yelled back

After a few minutes, Kitty came rushing downstairs to meet Peter. " Come on Peter let's go!" She said and rushed out the door. She didn't even acknowledge the fact that we had company over. Rude.

" I'll be back later," Peter promised and looked over to John Ambrose " Have fun," He smirked and left the house. Maybe with Peter out of the house John could tell me what his voicemail was about. I took a seat back at the couch across from John Ambrose.

" I'm really sorry about Peter. He's likes to gloat a lot," I apologized with a small laugh.

" It's fine Lara Jean," John Ambrose smiled, but he still looked troubled. Avoid the subject on why he was really her asked " So how is he doing in school?"

"He's doing good; He finally picked a major. Peter is majoring in sports medicine and is hoping to get into Physical Therapy school" I said proudly

" Good luck Kavinsky," John snorted.

"What is that supposed to mean?" This is so unlike John.

" Well what schools is he planning on applying to?" John asked

" He wants to apply to Old Dominion, UNC, or Duke," I could already tell what John was thinking but I didn't want to say it out loud

" Those are all really hard schools to get into. You really think Peter won't have a hard time getting in? This is the same guy that cheated off of your friend, Josh Sanderson." I knew I shouldn't have told him about that. That part slipped out one time when I was ranting about Peter in high school

" Just so you know John Ambrose, Peter's grades and his study habits have improved since high school. He has a tutor now and his GPA is a 3.5," I really don't like how our conversation goes from light to heavy in a few seconds. " But If you are going to bash my boyfriend then you can go ahead and leave," I tried to storm off towards the door but John grabbed me by the wrist

" I'm sorry Lara Jean. I didn't mean to come off as a dick," He looked at me with pleading eyes. " Besides that's not the reason I asked to talk. I wanted to tell you something: I'm dating someone"

A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I thought the whole time John Ambrose was here was because he was going to tell me he has feelings for me again. Not that I wouldn't be flattered, but I made it very clear that when it comes to him or Peter, it would always be Peter.

Someone from KASA told me that they ran into John Ambrose's profile once on tinder. Never would I have thought a guy like John Ambrose McClaren would be on tinder. When I found out I immediately texted him to tease him. Peter on the other hand used the words " I knew McClaren wanted to get laid," I had to slap him for that.

" Was it someone from tinder?" I asked forgetting that I was annoyed at him

" Shhh not so loud Lara Jean." John held his hands up and lowered his voice " I don't really want to broadcast the fact that I was on that app," John had told me about the crazy girls that he has met on tinder, it wasn't his proudest moment.

" Your fault for being on there in the first place Johnny," I giggled but he wasn't having yet. I stopped laughing and fixed my composure

" That's great though, I'm happy for you!" I smiled at him reassuringly " So tell me who is the girl,"

John Ambrose took a deep breath and stared down at the floor again. " Please don't freak out when I tell you," I don't really like where this is going. Why would John Ambrose be afraid to tell me who he was dating? We've never been this way to each other " At first it was a little weird for me as well, but I knew it wouldn't be right if I didn't tell you. She wanted to wait until it was the right time," He rambled on

" John just tell me who she is," knots were forming in my stomach. Who could it be that John is afraid to tell me that he's dating.

"I'm dating Haven Song," He admitted while trying to avoid contact with me. My mind went blank for a second when he had just revealed who he is dating.

" Haven Song my cousin?!" I blurted in disbelief. I waited for him to say something but he just nodded his head.

" Okay spill . How the heck did this happen?" And how come I'm just finding about this now. I was just with Haven the other day and she never mentioned to me that she was dating someone.

" She was actually one of the girls I met on Tinder. We messaged back and forth from spring break on, but never really got a chance to meet until now," John Ambrose continued with his story.

" Well we were both invited to this party while you were gone, I believe you were at Margot's graduation. A few people from different schools were there, including Peter." Peter told me something crazy happened while I was gone, but he didn't elaborate what it was though. I never thought it would be something about my ex flame and my cousin!

" I was really nervous to meet her because I haven't really liked anyone since Dipti, and well you," He got quiet when he brought that up " But we really hit it off. She's really nice and she just really gets me, and we are both very ambitious. I asked her out on a date the next day and then before you know it we kind of made it official,"

" But of all people, why does it have to be my cousin?!" I asked " I just saw her too and she didn't even bother mentioning you

" In my defense, I didn't know she was your cousin until Peter talked to her at the party,"

" But you're still with her anyways?" I lifted my eyebrow at him.

" I tried to end it when I found out, but she kept on insisting that you would be okay with it,"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. That sounds so much like Haven. I know that she is my cousin and I should love her, but it's so hard to when she tries to make everything a competition. For as long as I remember the aunts and uncles would always compared us. We both got good grades, never really gotten in trouble, and got into really good schools. When we were receiving our acceptance letters, Haven never let me forget that she got into UVA and I didn't. It bothered me so much back then, but I love UNC and don't regret going there.

" What exactly did she say?"

" She said " If Lara Jean really cared for us, she would want us to be happy. Besides she's happily in love with Peter," John Ambrose quoted

" Ugh," I groaned. She's right about one thing though. I am happily in love with Peter, but she knows my history with John. " Well if she cared for my happiness then she wouldn't be flirting with my boyfriend every time she sees him."

" Well now she won't," John said trying to make the conversation less awkward.

" Yeah she'll be too busy bragging about you every chance she gets," I rolled my eyes. " How are you even going to see each other? Wellesly is more than a ten hour drive from here!"

" Flights aren't that expensive flying from D.C," A small grin formed on John's face as he asked jokingly "Am I sensing a little jealousy Lara Jean?"

" What? No- I'm just trying to wrap my head around this situation," And I'm trying so hard not to go off on Peter. He should have told me when he found out.

" Please don't freak out or feel weird about this. She's really fun around me and I really like her," He was giving hopeful blue eyes. I could easily tell why Haven would have real feelings for John. He's a sweet guy and knows how to treat a lady.

" It's just way too weird for me to wrap my head around all of this!" I exclaimed " I mean with our history and all,"

John Ambrose's cheek turned pink for a little and refused to look at me " And who's fault is that?"

" You know that isn't fair John,," Why are we talking about this? We need to go back to the topic of him dating my cousins, or even avoid both topics.

" What was I supposed to do? Wait for you to realize that Peter was a bad boyfriend and come crying back to me?" He raised his voice at me " You didn't really leave me with much of a choice,"

" That doesn't mean date my cousin!" I yelled back at him " Why are we even talking about this John?"

" You were the one that brought it up." He replied, still avoiding eye contact. " Congrats by the way,"

I saw him looking at my hand, more specifically my ring. That hand behind me defensively " It's not exactly what you think it is,"

" I know, Peter told me. So you really do love him huh?"

I nodded " I really do," Although I was really mad at Peter right now, it doesn't mean that I don't love him. " He's really been great since we got back together. He even has Margot's approval,"

" That's great,"

John's phone went off in the middle of our conversation. He took it from his pocket to check who it was. I could clearly read the name Haven on the collar id, with a picture of her on the display. He looked at me apologetically

" Go ahead and answer it,"

" Hey.. Yeah I'm about to head over right now. I'm at a friend's house," He was listening to her go on on the other line and mouthing sorry to me. " Yeah I can be there in fifteen minutes, let me say bye to my friend… I'll see you soon, bye," He hung up and revert his attention back to me

" Your highness awaits," I said biting my lip

" I'm sorry about that," John apologized and got up " I better get going. I'll talk you soon?" he asked hopeful

I nodded " Ehh possibly. I just need time to wrap my head around all of this"

I walked him to the door and he offered me a forced hug. I hugged him back feeling just as awkward as the hug was. It was hard to remain close to John Ambrose after I had chosen Peter. We hung out a few times afterwards, but things were never the same as before. It didn't help that Peter was insanely jealous of John Ambrose McClaren. After John left I took out my phone and texted Peter

 **Why the hell did you not tell me about John Ambrose and Haven?**

I put my phone in my pocket and sighed. I really don't know how I'm feeling right now. I want to be mad at Peter, John Ambrose, and Haven for not telling me in the first place, especially Peter. He of all people should know how this would make me feel. My phone vibrated in my pocket a few minutes later. Peter's assigned text tone

 **Did you just cuss Covey? So how dead is Sundance Kid?**

Ugh I swear this kid infuriates me sometimes.

 **Not the point Kavinsky.**

 **I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Lara Jean. They begged me not to tell you. They said that they were going to tell you themselves.**

It's so hard to stay mad at Peter when he's acting this way. Old Peter would always reason out whenever I was mad at him. But nowadays he just owns up to it and apologizes before things could get ugly. But there was no way I was going to let up on him. It was unfair of them to keep me in the dark like this.

 **Okay.**

I kept the reply short. There was no way that I want to have this argument on the phone. One thing I learned about long distance relationships is that arguments must be handled in person. I end up saying things I don't mean if I fight with Peter over text message.

Peter and Kitty returned twenty minutes after John Ambrose McClaren left. I was still very angry at Peter for not telling me. He knew it as well. He didn't try to push me today as he usually would to get me in a better mood. Kitty could sense my anger towards Peter as well

" I'm going to go upstairs." Kitty said looking at my facial expression. " I want no part of this. Your life is confusing enough Lara Jean,"

" I'm really sorry," Peter apologized again when Kitty was gone

" Yeah, you said that,"

" I didn't want to ruin your time at Margot's graduation and they begged me not to tell,"

" So? I told you the other day when John Ambrose called me. I could have just kept it to myself and went to see John Ambrose without you knowing!"

" I know and I appreciate you telling me," Peter stayed calm as I was yelling at him.

Here we are again fighting about John Ambrose McClaren. Does this cycle never end? I looked at Peter and I can see his apology written over his face. If this was the old Peter and Lara Jean, Peter would be bringing up our past, but this time he refrained from it when I gave him so many opportunities to bring it up. I hate being mad at him, it hurts me more than he knows to see him this way.

" But do you understand why I'm mad?" I asked taking a deep breath, my voice a little more calmer than a minute ago.

" I do," Peter sighed " If it were anyone else I would've totally texted it to you, but this is your cousin Lara Jean,"

" As if we are that close," I scoffed

" But she is still your family. I didn't want to be the reason why you would blow up at your cousin, and I definitely didn't want this to be the reason why you would be mad at McClaren. I didn't want the blame. This is their news to tell not mine,"

I opened my mouth to argue, but then shut it. Is that true? Would it have been even worst if he had told me once he found out. I'm not sure I would've handled the news well if I heard it while in Scotland. It probably would've ruined my trip when my main purpose on going was to be there for Margot's graduation.

" What's on your mind?" Peter asked me when I didn't say anything

" Anything and everything," I sighed

" Want to talk about it?"

" Not now, I still have a lot to process about this news."

" Well if you need me I'm only a phone call away,"

" Are you leaving?" I asked shocked, I was assuming that he would try to stay for dinner.

" Yeah I promised Owen I would coach him in lacrosse tonight" Peter shrugged

" Owen and lacrosse? I thought he was a basketball guy?" I asked

" Yeah it took me by surprise too," Peter reached out for me and I finally let him touch me. He pulled me close and buried his face in my hair " Are we okay Covey?" He asked softly.

" We are," I nodded in promise. The last thing I need right now is for Peter and I to be fighting. I'll eventually get over John Ambrose dating my cousin, but it's not his fault that they kept this from me for almost a year.

" Call me later?" I asked him innocently

" You'll be my last call," Peter kissed the top of my head.

* * *

" So how did it go?" Margot asked. Her and Kitty were standing at my doorway. I wasn't expecting her to ask. After she helped me the other day, she acted as if she was still mad at me.

" It was definitely not what I expected," I replied

" What do you mean?"

" Well the good news is, He's over me I guess? But he told me he wanted to talk because he wanted to tell me in person that he was dating Haven?"

"What?!" They acted as surprised as I did when I found out

" Yeah. They met on Tinder last summer and have been talking ever since. They made it official when they met in person a week ago or so,"

" So since he couldn't have you he just tries to go for the next thing that's closest to you?" Kitty scoffed.

" Kitty it's not like that!" I defended him

" I have to side with Kitty on this one. This just doesn't really seem all that believable. I mean with how Haven is, I never really thought she would date someone here, especially since she's always wanted to get out of Charlottesville,"

" What are you saying? That's there is some ulterior motive behind all of this?" I rolled my eyes at them

" I didn't say anything. I'm just saying that it's odd," Margot drifted off and looked at Kitty. Kitty shrugged and mouthed something that looked like she was saying _Go talk to her now._

" I'm going to see if Trina needs help with the laundry," Kitty said and skidded down the hallway. Leaving Margot and I just looking at each other. This was my time to talk to her, to finally put our drama behind us.

" I'm so sorry," We both said the same time. We let out a little laugh at our jinx.

" I was wrong," Margot's voice broke. That was the first time that I've ever heard Margot say that. Margot always had to have her way. That was just how Margot is.

" No I should have told you as soon and I got the ring," I cried

" I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that. But that isn't what I was wrong about,"

" What are you wrong about then?"

"About Peter," She took a seat on my bed, grabbing a pillow to hug to herself.

"What do you mean?" I was still in shock that she admitted that she was wrong. She wouldn't even admit she was wrong when Daddy wanted her and Ravi to stay in different rooms the first time he came to visit.

" When you first told me that you were dating Peter I was livid. Partly because I didn't think that he was good for you. But the main reason I was so upset, although it wasn't a real relationship at the time, I didn't hear about it until two months after it started."

" Margot you know the reason why I didn't tell you because I didn't want to lie to you about a fake relationship." I assured her

" Even if it was a fake relationship I was the last to know about it. The fact that you weren't able to talk to be about it hurt me so much,"

" I never thought about it that way,"

" When you told us about your promise ring the other night, well, it made me upset that you didn't tell me as soon and you got the ring,"

Margot has always been a straight forward person that would tell you how she is feeling when she is feeling it. For her to hold a grudge, especially towards me, would be impossible. The only person in our family that can successfully hold a grudge is Kitty.

" So you don't hate the idea that Peter gave me a promise ring?" I asked

" Not at all. Everyone that knows you two can see that Peter is crazy about you," Margot replied " He's proven to me and you wrong about a lot of things. It's very rare nowadays for people to still be with their high school sweetheart after their senior year. You two have definitely beaten most statistics," I lightly hit her with a pillow and laughed. I swear her and her statistics lately.

" I'm also slightly jealous that my little sister is closer to getting engage than I am," Margot looked at me with sad eyes. I could tell that she was still heartbroken by her break up with Ravi.

" Don't say that! You are so smart and pretty that you could have any guy that you wanted!" It's true. Guys are always falling for Margot.

"It's not getting the guy that's the problem Lara Jean," Margot had told me about all the guys chasing her during the time she was single after her breakup with Josh " It's just finding that perfect guy that's willing to balance anything for me."

" Is that why you broke up with Ravi?" I asked her. Margot was holding back tears. She was just trying to be the best big sister she could be. Letting me talk about my happiness with Peter even while she was sad. This time it's my turn to return the favor.

Margot nodded and let a few tears escape. " I love him so much Lara Jean. I wanted to move to London with him and start a future with him, but a part of me really wanted to be home at the same time. I was away for so long and I was tired of missing everything. I asked Ravi if he wanted to move here and he told me no," This time she wasn't holding anything back. All the tears that she was holding back since the break-up was coming out now.

"I'm so sorry Margot. I knew he loved you too," I pulled my older sister towards me and rubbed her back. I let her cry until she couldn't cry anymore.

There was a small knock and the door opened slightly. Kitty had poked her head to see what was going on " I heard Margot crying in the other room," She was feeling the room wondering if she should come in or not. I waved at her to join us. She made herself comfortable on the other side of Margot and hugged her back " It's okay Gogo,"

" Would you like me to make you some Night-Night tea?" I asked her. Margot pulled away from me, and nodded her head. " I'll let you fill Kitty in on what is going on,"

I made my way to the kitchen and made the Night-Night tea the way that Mommy always made it. I was done talking about Peter that night. I love that the fight between Margot and I was resolved but, my heart was breaking for Margot. I returned to Margot's room, Night-Night tea in my head, ready to talk to Margot until she was feeling better. She took the mug from me and thanked me. Her and Kitty were catching up on how Ravi didn't want to move here for her.

" I know his accent is hot and all, but boy is he dumb for not wanting to move here. Makes him way less hot," Kitty was sticking up for her sister. Margot and I did well on raising her.

Margot laughed and dabbed her eyes with a tissue. " Kitty please do us all a favor: Never love a guy more than he loves you,"

" After seeing this, I don't know if I ever want to fall in love at all! It's too much of a headache keeping up with all of your boy drama," Kitty groaned causing Margot and I to laugh. I hope that when Kitty falls in love that she doesn't over complicate things like Margot and I do.

* * *

Dear Peter,

I finally made up with Margot today! It took a while, but somehow my crisis tends to prove that sister love prevails over everything. It's definitely been one crazy week. I never thought I would be fighting with you, Margot and somewhat John Ambrose all in the same week. But luckily it's really hard for me to stay mad or upset at anything. Margot and Chris think its one of my best qualities, but Kitty doesn't think so. Then again, no one holds a grudge like Kitty.

It's going to be super weird for me to see Haven again. I'm pretty sure that John Ambrose probably told her and she still hasn't reached out to me about it. You may have to be there the next time I see her to hold me back. The reason for this letter is because I've seen how much you have matured with your jealousy over John Ambrose. Maybe this was a sign to test our relationship. You could've flown out the handle when we were arguing early, but you didn't. Although I was angry, I'm very thankful that you kept your composure while I was the one that blew up. Crazy how our arguments about John Ambrose came in a full circle.

A fight like this makes me hopeful for the future. I know that jealousy is part of a long distance relationship, but if we could get through Gen and this, people we have history with, We can get over whatever jealously feudes that will happen in the future. Thank you again.

Love Always,

Lara Jean

 _a/n: thank you again for always being patient with these updates. I'm balancing 13 credit hours while working two part time jobs. I try to write as soon as I have a plot in mind just so I don't forget it. And you know I'm infamous for rewriting chapters. I know JA is a little out of characters, but things can feel strain in the matters of the heart. Tell me what you think about this JA? Yay or nay?_


	8. PSA I'M BACK

OKAY OKAY! Did you guys think I forgot about you? I'm so sorry my lovely readers! I know I've been slacking, and like I said before school has gotten me in a slump and huge ass writers block, but I'm going to be back in two weeks. Please be patient with me when it comes to posting. I promise the next time I post I'll have 2 chapters for you guys ;). Thank you for those that are still bumping this story and following me and the story. I love you all so much! Please leave me nice reviews to come back to and any suggestions for my writers block?!


	9. Chapter 8 41719

_A/n: OKAY YA'LL. OMG I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in forever. My English and psychology classes has be writing one week after the other so I got really lazy to update. My physics class has also been killing me. Two more weeks and I'll have all the free time to write for 3 whole months! Imagine how many chapters I can write with that amount of time? Thank you to those who have left me kind reviews while I was away. Your reviews and the follow notifications have been really making my day. Now to get on with the rest of the chapter! **SO… I changed things up to make it interesting… Please don't kill me. But this is a whole remastered chapter. Hope you enjoyed!**_

" You have no idea how much I want you right now," Peter growled in my ear. We were in Peter's apartment taking advantage of the fact that his roommates and my family were gone for the night. Peter's shirt was on the ground and his lips were crushed on mine.

" Peter," I moaned against the kiss. My hands were in his hair playing with his curls. I had to convince him to keep his hair long. It makes him look handsome in a sexy way.

" Tell me what you want Covey,"

" I want you,"

" You want me what?" God I have a love-hate relationship when he teases me this way.

" I want you to fuck me," I'm usually not one to cuss at all, but I can't help it when I'm turned on the way I am right now. I can feel him grin as he tugged on my bottom lip with his teeth. His hands snaked their way under my shirt and unclasped my bra.

" How badly do you want me?" His hands were massaging and squeezing my breast.

" I want you to fuck me really hard," I begged, dying from his teasing.

Peter pulled away from the kiss, his hands still on my breast. He gave me a look of lust and want. I could just come undone this instant with the intensity of his stare. He hands were at my short instantly unbuttoning and pulling them down, my underwear following suit.

He reached over to his dresser to grab the condom. Swiftly he unwrapped it and secured it on himself. He leaned down to kiss me gently. When we first started having sex he would do this to indicate that he was going to enter me. I could feel his tip against me.

" I want you Peter," I begged. No more than two seconds later he was inside of me. I groaned in response.

He started out gentle at first, trailing kisses on my chest and neck before kissing my lips again. Our bodies moved together in synch, as if they were meant to be that way. Each thrust getting harder and moans getting louder. After a few minutes Peter flipped us over so that I was on top. I broke off the kiss so that I could look down at Peter, but instead of seeing Peter, I saw a naked John Ambrose in my bed.

I woke up with a scream that you see in movies after a person was having a bad dream. How could a dream that started out so good turn out to be so wrong? What was that even about? I don't even think about John Ambrose that way, yet I'm having a sex dream about him.

I waited for a few minutes to see if I had woken anyone up. I checked my phone to see that it was two am. Thankfully no lights turned on so that means that everyone must still be fast asleep.

It's been a week since I found out about John Ambrose and Haven. I haven't talked to either of them since. I'm still mad that neither of them decided to tell me about it. Especially since I had to hear about it from John Ambrose instead of Haven. Haven texted me a few days afterwards about it, which I ignored.

I heard the facetime ring go off. There's only one person I know that would call me in the middle of the night.

" LJ!" I hear a drunken Chris yell on the phone. She appeared to have just gotten in from a night out.

" Chris do you realize what time it is?" I asked flustered and a little annoyed. Normally I wouldn't mind too much for her calling me this late because we barely get to talk as it is. Her timing is just a little terrible with the dream and all

" Woah woah Lara Jean did I catch you at a bad time? You look like you've just gotten done masturbating,"

" Chris really? That so gross!" It's not like the thought hasn't ever occurred to me, I just feel uncomfortable thinking about it.

She decided to ignore this. Her hair has grown and the tips had been dyed pink since the last time I saw her. " What's been going on with you? Has Peter finally taken your V card?" she smirked

I grew red at her question and all I could do was nod my head. " Yeah.. It actually happened last month,"

" OH MY GAWD. Finally Saint Covey is no longer a saint. Fucking tell me everything. How is Kavinsky in bed? Is he big?" Chris was grinning ear to ear.

" That's private information Chris!" I squealed. Although Peter and I have had sex multiple times since our first time, it was till weird talking about it. Especially with someone as experienced as Chris.

" I mean if you aren't going to tell me I can always just ask my cousin," She teased

" Don't you fucking dare," I snapped

" Geeze you are in a mood tonight. You never cuss,"

" Well it doesn't help that you called me at two a.m."

" I'm sorry." Chris apologized " So did you want to talk about it?" She asked a little nicer.

I forgot how much that she has missed since the last time I've spoken to her. I filled her in on everything that's happened the past few months. The ring, my fights with my sister, and losing my virginity. She was the first person that didn't jump to conclusions when I told her about the ring, which I'm very grateful for. She did call it very "high school," causing me to glare daggers at her.

" So all it took was jewelry to get into your pants huh? Nice going Kavinsky." Chris applauded.

" It's not like that at all! We've been dating since high school and I really felt like I was ready when I did it. Besides if that were the case then I probably would have lost it junior year after he gave me that necklace anyways," I teased.

" I'm proud of you LJ. Maybe you won't be as much of a prude now,"

" Be glad you aren't here right now Chris or else I might have kicked you off the bed," I rolled my eyes.

" So the main reason I called was because I saw John Ambrose's relationship status. I can't believe that he's fucking your cousin."

"He's not having sex with Haven! At least I don't think he is,"

" Oh okay then. How did they meet then?"

" Tinder,"

" You can't be on tinder and not be fucking the person you are with. The main purpose for that app is for horny, lonely people,"

" That's not true! You don't know John Ambrose like I do,"

" He's a guy! That's all they think about, especially once they've gone to college ,"

" That's so not true," I don't like the way that Chris is talking because it isn't true. Never has Peter pressured me into having sex . He always waited for me to give him the go signal.

" Whatever stops the tears," She yawned and rubbed her eyes " I gotta hit the hay. I have work in two hours. I'll talk to you later," She hung up without waiting for me to say bye. That's so Chris of her.

I rolled my eyes at her last comment. Maybe the guys that Chris sleeps around with are like that, but I doubt that Peter and John Ambrose are that way. It was four am by the time we got off of the phone. Thankfully it's summer so I don't have a set time that I had to wake up. I'm glad that I was able to talk to her, it took my mind off of the dream earlier, even if it was for a bit. I have no idea how I'm going to act the next time I see Peter. It's just a dream, I keep repeating to myself until sleep took over me.

I must have slept for another few hours or so until I felt a wet kiss on my neck. The kiss triggered me to thinking about the dream. I sat up quickly to find Peter in my bed. I forgot that he was going to sneak in after Daddy and Trina left for work.

" Peter don't startle me like that!" I groaned, throwing a pillow at his face.

" I'm sorry Covey," Peter laughed and pulled me closer " I couldn't wait for you to get up,"

I pushed Peter away and waited for my heart rate to go back to normal. Peter sat up and raised an eyebrow at me. I was so distracted by his presence that I didn't notice until now that he was shirtless.

" Everything okay?"

" Yeah everything is fine. I'm just really tired. Chris called me at two am this morning and wanted to talk for a few hours," At least that wasn't a lie. I'm still little exhausted from that

" Did you want to sleep some more?" Peter asked me sympathetically.

I shook my head and kissed his cheek. That's PG enough without triggering my dream last night. Peter smiled at my seemingly relaxed mood and pulled me into his arms. As much as I would love snuggling close to his chest, after last night's dream it just feels like I virtually cheated on my boyfriend. I left a little bit of room in between us just to give me a peace of mind

" So how's Chris?"

" Same as she always is. She wanted pretty much called to talk about John Ambrose," I stiffened a little as I said his name, which Peter seemed to notice.

" Yeah I saw that they made it Facebook official. Are you still mad at them?" Good, he only think that I'm mad at him, and not suspecting anything

" Not as I was before, but I think that it's pretty weird that Haven hasn't even texted me about it,"

" Forget about her then. Cousin or not, she should have been the one to tell you instead on McClaren,"

" I wish it was that easy, We'll be seeing her in a month during the beach week," I groaned and buried my face in the mattress.

" It's okay I'll be there if you need a buffer" Peter promised. Peter looked as he was about to kiss me when his text tone went off. _Whew saved by the bell._ He groaned and took the phone off of the bedside table. By the look on his face, he didn't seem too happy with who texted him. He took a minute and rapidly typed a reply.

" Who is it?" I asked.

" It's McClaren,"

Shit. I swear John Ambrose always seems to have the worst timing. I bit my lip and scooted away from Peter. He was the last person I wanted to hear from " Why is he texting you?"

" He wants to know if you are still mad at him. I told him that what he and Haven did was fucked up,"

" Did you really say fucked up?" I rolled my eyes at him

" It's true!"

" Your words not mine," I said getting up " Come on Peter, time to get up," I pulled grabbed his hand and tried to pull him out.

" I'll get up if you cook me breakfast," Peter pouted " Pretty please?"

" Only because you asked me nicely," I tossed Peter his shirt

Peter and I made our way to the kitchen and raided the fridge to see what we can whip up for breakfast. Margot and I were supposed to go grocery shopping but she was invited to go hang out with Josh and his friends. I still haven't asked her about that just yet. With Margot, you have to wait for her to go to you with news instead of confront her about it.

" Covey your fridge is really bare," Peter called out

" Yeah, that's what happens when you have a diet crazy family member. Is cereal okay?" I asked pulling out a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Honey Nut Cheerios out

" Works for me," Peter nodded grabbing two bowls and spoons and set them on the breakfast table. I love how he knows his way around my kitchen.

I grabbed the milk and cereal and sat in near on the breakfast bar. Peter pulled out the stool next to him for me to sit down. We had our cereal with bananas and strawberries.

" This is the best cereal that I've ever had," Peter joked.

" Oh hush. I didn't even make it," I rolled my eyes. " Oh I forgot to tell you. Guess who is hanging out again?"

" Who ?" Peter asked as he slurped the remainder of his milk in the bowl

" Margot and Josh!"

" Margot likes Sanderson again?"

" Why can't you just call the guys by their first name?"

" It's a team thing," Peter shrugged

" I'm not too sure about the nature of their friendship. I found out the last time I had dinner at your house. I was supposed to go grocery shopping with her yesterday, but she cancelled saying how she was going to hang out at Josh's place,"

" Hmmm. That's weird. I'm just glad that he's back on her and not you," Peter placed his hand a little too high on my leg and gave it a little squeeze.

" Peter!" I said swatting his hand away. " Kitty and Margot are upstairs,"

" Didn't stop you last week," Peter smirked. He's not wrong. Peter and I were upstairs having sex in my room when Kitty and her friend Brielle were watching a movie downstairs. Luckily the TV was loud enough to where they couldn't hear us. It wasn't what I would have wanted to do, but Peter really knows how to make me want him.

" That was a one-time thing only! You know that I would prefer to do it when no one is around," I said turning red.

" Fine we'll just wait for Margot and Kitty to leave. I have nothing to do today, I can wait," Peter smirked and stole a kiss on my neck, causing me to flinch to the touch.

" Sorry, I'm not really feeling myself today." I bit my lip

" Ahh. I see. Are you going to start soon?" Peter asked nervously.

" Maybe," I lied again. I just ended my period two weeks ago. Peter and I have been dating so long that he just assumed when I'm crabby that I'm on my period. Such a boy thing to think of.

" In anatomy class they said that women are moody two weeks before their period."

I looked at him in shock with what he just said " Did Peter Kavinsky actually related school to real life?"

" Hey that means I'm learning," Peter grinned.

" Peter is that you?" Kitty called from upstairs

" Yeah kid I'm here!"

Kitty hopped down the stairs and hitched a seat on the other side of Peter. She eyed our bowls of cereal and looked at us " Lara Jean was too lazy to cook breakfast?"

" More like Margot bailed on going grocery shopping with me so now we have no food," I stuck my tongue out at her

" You know you could've gone yourself,"

" And carry all the groceries in myself. That would be a no," I retorted back

" You could have taken Peter!"

" Yeah I'm sure Peter has better things to do besides go grocery shopping with me,"

" I don't mind going," Peter interrupted. " Like I said earlier, I have all day," Peter turned to me and winked.

" Ew please at least wait until I'm out of the room to start your kinky shit," Kitty gagged

" Kitty I really hope you aren't talking like this in front of Trina and Daddy," I said warning her.

" Yeah, Yeah you don't have to worry about me. Since Peter is free, you and him can go to the groceries today before Daddy gets mad."

" I'll do it if you go with us?," I begged Kitty

" I'm busy actually. Xavier and I are going to walk our dogs in the park,"

" Xavier, as in Gabe Rivera's brother?" I asked shocked and looked at Peter. Peter just shrugged. Peter told me before that Kitty had a crush on him, but she was too afraid to ask him out or to hang out.

" Yeah, No big deal though," Lies, it's probably a huge deal.

" Okay...have fun I guess?" I didn't want to make a big deal of it yet, especially since she hasn't told me she liked him.

" I always do. I'm going to go get ready now," Kitty said leaving to go back upstairs.

" Looks like it's just you and me Covey," Peter scooting closer to rub my leg.

" Okay then let's go!" I said getting up as soon as his hand was getting a little too high for comfort.

Peter bit his lip and raised an eyebrow at me. Usually when he makes this face he's trying to figure me out. I tried to smile as innocently as possible to sell that I'm okay.

" Alright. I did say that I would go with you," Peter shrugged and got up from his stool.

* * *

We were able to kill time and distract ourselves at the grocery store. Having Peter there actually made grocery shopping a lot easier as well. He was more than willing to fetch anything I asked him to fetch.

" Hey Lara Jean!" I was in the freezer aisle looking through what ice cream to get when I the voice of the last person I was hoping to see today. My stomach felt as if it had dropped twenty feet. I turned around to see John Ambrose McClaren walking up to me with his friendly John Ambrose smile.

" Oh hey..," I waved back awkwardly while avoiding eye contact. Hopefully I didn't look as dumb as I feel right now.

" How have you been? I feel like I haven't talked to you much lately," I'm sure he didn't want to bring up the day at my house.

" I've been good, just staying busy with baking and volunteering at the nursing home still,"

" Staying busy is always good. Anyways I've been meaning to talk to you," John said awkwardly trying to make eye contact with me. I would occasionally look at him and look away. Flashback of my dream still haunting me at the moment.

" Talk about what?" Peter asked coming back with Kitty's favorite cereal in his hands. He placed the cereal down in the cart and put his arm around me territorial. It doesn't matter if John had a girlfriend or not, Peter will always see him as competition.

" Of course you would be here," John Ambrose rolled his eyes " Haven suggested that we should all double date sometime. That is if you are up for it," John was searching my face for reassurance of the situation.

" I'm not sure if.." I started before Peter butted in " Yeah of course we'll go. Just name the time and place,"

" What about you Lara Jean?" John asked, ignoring Peter.

" Yeah I'll just need to check my schedule," Ugh I hate Peter for putting me in this situation.

" Cool then!" John smiled, forgetting about the tension in the air " I'll let you know when Haven wants to do it," He added before walking off. As soon as he was away from hearing distance I shrugged Peter's arm off of my shoulder and turned to glare at him

" What was that about?" I asked him coldly

" I just agreed to go on a double date with John and your cousin. Is there a problem?" Peter replied taking a step back from me

" Of course not," I kept my reply short, not wanting to cause a scene at the grocery store. " Come on lets go before the ice cream melts,"

I stayed quiet the whole time were checking out and loading the groceries into the car. I was annoyed with Peter for agreeing to go on that double date, annoyed with John for running into him, and annoyed with myself for even having that stupid sex dream in the first place. Why did Peter have to turn into John in my dream? Ugh why didn't anyone tell me that relationships and feelings would make you feel this way.

" Can we talk about what's going on in your head?" Peter asked, afraid to push anymore buttons.

" There's nothing going on," I responded immediately

" Bullshit,"

" Peter,"

" I don't buy it Covey. You're never quiet during our car rides," Peter noted. He isn't wrong. I'm usually the inquisitive one in the relationship.

" Fine! You want to know what's been bothering me so much? I had a sex dream last night," I blurted, clenching my fists on my lap.

" That's all? That isn't a bad thing though Covey. It's perfectly normal to have sex dreams," Peter laughed, relaxed at the fact that I wasn't technically mad at him.

"I guess," I said regretting this conversation already. Peter could sense that I wasn't lightening up and started getting worried again. He has that look that he always has whenever he feels like he's going to get hurt.

" Was it about John Ambrose?" Peter gulped, staring intently at the road. He pulled into my neighborhood. I hate making him feel this way.

I didn't have the courage to talk, but I knew I had to. "Not at first,"

" Was I in it?" Peter asked as he pulled into my driveway

" Originally you were, then you weren't," I admitted

" Oh," Peter bit his lip and started. That dreadful "oh". Why did I have to open my big mouth. Why couldn't have kept it shut?

I already know what's going to happen next before it even happens. Peter is going to act all weird, the way he does when he's upset. I hate when he gets that way because he finds ways to avoid the conversation. It's also going to strain his relationship with John Ambrose even more.

" Is that why you didn't want me touching you earlier?" He asked, looking at me now. I bit my lip, still keeping my head down and nodded. "That makes sense," He sighed and popped open the trunk. " Let's hurry and put the groceries down before the ice cream melts,"

We got out and unloaded the groceries in silence. Not the comforting silence a couple can have, but the pain-staking silence that you can cut through with a knife. You can see the pain in his eyes, the pain that I caused him because of my stupid dream. I was unloading the last of the groceries from the shopping bags when I felt Peter's arms around my waist. As good as it finally felt to feel his touch without flinching, it still didn't feel right.

" Hey I think I'm going to help my mom at the store," Peter said, hugging me tight. I turned around so that I was facing him, with my arms around his neck.

" Are you sure you are okay?" I asked stroking his cheek with my thumb " I hope you know that I have no feelings for John Ambrose whatsoever," I reassured him.

" I know Covey," Peter sighed and tried to give me a small smile " I still don't like the fact that he's dating your cousin as much as you do, but I'm just glad that he isn't chasing after you,"

I smiled at him as I heard Peter's phone go off in his pocket. Peter took one arm from around my waist and took his phone out to check it.

" I have to go now Covey. Call you later?" Peter kissed my cheek before I could get my lips to his.

Yeah of course, I'll walk you out," I tried to hide how upset I was at aloofness. I walked ahead of Peter so I could open the door for him . He took me in his arms and hugged me one last time before leaving. Maybe working at the store and giving himself time to cool off will help him feel better. I tried not to think too much into it or else it would eat at me more. I took my phone out and decided to leave Peter a text for him to get to for when he gets home

 **Thank you so much for going grocery shopping with me. Sorry about the awkwardness at the store and the car. Drive safe.**

I decided to try to clear my mind by unloading the groceries and get dinner started. It was still three o' clock pretty early for dinner, but I decided if I cook Chicken Parmesan in the crockpot, it will be ready for dinner. I rummaged around the kitchen looking for ingredients for my recipe when I heard the front door open. I heard the shuffling of paws coming from Jamie-Foxx Pickle and Simone. I could smell the scent of earth on their fur.

" I'm home!" Kitty called out

" In the kitchen!" I called out to her as I was cutting up the onions, garlic, and mushrooms.

" Great you went to the groceries," Kitty noticed as she saw the empty shopping bags on the island. She made her way to the fridge and grabbed a Fresca and then headed towards her favorite spot on the couch. It's a mystery how Kitty stays so small when all she does is sit on the couch all day and eat junk food.

" Where's Peter?" Kitty asked, keeping her eyes glued to her phone.

"He had to go help his mom out at the store after we went grocery shopping," I replied as I continued on with my cooking.

" Is he coming over for dinner later?" Kitty asked hopeful. " I was hoping he could bring his switch so we could play Super Smash Bros,"

" I don't believe so," I shrugged while I was rinsing the chicken. " don't go texting him to come over either Kitty,"

" Whatever, I'll probably go over there after dinner then. Owen can play with us as well," Kitty replied

" Don't do that either! Besides Peter has a life and his own family to hang out with outside of our relationship," I replied, annoyed at her.

" Uh huh," Kitty replied while typing something on her phone.

" Kitty please don't text him."

" I'm not,"

I rolled my eyes at my younger sister and turned my attention back to the crockpot. I poured the tomato sauce, mixed in the chopped vegetables, and placed the chicken in the crockpot to cook for three hours. I cleaned up the cutting board and knife before I headed to the couch to sit with Kitty. I was so absorbed with the cooking that I didn't even notice my phone. I grabbed my phone from my purse before heading over to the living room to see if Peter had texted me. I clicked my phone on and there was just the picture of Peter and I napping on the couch staring back at me. No response. I figured he was busy, but he usually tries to text me as much as he can. I tried not to think too much into it. It's not like I won't see him later or hear from him later.

" How was walking the dogs with Xavier? " I asked trying not to sound too inquisitive.

" It was good I guess. He taught Jamie how play dead," Kitty said while still glued to her phone, It was going off like crazy.

" Oh wow that's great. Jamie must really like Xavier," I put emphasis on the word like.

" Yeah he really does," Her petite fingers are typing away after each notification she's getting

" Who are you texting?" I asked a little annoyed that she hasn't really looked at me since going to the kitchen

" Brielle. She's telling me all about her new boyfriend," Kitty said as she got up. " I think I'm going to take a shower and a nap. I'm tired. Simone, Jamie lets go upstairs,"

" Alright, I'll be down here," I sighed as she and the dogs left me. Here I am again, alone with my thoughts. My text tone went off and I looked at it hurriedly hoping that it was Peter finally responding. My face fell immediately when I saw that it was only Pammy.

 **Hey girl! What are you doing?**

I haven't seen Pammy since the Memorial Day party at Gabe's house. Like Peter and I, she's been hanging out a lot with Darrell so we haven't had time for each other lately.

 **I just put Chicken Parmesan in the crockpot for dinner. What about you?**

 **Want a girl's night out with me and Lucas?**

I laughed and shook my head at her text. We weren't twenty-one yet, but these two got ahold of fake id's that they always use at bars and restaurants. They tried to convince me to use Margot's old license as a fake id, but knowing me, I would get caught and be looked down at from Daddy and Margot for even trying to pass as her. Besides her old license expired the day she turned twenty-one.

 **Let me guess you guys need a DD**? I texted back

 **No we are just going to be drinking at my house! Besides you can always spend the night if you get too tipsy** Pammy texted back with a bunch of emojis of the face with the halo on top.

I thought about the day I've had with Peter and the dream and the conversation I've had with Chris and it's just making me more anxious for Peter to text or call me. Besides I should hang out with friends outside of Peter, Gabe, and Darrell

 **Fine I'll do it**

 **Mkayy. Meet at my house at 9**

* * *

" Okay how about we play a game of Truth or Drink," Pammy asked as she was sipping on her cocktail.

When I got to Pammy's house after dinner, her and Lucas were half a bottle of Barefoot Moscato in on their drinking. They forced me to catch up with them so we could all talk without anything holding us back. I was a little more willing to drink with them when Peter finally replied to my text from earlier with a " No problem Covey. It's cool I'll get over it," after not responding for three hours. When he does stuff like that it makes me wished I was more of a drinker.

" Oh god. What is that ?" my eyes grew at the name of the game

" You're going to be a junior in college and you've never played a game or Drink?" Pammy gasped

I shook my head. I'm not really much of a party girl or a drinker. I'll occasionally drink with KSA, when Katrina and I have wine nights in the apartment, or when I'll go to a party with Peter, but nothing more than one drink. The only time I go all out is when I know I won't be driving or when Peter is there to take care of me.

" Pammy Lara Jean is a good girl. She doesn't need drinks to have a good time," Lucas defended

" Well the rule in this sleepover is that you have to drink," Pammy giggled as she got up. It's been thirty minutes since I got here and we already down the Moscato. Pammy left the room for a little bit and came back in with a bottle of Mango Ciroc.

" So the object of the game is pretty much like truth or dare, but instead of dare you have to drink if you can't answer the question," Pammy sat back down on the floor with us and poured the Ciroc in three shot glasses. She handed Lucas his shot, which he took eagerly, and handed me the third shot glass.

" Please don't make me take shots Pammy," I moaned in horror. The night of Peter's 20th birthday party came to mind. Peter had asked me to take shots with him for his birthday, which I agreed to since they were jello shots and you could barely taste the alcohol. After my fifth one the last thing I remembered was spending the night in Peter's apartment bathroom

" Please Lara Jean? I'll let you dilute your drink with orange juice if needed," Pammy asked while batting her lashes at me

" Ugh I swear Pammy you are more of an enabler than Peter," I jokingly rolled my eyes at her

" Alright, Fun LJ is joining us tonight," Lucas wooed

The game started with Pammy asking simple questions like " When did you lose your virginity," or " what was the farthest you have gone with a guy." With that question Lucas chose to drink which caused both Pammy and I to giggle. I was asked questions like " What was the weirdest place you and Peter have done it," which I told them about the time that Peter and I had sex in the house while Kitty and her friend were over. They also asked me if I would ever let Peter go down on me, which I just nodded my head quietly. I know they just tried to keep it a little PG for me

"Big deal," Pammy said to my answer " I've had sex with Darrell while his brother was in the other room,"

"Pammy that's so gross!"

" Hey when I need it, I get it," Pammy winked at me

I had a lot more fun with this game than I thought I would. We got Lucas to confess how much was his body count and if he would rather be on top or the bottom.

" Lara Jean," Lucas gave me a malicious grin. " Have you ever had a sex dream about another guy before?"

My face grew red as I tried to hide behind my shot glass. The look on Pammy's and Lucas' face killed me even more.

"What?! Who?!" They both asked eagerly

" No no no I drank my shot so I don't have to answer!," I stated in a matter of fact tone

" Please?!" they both whined in unison.

" If we stop playing than will you tell us?" Pammy begged.

Peter's ringtone on my phone rang out just in time. Saved by the bell I thought to myself

" I would love to but my bae is calling me," I grinned, I'll admit I'm a little tipsy right now.

"Hello Peter," I said in a flirty voice when I answered the phone.

" Hey what are you doing?" Peter asked I could hear Gabe in the background making kissing noises and yelling " I love you Lara Jean!"

"So you ignore me all day and now you want to know what I'm doing" I asked in a mocking tone " Also tell Gabe I love him too,"

" I was busy. I dropped by earlier to see you but Kitty told me you were out. So where are you?" Peter asked

" Oh. Well you should have called me before coming over," I said slightly annoyed and giggled "I'm just with Lucas and Pammy. We're having girls night!"

" How long will you be with them?" Peter asked

" I'm not too sure yet. Maybe tomorrow or maybe tonight. We're playing a drinking game if you want you boys join us,"

" Are you drunk Covey?" Peter asked sternly

" Not at all. Why do you ask Kavinksy?," I tried to glare at Pammy and Lucas while they are laughing in the background

" Well you never call me Kavinsky and I've heard you so many times when drunk. By the sounds of it you are," Peter's voice got a little stern

" Okay so maybe I am. Not like I'm driving," I gave him that same matter of fact tone that I gave Pammy and Lucas earlier.

" To hell you are. Don't go anywhere. I'm coming to pick you up."

" I'm fine Peturrr," I slurred " I'll just spend the night with Pammy,"

" Is Pammy or Lucas going to take care of you while you spend your whole night hurling," He has a point. But the cold tiles of the bathroom actually feels good when you are drunk

" We'll take care of each other okay Dad. I gotta go!," I giggled and hung up. I know I will definitely get crap for that tomorrow. Pammy and Lucas were dying laughing by the time that I got off of the phone. Peter gets so loud when he's mad that anyone could hear him on the phone

" Now where were we," I said pouring myself another shot.

" You were going to tell us all about your sex dream," Lucas grinned

" Do I have to?" I whined

" Well I can tell by that conversation that you already told Peter," Lucas assumed

" How did you?" I gasped

" I know you pretty well by now Lara Jean. The first rule about sex dreams is to not tell your boyfriend who you are having a sex dream about unless it's about him," He shaking his head

" This was the first time it's happened!"

" I agree with Lucas," Pammy nodded " I have sex dreams about celebrities all the time and I don't tell Darrell,"

" It's not like that's going to happen and it wasn't about someone he doesn't like," I blurted but covered my mouth as soon as I had said it.

" It was about John Ambrose was it?" Pammy asked in shocked. Everyone that knows Peter and I knows that Peter's sworn enemy is John Ambrose.

" I don't blame you though. He's pretty hot," Lucas drooled

I nodded and horror. " Not originally. At first it was about Peter and then all of a sudden John Ambrose was there," I was already getting flustered talking about it. My stomach started churning as I was continuing the story.

" Wait hold on," Pammy said as she got another bottle of Moscato from under her bed

" How much alcohol do you have Pammy?" I asked hoping to change the subject

" Don't change the subject Lara Jean," Pammy said as she handed each other us a glass of Moscato.

" I woke up as soon as I saw his face so nothing really happened," I finished " But it's gotten me all weird with Peter and now he's a little mad at me,"

" Oh Lara Jean you are so innocent," Lucas shook his head " I doubt Peter is more annoyed with John Ambrose than he is with you. You hurt his ego more than you hurt his feelings. For guys that's a lot worst,"

" Especially since he will always see John Ambrose as competition," Pammy added

" I guess you're both right," I felt a little better finally able to talk it all out, but my stomach was still churning, and not in an anxious way either. I stared at my refilled Moscato glass and took a swig of it to finish it.

" So do you still have any feelings for John Ambrose?" Lucas asked

" Not at all! I stopped liking him when Peter made that grand gesture on my birthday junior year" I asked as I curled my legs to my stomach.

" Then that settles it. all you have to do is apologize to him with sex," Pammy giggled " It works with Darrell all the time,"

" Pammy!" I groaned and got up, feeling a slight head rush. " I have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back," I walked out of Pammy's room and made my way to the bathroom. Maybe I shouldn't have had that last glass of Moscato or all of those shots. I'm probably going to regret it in a few minutes. The room was spinning with each step I took. I arrived to the bathroom and made it to the toilet before I puked my guts out.

I didn't know how long I was in there when I heard a knock on the door. I was afraid that it was going to be Peter but instead I heard Lucas' voice.

" Lara Jean are you okay?" Lucas asked

" Not really, Just give me thirty minutes or so just to get passed this," I heaved as I laid my head down on the linoleum floor. The icy feeling on the floor felt so good on my cheek. After ten minutes has passed I heard the doorbell ring.

" Where is she?" I could hear Peter's voice as he was making his way up the stairs

" She's in the bathroom but she's fine. I promise," Lucas tried to reassure him.

There was an eager knock on the door and voice on the other side saying " Lara Jean it's me. Can I come in,"

" No I don't want you to see me this way," I cried. Not that he hasn't seen me drunk before, but never this badly. He didn't care that I didn't want him in there because he opened the door anyways. I was laying on the floor of the bathroom when Peter busted in the bathroom.

" Shit Covey," Peter breathed as he kneeled so that he was close to me. I hid my face in my hands, ashamed that he had to see me this way.

" No don't look at me I'm all gross," I groaned. My breath and hair smell like vomit while my face was all red from the Asian glow. Peter's face didn't give away if he was bothered by the smell or not.

" Come on Lara Jean I have to get you home and sober or else your dad will kill you," Peter took me up in his arms with ease and lead me out of the bathroom.

" But what about Lucas and Pammy? I can't leave them,"

" Pammy will understand. She's passed out on her bed and Lucas lives down the street" Peter reassured me but there was nothing sweet or nice about his tone.

"Lucas," I called out as Peter whisked me down the stairs. " Please tell Pammy I'm sorry for leaving,"

" I will. Feel better Lara Jean," Lucas called out.

Gabe was waiting for us by Peter's audi with his arms crossed. " Damn Covey you look like shit,"

" Shut the fuck up Gabe," Peter growled at him

" I didn't mean that she looked ugly, just that.. I mean look at her,"

I groaned "What is Gabe doing here?"

" He's going to drive your car home while I drive you in my car," Peter sat me down in the passenger seat and buckled my seat belt before me before getting settled on his side.

" Tell him to be careful!" I rolled down my window and called out to him.

" Covey he'll be fine," Peter groaned and massaged his temples. " We do this all the time at UVA,"

" Can we please get some French fries?," I asked him ask I snuggled to the chair

" There are literally no fast food places opened to get french fries,"

" We can always buy some at Walmart! I'll cook it at my house,"

" I already got something for you anyways," Peter opened his glove compartment and pulled out peanut butter crackers and a black cherry soda.

" Thanks," I said as I took both the crackers and the soda from him. He knows when I feel lightheaded that I always have to drink a sugary carbonated drink over water.

" Just take a nap when you're done and I'll wake you when we get there," Peter said when he pulled out of Pammy's drive way and that was the last thing I remembered before falling asleep.

The next day I morning I woke up in my with a splitting headache. I looked around for Peter wondering if he had spent the night. I hope he wouldn't have since Daddy is off, but I was hoping he would drop by to see if I was okay. I looked over at my beside table to see a bottle of Gatorade, a breakfast burrito, and a note from Peter.

Lara Jean,

Here is some hangover food and something to keep you hydrated.

Love Peter

Even when Peter is mad, he still does sweet things for me. Which makes me feel even worst about myself. I didn't even noticed that I wasn't even wearing the clothes from the night before. My face scrunched in horror realizing that Peter must have changed my clothes while I was drunk. I tried to brush through my hair forgetting there was bits of vomit in it. Gross. Now I have to wash up and definitely wash my bedsheets. I looked over at my phone to see if he texted after that but there was nothing. I know the next best person to text when Peter is mad.

 **Hey I'm really sorry about last night. How's Peter?** I texted Gabe. Gabe and I had gotten pretty close during UVA Lacrosse season. He was always the one to sit beside me at every home game. While waiting for a reply, I decided to utilize this time to drink the Gatorade and eat the burrito. It took five minutes:

 **He's pretty heated still, but I don't think it's towards you than it is towards himself. It's cool, I'm used to seeing drunk people all the time at the UVA frat parties**

 **How long should I wait to talk to him?**

 **I'd wait until lunch time.**

Then that is what I'll do. Besides, I have a lot of laundry to do anyways to make sure to clean all the vomit off of my clothes and my hair. I also texted Pammy and Lucas to see how hungover they were. They can handle their liquor more than I could so they texted me back saying that they were fine.

I decided to finally get up and get all the vomit out of me hair. As I headed towards the bathroom I ran into Daddy as he was walking towards the stairs.

" Woah rough night?" Daddy teased me as he looked at my hair

" You don't even want to know," I groaned

" I'm just glad that Peter got you home safe. He dropped by earlier to bring you breakfast did you see that?" Daddy asked

" Yeah. It was really nice of him to do that. I might drop by their later to thank him," I told him

" Tell him I said thanks too. He's a good guy Lara Jean. Please keep him around," Daddy winked. I'm not sure if he was kidding or not.

I made my way into the bathroom and checked out myself in the mirror. It was disheveled and tangled from last night. I look down at the ring that Peter had got me and sighed. I might as well wash this as well. I took out the ring and lightly washed it with anti-bacterial soap and sat it down on the counter. I have to remind myself to buy something to clean it with later.

I've spent all afternoon washing laundry and texting all calling Peter. Every time I called or texted him, he would either leave me on read or reject my call. Why in the world was he so pissed for? I knew I shouldn't have told him about my dream. As much as Peter freaks out, I knew he would totally take this dream out of proportion. But we did promise each other to be honest with how we are feeling. Why did I have to run into John Ambrose yesterday and why did I have to get drunk last night? I know what I'll do, go check with him at his house. He'll have to talk to me if his mom is there.

Kitty and I were in the kitchen baking my sin brownies when she asked " So I heard Peter was here earlier,"

" Yeah he just came to drop breakfast off and he had to go to the shop," I covered. Which wasn't true. I didn't want her knowing that he was mad at me

" Is he coming over later? He just texted me saying that he got off of work," Kitty said as she took a brownie off the cooling rack

" Why are you guys texting?" I asked a little annoyed that he could text my sister and not. That's it I'm not going to take this silence anymore. I took my apron off and hung it on it's hook by the pantry door. I checked my reflection near the mirror by the front door when Kitty noticed what I was doing.

"Where are you going?" Kitty asked.

" I'm going to Peter's," I told her

" Can I go too?"

" No!"

" Why not?"

" I have to talk to him that's why,"

" About what?" Kitty said crossing her arms

" Don't worry about it," I said smiling on the inside that I could use one of her lines against her " We'll do something with you and Owen next time. I promise,"

" I'll hold you guys to that,"

I took my keys from the key holder and headed out of the door. Where do I start first? I would start with his apartment but if he isn't there and his roommates were it would just be me awkwardly waiting for him to get there. At least if Mrs. Kavinsky is home I can talk to her until Peter gets home. My heart skipped a beat as I pulled up at Peter's house and saw that his black audi was parked in the driveway. Should I text him to go outside or should I just go up there to ring the doorbell? I took out my phone to see if he had texted me while I was driving, no luck sadly. Maybe I'll text him instead.

 **Peter I'm outside of your house, please come outside**

I sighed as I pressed the send button

I was so lost in thought that tapping on my car window startled me, I turned around hoping to see Peter but it was just Owen.

" What are you doing here Lara Jean and where is Peter?" Owen asked with a puzzled look on his face.

" Is he not home," I asked with the same puzzled look as I eyed his car

" I thought Peter was with you," Owen lifted one eyebrow "He texted me and my mom saying you picked him up and he was at your house," Owen said pulling out his phone and showing me the message. There it was clearly reading " Hey I won't be home for dinner. I'm going to be with Lara Jean," I tried to look at the time that the message was sent but I would have to swipe right on the imessage to look.

" What time did he send that ?" I asked.

Owen turned his phone around to check still confused as to what was going on " He sent it thirty minutes ago,"

Thirty minutes ago?! I've been trying to message and call him this whole time and still told his family that he was with me. I haven't heard from him all day! I get that he's still upset about the sex dream, and having to take care of my drunk self all night, but I didn't he would be that me to want to avoid me!

" Can you call him?" I tried to ask calmly

" Why can't you call him from your phone?" Owen groaned. He's so similar to Peter that it's not even funny

" Please Owen," I begged, looking at him like I was going to cry, the same look I give Peter when I really want something. Owen took a step back and pressed the green call button on his iphone. This look really does wonders to the Kavinsky boys.

" What do you want?," I can hear Peter clearly annoyed on the other line

" Wanna tell me why you told mom and I that you were with Lara Jean,"

" Let me guess.. you are with her right now?"

" Yup and she really wants to talk to you so I'll give her the phone now," Owen said and gave me the phone

" Wait Owen-,"

" Peter where are you?" I asked

" I'm with Gabe. Why are you at my house?" Peter asked confused

" I wanted to talk to you, but obviously you are busy so I'll let you go back to Gabe" I said handing the phone back to Owen without wanting to hear what Peter will say next.

" Owen can you please put Lara Jean on the phone?," Peter groaned

" No," Owen rolled his eyes at his brother " Why don't you just call her yourself?"

" Owen please-," Peter begged before Owen hung up. He groaned and looked at me half annoyed, half apologetic "He's in deep shit isn't he?"

I shook my head and gave him a small smile " Not entirely, but I am annoyed that he doesn't like to talk things out."

"What were you guys fighting about anyways?"

I couldn't help but blush at Owen's question. He usually isn't this invested in our relationship. " Oh it was just a small jealously spat," I admitted. He doesn't really need to know the reason why.

" Yeah," Owen scratched the back of his head " Peter always got that way with when he was dating Gen. But she always flaunted guys in front of him, making him like a bad boyfriend"

His last comment made me forget about how annoyed I was with Peter and made me feel guilty again. No wonder he's always so inquisitive about John Ambrose. I bet Gen bragged about guys in front of him even when they were broken up. I don't want to be anything like Gen. He has nothing to worry about, I have no feelings for anybody but him.

" I never mean to make him feel jealous or angry with any of my guy friends," I admitted feeling guilty

" He probably knows that, but this is Peter the six-foot man-child we are talking about," Owen tried to laugh to make me feel better. It's kind of nice being able to talk to Owen this way. Well when he isn't being an annoying teenager.

" You aren't wrong about him being a man-child," I laughed agreeing with Owen.

My phone finally started buzzing in my hand; The selfie Peter and I took at his first UVA college game popped up.

" You should probably get that," Owen suggested as he saw the picture as well.

" This isn't a conversation that I want to have over the phone. I'll call him when I get home. We have to settle this in person,"

" Ah gotcha. Well I hope everything works itself out? I like you with my brother. You make him less of an asshole," Owen grinned slightly. " But don't tell him I told you that or that we had his meaningful conversation or else I'll deny it,"

" What meaningful conversation?" I returned his grin. Owen rolled his eyes at me but laughed. I didn't want to hold him up too much longer " Thanks for the advice,"

" Anytime," Owen said as he turned around and headed towards his house.

I drove home trying to think about what I would say when I see Peter. I want to make sure that we were both level headed when we have this talk. This past two days have just been my own personal hell that I didn't even ask for, for a dream that I had no control over! Either way, I know I have a lot of apologizing that I have to do as well. Although Peter lives ten minutes away from me, It felt like a lot longer as I was going through my apology in my head. I put my car on park and made my way inside of the house. Kitty was in her usual spot in the living room and Margot was in the kitchen on her laptop.

" Do you guys want to hang out? Maybe get some Froyo?" I asked not really wanting to be home.

" Sorry we got plans," Margot replied quickly as she shut her laptop shut

" What happened to your date with Peter?" Kitty pried

" We had to reschedule. His mom had a work emergency that she needed him for,"

" Ah I knew it," Kitty replied

" Kitty come on we are going to be late," Margot warned as she headed towards the door.

" Where are you guys going?"

" We are going to a movie with Josh," Kitty replied as she got up to get her shoes on " Want to come?"

" Kitty the tickets are sold out and it's a silly Star Wars movie that Lara Jean doesn't like," Margot interjected " Now come on lets go,"

" Alright, hold your tits Margot,"

" Katherine!"

Margot and Kitty were talking about Kitty's choice of words as they made their way out of the door. I sighed wishing I had hung out with them instead of try to make amends with Peter. There was nothing to do downstairs and I'm not in a baking mood. Maybe I have a book that I could read upstairs while I wait for them to come home. I took the stairs two at a time and made my way to the room humming.

When I opened up door of my room I looked around and saw a vase of roses on my bedside table and Peter sitting on the edge of my bed

" I'm so sorry for being such an ass," Peter got up from his place on the bed and walked over to me and pulled me into his arms.

 _A/n: LIKE I SAID EARLIER: I'm so sorry for the really late update again. I'm so excited to start writing for fun again instead of writing for school. What do you guys think about the newest additions to the cast?! I really love Ross Butler! He always plays a jock in whatever he does it seems. I hope that he's playing Gabe Rivera! I'm not really sure how I feel about the replacement of John Ambrose. I'm a go by the book person and he isn't blonde D:. But I trust Jenny Han and the directors so I really hope this next movie will be amazing!_


	10. Chapter 9

_OMG I AM SO SORRY GUYS. I have been so busy with Physical Therapist Assistant school that it's kept me from writing. I miss writing and I miss all you guys so much. I want to thank you all so much for always responding to my questions, giving me feedback, and showing me some love in the reviews. I believe the fans are what makes the authors such great writers. I would love to send a shout out to my regular reviews and a new one, April. Your words mean so much to me and I really appreciate the feedback on what you guys want to see. The reason why I made Peter such a softie is because he's gotten his heartbroken so many times, most guys are either jerks about it or submissive to their next relationship, with Lara Jean I've seen him as very submissive, but that doesn't mean she can take advantage of it either ;). Anyways, enough rambling… time for the continuation!_

 _" Do you guys want to hang out? Maybe get some Froyo?" I asked not really wanting to be home._

 _" Sorry we've got plans," Margot replied quickly as she shut her laptop shut_

 _" What happened to your date with Peter?" Kitty pried_

 _" We had to reschedule. His mom had a work emergency that she needed him for,"_

 _" Ah I knew it," Kitty replied_

 _" Kitty come on we are going to be late," Margot warned as she headed towards the door._

 _" Where are you guys going?"_

 _" We are going to a movie with Josh," Kitty replied as she got up to get her shoes on " Want to come?"_

 _" Kitty the tickets are sold out and it's a silly Star Wars movie that Lara Jean doesn't like," Margot interjected " Now come on lets go,"_

 _" Alright, hold your tits Margot,"_

 _" Katherine!"_

 _Margot and Kitty were arguing about Kitty's choice of words as they made their way out of the door. I sighed wishing I had hung out with them instead of try to make amends with Peter. There was nothing to do downstairs and I'm not in a baking mood. Maybe I have a book that I could read upstairs while I wait for them to come home. I took the stairs two at a time and made my way to the room humming._

 _When I opened up door of my room I looked around and saw a vase of roses on my bedside table and Peter sitting on the edge of my bed_

 _" I'm so sorry for being such an ass," Peter got up from his place on the bed and walked over to me and pulled me into his arms._

" What are you doing here Peter and where's your car?" I asked slightly confused as I pulled away from him.

" At my apartment? Gabe picked me up from there when we went to work out this morning" Peter admitted " We were at the diner when I got off the phone with you. He told me I needed to talk to you so we didn't have time to go get my car,"

" Oh so you only want to talk because Gabe said that we had to sort this out,"

" No! It's not like that,"

" Then what is it Peter?"

" I wasn't really hanging out hanging out with him. We were at the gym together and he was just helping me on what to say to you without making a complete ass of myself," :Peter admitted.

My mind reverted back to when I texted Gabe earlier. Gabe was surprisingly our biggest supporter in our relationship and he isn't afraid to call any of us out if we are being unreasonable.

" Yeah? Well how did that go?" I crossed my arms.

" He told me I was being a little bitch- his words not mine- and that I should swallow my pride and actually talk to you," Peter changed his wording as soon as he saw my facial reaction to what Gabe said.

" Sounds pretty fair,"

" But he also said that the stunt you pulled yesterday wasn't all that fair either,"

" That wasn't a stunt!" I retorted

" Really Lara Jean? You almost never get drunk," Peter lifted an eyebrow at me

" Well there's a first time for everything," I said rolling my eyes. " So talk, since that's what you are here for," I urged him.

Peter took a deep breath and took my hand and sat me down on the bed. "First of all I really want to say that I'm sorry for reacting the way that I acted. I believe you when you say that you don't have feelings for John Ambrose, but you have to realize that a guy doesn't like hearing that their girlfriend has sex dreams of anyone that isn't them,"

" I know that Peter, but it's not like I can control my dreams like that,"

" Covey I understand that, and I know it happens. I overreacted to it and I'm very sorry for that and all that I've put you through the past twenty-four hours. Please forgive me," Peter begged with those soft eyes that I can't help but melt over.

" I forgive you for that, but I don't forgive the way that you've acted,"

" But you did-," Peter started but I put my hand up to stop him

" Let me finish first then we can talk about that," I assured him " Peter we're in college now, if you want me in your future the way you say you do, you can't keep shutting me out and ignoring me every time I've upset you,"

" I know," Peter agreed softly " That's something I really need to work on. I mainly do it because I'm afraid to be around you when I'm mad or upset. I don't want you seeing me that way,"

" Peter I've seen you mad before,"

"You've seen me mad at other people, but not you Covey," He took my hands and squeezed it " I don't want to accidentally blow up on you and hurt you because of something I would have said in anger. I never want you to be upset because of me."

" But doing that only upsets me even more making it seem like I'm doing something wrong," I bit my lip to try to keep my composure.

" I know that now and I promise you that I won't do that again, I promise okay?" Peter put both of my hands to his lips and kissed it " you can count on that Covey,"

" Okay I believe you," I agreed " Thank you,"

"Your welcome," Peter gave me a small smile of reassurance and then bit his lip. " Can I talk now?" I knew he wasn't going to let go of what happened last night.

" Do you have to?" I groaned, leaning forward until my forehead landed on his chest. Peter cupped my chin and lifted my head up so that I was looking up at him.

" You have to realize Lara Jean that the stunt that you pulled at Pammy's really pissed me off," Peter sighed

" I know Peter but I was with friends and it's not like I was going to drive and I really needed to blow off some steam due to you," I defended, but backed off when I saw him flinch for bringing that back up " Sorry,"

" I understand and I trust that you wouldn't have done anything stupid with Pammy and Lucas, but I just kept thinking about if something like this were to happen when we are back at school and I can't be at Chapel Hill in a matter of time to take care of you, or worst if someone takes advantage of you,"

" Peter when have I ever gone to a Chapel Hill party and gotten drunk?" I asked without trying to sound shock that he would think of such thing.

" I know that you haven't, but what if? That scares the hell out of me,"

" Peter," I sighed and grabbed his face in my hands " I won't do something like that unless you or Katrina is there to take care of me," I assured him

Peter looked me in the eyes sighed " Promise?"

" I promise,"

Peter pulled me back to him and kissed my forehead " Thank you Covey,"

"You know Peter we can't keep having this same fight over John Ambrose McClaren," I really want this to be the last time we fight over John Ambrose. Every bad fight we've ever had is either over him or Gen and I'm really tired of it.

" I know Covey. I'm always going to be jealous of McClaren, but I know that you being with me means that I'm the one that you want," He assured me. " Just.. next time you have a sex dream that isn't about me, I would rather not know,"

" Peter," I groaned half-jokingly " I don't think I would want for that to happen at," I shook my head at him " besides it doesn't compare to the real thing,"

" Oh yeah?" Peter asked me with a smirk. I swear this boy has a switch that turns him on real quick

" Peter really? How are you turned on so quick?" I asked turning red

" Covey any time I'm around you I'm always slightly turned on,"

" Oh okay" I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

" I'm serious though. Everything about you is sexy to me," Peter looked at me with wanting eyes and leaned towards me.

" Mhm, sure it is,"

" Oh if you only saw yourself the way I see you Covey," Peter put his hand on my thigh and rubbed it looking for confirmation to go further.

" How do you see me?" I asked while scooting closer to him.

" Your eyes, you hair," He said as he kissed my forehead and the side of the face near my right eye. " your hands" He said kissing the hand with his ring on it. " The way you pout when I catch you off guard," He pecked me on the lips " your neck," He dug his face in my neck and placed light kisses on it.

" Peter," I sighed

" The way you say my name," He continued as he nibbled on my neck.

" What about it," I asked out of curiosity and wanting.

" Oh you have no idea what it does to me Covey,"

" I can show you better than I can tell you," He said as he started sucking on my neck.

" Then show me,"

Peter looked up at me, most likely for affirmation before going forward. " Yeah?"

" Yeah," I nodded.

In a matter of seconds, Peter pulled me on top of him and kissed me. His tongue slid on the bottom of my lip, asking to go inside. I parted my lips eager to have his tongue on mine. His hands roamed down my sides and onto my butt, squeezing it lightly. I yelped a little in shock and Peter chuckled on my lips.

" Exactly what I meant about catching you off guard," He muttered and continued to kissing me.

I made a face at him and tugged on his shirt lightly. " Shut up Kavinsky," I said taking his shirt off. Peter lifted me up in his arms and placed me down gently on my back. He lifted up the bottom of my shirt, and took my shirt off in one swift movement. From then he started placing small kisses down my neck and stomach, tracing his hands down to the waistband of my skirt. He slowly pulled my skirt down as well as my underwear, leaving me only in my bra. Peter reached into the pocket of his shorts and pulled a condom out.

" You had that with you?!" I asked a little shocked. " Did you really think we were going to have sex today?"

" Not really, but I always have it on me when I'm with you Covey," He winked down at me.

" Only you Peter Kavinsky," I rolled my eyes at him. Peter quickly took his shorts off and ripped the condom open with his mouth. While he was fumbling to get the condom on I couldn't help be stare at his abs. These summer workouts has been really good to his body this season.

" Eyes up here Covey." Peter grinned and cupped my chin in his hand. He gave me a longing look before he kissed me again. As me put more of his weight on me, I could feel how hard he was. I couldn't help but let a moan escape at the touch. Peter continued to tease me with himself before finally entering me, causing me to moan louder. His hands made their way towards my bra unhooked it. Peter cupped my breast with his hand and pinched it slightly. He has no idea what he does to be sometimes. As he continued to play with my breast, he his hips started thrusting against me, digging himself deeper in me. In and out, his body moved in sync with mine. Each thrust, leaving me wanting him more.

After a while Peter grew still for a moment and groaned really loudly. " Fuck" He said and pulled out. He grabbed the condom and tied it, getting out of the bed to toss it in the trash can. I laid in bed trying to registered what really happened. I never thought something like that would happen in my own bedroom, let alone my parents house.

Peter made his way back to the bed and pulled me to his chest " So you still thing it's better in real life?" Peter asked kissing the top of my head.

" So much better" I smirked at him and placed a kiss on his chest.

" We're home!"

" Hey Dad!" The voices of my family made my eyes shoot wide open. I didn't even realize that Peter and I had fallen asleep.

" Peter wake up!" I said shaking him awake " My dad is home."

" Oh shit," Peter said scrambling off the bed trying to find his clothes. " We totally lost track of time"

I ran to the door and opened it slightly "I'll be down in a minute!" I turned around and headed to the mirror to make sure that my hair wasn't all over the place. Peter handed me the outfit I was wearing earlier and checked his own hair out in the mirror.

" Why are you fixing yourself out? Your hair looks decent even if it's bed hair,"

" Covey, I'm about to go downstairs and face a guy whose daughter I just slept in his own house. I have to make sure he doesn't suspect a thing,"

" Well then you are going to go back outside and come through the front door," There is no way my dad is going to forgive us if we walk downstairs together like this.

" Come on, your dad loves me," Peter grinned

" He may love you, but you may not survive if he suspects that we did anything upstairs," I said putting on the rest of my clothes and shoved Peter towards the window he entered in.

" Covey your neck!" Peter gasped and pushed my neck to the side. He placed his finger on my neck and rubbed it slightly.

" What is it?!" I asked worried and looked in the mirror. There it was, a noticeable hickey right on the side of my neck. " Peter! Now my dad will actually kill you." I shouted and covered my mouth, hoping they didn't hear me downstairs.

" Can't you put a scarf on it?" Peter suggested and tried not to hide a grin of pleasure. He's mocking me right now.

"In the middle of summer? That's not going to happen," I rolled my eyes at him

" How about makeup, Gen used to do it all the time," Now he's asking for me to kill him.

" Not helping Peter," I glared at him. " I'll worry about this. You worry about getting your car and coming back without my dad suspecting a thing"

" Covey relax!" He held both of my shoulders and bent his head down to look at me. "We'll cover this up and tell your dad that you picked me up from my mom's shop. Trust me on this,"

" Okay," I sighed. I'm not one for too much make up, but this is an emergency. I grabbed my Maybelline powder foundation and a make-up brush and tried brushing some foundation on the bruise. I tried to apply a few coats and it you can still tell there was a hickey on my neck.

" it's not working Peter!" I groaned desperately.

" Try adding other things to it" Peter suggested

" I've already applied a few coats," I sighed and got up " Stay here, I'm going to ask Margot for help," Peter backed up onto the bed and sat with his hands up like a dog " Yes ma'am"

I rolled my eyes and laughed at him. I left the room and headed towards Margot's. Oh I really hope that her are Kitty are home by now. " Margot are you busy?" I asked knocking on her door

" No I'm not, come on in" Margot yelled from inside. I opened the door and walked in, hoping she wouldn't suspect a thing. Margot was on her laptop typing up a storm, probably trying to update her resume again. I told Margot she was crazy trying to work while attend grad school at the same time. But that's just the Margot in her, always doing more than one thing at a time.

" I really need your help with something," I asked

" Yeah what is it?" Margot said looking up from her laptop at me and then directed her eyes towards my neck " What did Peter do?!"

" I don't know! I tried covering it up with foundation, but it's not going away!" I groaned.

" Come here," Margot said getting up and directed me towards her vanity. I walked over and plopped in the chair in front of the vanity. Margot reached in her make-up drawer and pulled out some foundation. " It didn't work for you because you need a heavier liquid foundation to cover a bruise like this up,"

" Do we have to?" I groaned. I hate feeling like I'm caking myself with make-up, let alone wearing it in the first place. I'm more about the natural look. That and I'm too lazy to spend more time than needed to put on make-up.

" Yes Lara Jean,"

" Fine," I gave up.

" I left you guys alone because Peter told me he really needed to apologize to you for something, not for you guys to fool around at the house," Margot lectured

" I know that. Don't make this worst please," I begged. Margot took her beauty blended and was dabbing foundation on my hickey.

" I'm sorry Lara Jean, it's just the big sister in me talking. Trust me, I've had my fair share of them before," Margot admitted.

" You've had a hickey before?" Lara Jean looked surprise and Margot rolled her eyes at me

" Hey it happens," Margot shrugged and put the finishing touches to the foundation. " Alright I believe you are done," Margot said and looked in the mirror.

I looked at the mirror and put my hand on the now disappeared hickey. " Don't touch it, you'll rub the make-up off." Margot swatted my hand. " You also may need to wear a lower cut shirt so that it doesn't rub on your neck,"

" Thank you so much Margot. I owe you big time!" I hugged her tightly.

" That's what sisters are for," Margot hugged me back " Tell Peter to watch himself next time, " She said half warning.

" Oh trust me I will," I agreed. " I have to get back to my room and get Peter,"

" Wow. He has guts to still be here after this," Margot remarked. " Well lets home that daddy doesn't kill him first,"

" Margot," I begged.

" I'm kidding Lara Jean. I love Peter, but it's also my job to give him a hard time," Margot smiled at me.

" I know," I returned the smile back at her. " I'm going to go get Peter now," I said getting up and headed towards the door.

" One more thing LJ," Margot said " If you are going to have sex with your boyfriend, Can you do it at his apartment instead,"

" Whatever you say Margot," I rolled my eyes and left. She isn't wrong though. There's more privacy at his apartment and we don't have the fear of hiding what we did from our parents. I headed towards my room and saw my dad heading upstairs.

" Dad what are you doing here?" I asked surprised to be facing him so soon.

" I live here?" Dad replied questioningly " What are you doing here?" he asked back in my same tone.

" I live here too?," I gave him his same answer, feeling like myself get hotter from nervousness.

" Oh right," Dad nodded his head " I was going to get you and your sisters. We picked pizza up for dinner,"

" Oh okay great. I'll be down in a minute. Is it okay if Peter joins us for dinner?" I asked.

" LJ you know that he's always welcomed at the dinner table. We half assumed he was going to be here anyways."

" I don't know whether to be pleased or weirded out that you expect that much from him," I gave him a puzzling look.

" This is Peter we are talking about."

" Very true," I agreed

" What time can we be expecting him?"

" He's actually in my room." I admitted and watched my dad's eye grow in horror. " I told him to wait in my room while I talk to Margot," I defended.

The color on Daddy's face slowly came and he let out a sigh of relief " Oh okay, you almost gave me a heart attack Lara Jean,"

" Sorry Daddy," I gave him a sheepish smile.

" I'm just shocked is all. I didn't see his car downstairs,"

" Yeah well I was over at his house earlier," I started, which isn't a total lie, he just wasn't there. " And his family wasn't home so he asked if he could come over," I said trying to sell it. I'm such a bad liar that I wouldn't believe the words that I was speaking.

Daddy gave me a look whether he wanted to believe me or not. " Alright then. Well get him and your sisters downstairs so that we can eat!"

" Yes sir!" I saluted and turned around to go to my room. Peter looked up from his phone as I entered the room.

" Everything good?" He asked looking at my neck

" Margot may kill you, but at least my dad won't," I said showing my neck off to reveal it being spotless.

" That I can deal with," Peter said as he made his way to me.

" Not so fast Kavinsky," I said hold my hand out at him " You aren't going to get away with this that easy."

" Covey," Peter groaned

" You can wait until tonight to touch me again," I winked and walked out the door.

" I'll hold you to that," Peter grinned

" I already told my dad you were here so you are allowed to come out now,"

" I told you he would be okay with it," Peter smirked

" Only because he saw me going out of Margot's room instead of mine,"

" Yeah yeah. Let's go eat. I heard he got pizza," Peter said taking my hand and leading me out the door.

" Margot, Kitty it's time for dinner," I called out as we made our way towards the stairs.

" Coming!" Kitty sang as she busted out of her room " Peter you're still here?" Kitty questioned and looked at me

" Yeah kid, I couldn't leave without hanging out with my favorite girl," Peter winked and put his arm around her.

" Sweet! Come sit beside me and I'll tell you all about the movie we saw," Kitty said dragging him downstairs. I couldn't help but giggle at this. Their relationship with each other always warms my heart every time they are together.

" I thought you were going to change?" Margot asked from behind me.

" I was going to, but I ran into Daddy in the hall. If I had changed then he definitely knew something happened. I barely got by just now,"

" You could have just told him that you were hot, or you were out all day in those clothes,"

Oh. Yeah I never thought of that. This is why I don't lie to people, I'm not quick enough to think of good excuses.

" Yeah.. I could have said that. Well so far he doesn't suspect a thing," I shrugged.

" Good, now just get through the rest of tonight and you should be good," Margot assured me. " Keep your collar off of your neck as much as possible," she said before we both walked down. Daddy, Trina, Kitty, and Peter taking their place at the dinner table. Peter was reaching over to shake Daddy's hand.

" Hey Mr. Covey, Trina " He greeted politely

" We didn't realize you were already here Peter! It's a good thing Dan insisted we get and extra pizza," Trina smiled at him.

" Lara Jean and I were actually going to eat dinner at my house this time, but she wasn't home and I believe Owen went out with his friends so I asked if I can come over instead."

" Well Peter you know you are always welcome at our house," Daddy said to him

" I appreciate that Mr. Covey,"

" Peter you know you're allowed to call me Dan,"

Dinner was going so smoothly. Daddy and Trina had ordered pepperoni pizza supreme pizza with extra marinara sauce. The air felt light as Margot and Trina were engaged in a conversation on what we needed to bring to the beach and Peter and Daddy were listening to Kitty talk about the Star Wars movie that her, Josh and Margot went to see. My leg was shaking under the table out of my nerves.

" Lara Jean have you started packing for the beach?" Trina asked

" I have a few clothing ideas. I want to do laundry first before finalizing everything."

" What about you Peter?"

" That's easy. Whatever In my closet I can find," Peter joked

" That's what I'm talking about," Dan said holding his hand up to give Peter a fist bump.

" Dan!" Trina groaned

" I'm sorry, but it's true. Guys just throw things together and hope that it matches"

" Hate to say it Trina but it's true," Peter agreed.

" Whatever you boys say," She rolled her eyes at them. Daddy leaned towards her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

" Oh so Carrie called me and told me that Haven is bringing her new boyfriend on vacation,"

"What?!" Peter and I both said at the same time. The whole table looked and us quizzingly before Daddy asked " Is that a problem?"

" They haven't even gone out for that long!"

" Carrie told me that they've been dating for a good bit. She actually couldn't stop talking about how great of a guy he is."

" Dad… Did Aunt Carrie tell you who she's dating?" I groaned pushing my plate out of the way. Suddenly I lost my appetite.

" No, do you guys know who she's dating?" He quizzed me and Peter.

Peter gave me a look urging me to tell them.

" He's dating that John Ambrose guy. The one that took Lara Jean to that dance," Kitty interrupted.

" Kitty!"

" I'm sorry, but you guys were taking too long to tell him and making more a big deal about this than it needs to be," Kitty rolled her eyes

It took Daddy a minute to register who we were talking about " OH!" Poor guy, sometimes he can be so dense.

" Peter and John Ambrose aren't really each other's favorite person anymore," I admitted to him.

" I told her it was okay, but I can take it back," Daddy said feeling a little guilty

" It's fine Dan. I can be cordial with McClaren for a week," Peter sucked up.

" Are you sure Peter, even if that means sharing a room?"

" A week won't kill me," Peter agreed.

" Alright, if you say so." Daddy said. That was the last of that topic.

The rest of dinner seemed to be going smoothly if you were looking at it from everyone else's point of view. Daddy change the subject to Washington Redskins football with Peter and the girls were planning one last grocery and shopping trip before the beach, but I could tell that Peter was still a little bothered about going on vacation with John Ambrose. After dinner everyone was feeling something sweet to cleanse their pallet so they begged me to bake my sin brownies. I happily oblige since I love baking anyways. Margot and Kitty were clearing off the table while Peter was sitting on the kitchen island watching while I get in the zone of baking.

" It amazes me how at peace you look while baking even though you look like the Pillsbury doughboy," He'll never let that joke die.

" Excuse me Peter, I'm in my element," I say swatting his hand as he tried to dip his finger in the batter to taste.

" Yes boss!" Peter said backing away. " So we get to spend a whole week with McClaren. How fun." Peter said sarcastically.

" I had a feeling you were still bothered by that" I noted as I was pouring the batter into a baking sheet. " I could tell during dinner,"

" Don't you think it's weird?" Peter asked

" Oh of course I think it's weird, but I can't just tell them not to bring him."

" I get it, I do. But why does she have to invite him? Isn't it a little soon to be vacationing with someone you just started dating."

" Well Haven is a little feisty. She knows how to get her way with her parents," I said in annoyance. That's one thing I envied, but also didn't really like about my cousin.

" It'll be fine Covey. I'll make sure that it'll be the best beach trip," Peter assured me and squeezed my hand.

" Thank you Peter," I said and leaned in to kiss to him.

The rest of the night was spent watching tv and gorging on the freshly baked sin brownies. Daddy and Trina went to bed after they had their fair share of brownies leaving the T.V for the rest of us. Kitty was sitting on the couch texting. Margot had gone back into her room, probably working on her resume again, Peter and I were browsing Disney plus to see what we could put on. Peter wanted to put on the Mandalorian while I wanted to put on High School Musical Three.

" Covey we've already watched the first two. Can't we take a break from it?" Peter groaned.

" Peter if we watched the Mandalorian than you know for sure that I'll fall asleep,"

" I want to watch the Mandalorian," Kitty chimed, still not looking away from her phone.

" Kitty you are on your phone, are you even going to pay attention? " I rolled my eyes at her

" I have ears. I can hear what's going on."

" That's not the same."

" For you maybe, but I'm perfectly okay with it." Kitty retorted.

" That's two to one Covey. The Mandalorian it is," Peter said taking the remote from my hand.

" Fine, but let me at least get ready for bed first, since you practically want to put me to sleep." I said getting up to go upstairs.

" Haha" Peter said sarcastically " Hurry up or else we are going to start it without you,"

I rolled my eyes and headed straight for my room. I headed over to my dresser and took out the night gown I wore last night. I'm so relieved that I was able to go through the night without revealing my little bruise to Daddy and Trina. It wouldn't have been a pretty sight if there were to see it. I headed towards to bathroom, but stopped in front of my parents room to see if Daddy was asleep first. His distinct snoring was my indicator to finally take this foundation off of my neck. It felt as if it was seeping through my pores, trying to get inside of my skin.

" So Peter told me about what happened earlier," Kitty said popping her head in the bathroom. I looked at her and forget that she's not the nine year old kid that Margot and I still see her as.

" How did you get Peter to tell you?!" I asked in shock. " Trust me you aren't the only one that can get Peter to babble anything. I could tell you both were acting pretty strange at dinner,"

" It scares me that you observe all of this, but please don't tell anyone," I begged her " Especially not Daddy,"

" Lara Jean I would never," Kitty assured me. " I just wished I was there in to room trying to see you cover it up," Kitty smirked.

" It's not funny Kitty. Just wait until you get your first one and beg me to help you cover it up. Actually, scratch that, I hope you never have to deal with this." I shouldn't be egging my sister on to get one.

" Oh don't worry, I'm too smart for that" Kitty gave me her award winning Kitty smile. " Now hurry up for real or else we really will start the movie without you," Kitty turned on her heel and went back downstairs. Oh when did Kitty get so grown up? I quickly. "" And please step back from my love life, especially the physical aspect of it." I called out to her.

" We'll see about that," She called back in a mocking tone. I love Kitty so much but I swear she can still be a brat sometimes.

I looked in the mirror and grabbed a make-up wipe. There's no point in hiding it from my sisters now. As weird as it is for Kitty knowing about my hickey, it's kind of comforting that I can talk to her about these things now. Maybe it isn't so bad that she's getting old enough to understand these things. I quickly change into my nightgown and took my make up off. When I headed back downstairs Peter and Kitty had already started playing the show.

" You took too long so Kitty took the remote and played it," Peter said with a guilty look on his face.

" Yeah, yeah. Thanks a lot for telling my sister by the way," I said plopping back on the couch beside him, pretending to be annoyed by him.

" I'm sorry Covey, She just got it out of me," Peter admitted.

" Wow you really did a number on her Peter," Kitty said looking at my neck

" Kitty go back to watching the show please,"

Thankfully Kitty dropped the topic and went back to watching, well texting and watching. I grabbed the throw blanket from under the coffee table and placed it over me and Peter as we continued to watch the show. It actually wasn't all too bad. Maybe because the baby Yoda character really had my attention. We watched a few more episodes before Peter decided to call it a night.

" I should probably get back home Covey. I have an early morning workout with the team tomorrow."

" Alright I'll go get my keys,"

" It's okay Covey Adam is actually outside to pick me up. I figured you would be too sleepy to drive me to my apartment," He isn't wrong though. That's a thirty minute drive there and back.

" That was oddly nice of Adam to come do that for you." Adam plays on the UVA lacrosse team with Peter. I've met him a few times, he seems nice.

"He kind of owes me a big favor for not ratting him out to coach for getting drunk at a party the night before a game." I remember that game. They almost lost to Notre Dame because Adam was hungover at the game. Their coach has a strict rule of no partying during the season. In the off-season they were allowed to do whatever they wanted as long as they stayed in shape.

" Ahh gotcha" I said getting off the couch to walk him to the door. " I'm surprised you didn't ask Gabe since he dropped you off here,"

" I'm giving Gabe the rest of the night off. He's probably had enough of us for one day"

" That is true. I'll walk you out then." I said getting up.

" I'll see you later kid" Peter said ruffling Kitty's hair as he walked past her.

" See you Peter" She said swatting his hand off her hair with one hand while typing on her phone with the other one. Peter chuckled and walked me with to the door, with his arm around my waist. I got the door for him and walked out with him, there is no way I want to be kissing my boyfriend around Kitty any time soon.

" Thank you for today Peter," I said genuinely

" For which part?" Peter smirked

" For all of it. Thank you for being able to talk things out with me and for acting really maturely about going on vacation with the last person you and I would want to see right now,"

" It's my pleasure Covey," Peter smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. " Thank you for forgiving me for being such an ass,"

" Of course, " I smiled I was going to lean in for another kiss when a car horn was blaring in front of my house

" Kavinksy let's go!" Adam called out

" Alright I'm coming!" Peter yelled back to him " I better go now. I'll call you after workouts tomorrow. Love you Covey," Peter said kissing me swiftly and headed towards Adams car.

" Love you too !" I called out to him and waved him off. I waited until Peter and Adam drove off before going inside. Kitty had gone upstairs already, but kept the TV on. I took the remote from the couch and turned it off. I made sure the living room was tidy before heading towards my bedroom. Today had felt like a long day. The beginning of the day felt like it just happened two days ago. Although I was getting sleepy, I felt the urge to write. Usually when I have these urges I have to poor my whole soul into the letter or else I would implode. I walked over to my desk and grabbed my favorite stationary and started:

Dear Peter,

This has been a whirlwind of a week. I don't even know where to begin. All I know is that I don't really want to have any kinds of crazy dreams of anyone any time soon is for sure. I haven't really felt this out of sorts in a while, and we are both to blame for that. But it's tests like this that makes us stronger as a couple. When you were upset at me, all I cared about was making sure you didn't hate me. I know that you'll always feel a type of way about John Ambrose, I'll always feel that way every time that Gen is mentioned for sure. It doesn't help that we'll be spending a week with him and Haven at the beach. Trust me, they are the last people I want to be seeing on vacation. But I'll make sure this vacation is worth-while. Besides it'll prove to you that we can be around John Ambrose without you thinking I'm going to be leaving you any second. Just kidding, but really though, you know that you're the guy that I love. By the way we also got away with that little stunt that you pulled thankfully, but next time you better watch out Kavinsky!

Love Always,

Your Covey

I prepared the letter in an envelope and put it in my hatbox. When a heard a knock on the door. " Come in," I called out.

" Hey LJ, " It was Margot's voice.

" Yeah?" I asked

Margot walked up to my desk and placed her liquid foundation in front of me " I know how you feel about heavy foundation, but you may need this. At least until the bruising goes away,"

I looked at the foundation and looked at her " What would I do without you ?" I asked thankfully.

" Like I said earlier. That's what big sisters are for,"

 _Y'all omg I'm so rusty at this. I'm going to try to update as much as I can. This story is my baby and I don't want to see it come to an end just yet. This maybe a shorter chapter than what I'm used to, but I promise that this story is far from over! What do you guys think about LJ and PK going on vacation with John Ambrose? Things should get pretty interesting! Please bear with me and send me some love_ _!_


	11. Chapter 10 sneak peak!

_OMMMGGGG WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK OF THE MOVIE?! I loved it in a way but had some things I didn't like about it? Lemme know what you think! It warms my heart to see my regulars review my stories again. I'm so sorry again for being MIA. School is hard as heck but I made it through my first semester. I've also been rereading the series. I felt like my last chapter felt so out of character for certain people, but then again this is them in college now. People do most of their growing and maturing in high school. I wanted the same LJ, but with more of a twist. Lemme know what you guys think of my writing please! I can always improve. Now the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived! I wonder what LJ will do ;)._

Beach Week Pt. 1:

Beach week is finally here at last. The week that we've all been looking forward to (until Daddy told us that Haven was going to bring John Ambrose McClaren). Dad and Aunt Carrie made plans for us to drive down to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. We usually go to Virginia Beach, but last time we went, we had to cut the vacation short because there wasn't anything to do there to entertain us for a whole week. Daddy and Peter are outside packing the van with our stuff. Margot has been running around the house with her checklist, making sure that everything was turned off. Kitty was playing with Jamie Foxx-Pickle and Simone before we have drop them off to day care. I was placing the last of the chocolate chip cookies in the Tupperware when Daddy yelled from outside for us to get going.

The seating arrangement works in our favor: Trina and Daddy are up front, Margot and Kitty are in the middle row, and me and Peter have the back row to ourselves. As we were loading ourselves into the car Peter was eying my ringless hand.

" Covey where is your ring?" Peter asked curiously

" Around my neck," I said, getting holding my neckless out with the ring on it.

" Why aren't you wearing it on your finger?"

" I'm afraid it will get lost at the beach,"

" Are you sure it doesn't have to do with not wanting to wear it around your relatives?"

" Possibly," I admitted taking my seat in the back row.

" It's a promise ring for Christ's sake!," Peter groaned while taking his place beside me.

" Peter you don't understand Asian families. They will think it's so much more,"

" She's not wrong," Margot butted in. " If Aunt Carrie sees that ring, she'll assume you guys are already planning a wedding in secret,"

" That's a little extreme don't you think?"

" You heard how my family reacted to it," I whispered to him, as to not trigger anyone.

" I guess so," Peter rolled his eyes, but thankfully dropped the subject.

We dropped Simone and Jamie-Foxx Pickle off at the vet that also offers lodging services for vacation. They really like it there, and the employees love them as well. The drive didn't feel too long for me at least. Daddy and Trina were talking about Trina's new coworker up front, Margot was listening to her phone, Kitty was texting as per usual, and Peter was asleep on my shoulder while I was reading The Forbidden Kiss again.

" Haven't you already read this book like twenty times?" Peter asked me, I looked over at him and only one of his eyes was open.

" I love rereading old books, besides I haven't been able to go to McCalls in a while to get a new book," I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

" She just loves to reread the love scenes," Kitty snickered

" I do not!"

" Do too!"

I threw a pillow at Kitty and she growls at me. Peter laughs and takes the book away from me. " Let me see what the appeal of this book is anyways"

" Give me my book back!"

Peter put my book up to his face and was skimming the page I was on. His eyes grew wide as he was reading " So this is what you like to read?" He smirks at me, I'm afraid this will give him ideas for the next time we are alone together.

" I told you!" Kitty squeaked

" Give me!" I hissed at him and grabbed the book from his hands.

" Lara Jean Covey, I'm kind of impressed right now," Peter grinned at me. Does this boy ever not think about sex?

" You should see her other book," Kitty butted in " It's in her bag if you want to get it."

" Peter don't you dare," I gave him a warning look.

" Shh. Don't disturb daddy while he's driving," Margot turned her head at us and gave us a warning look.

" Yes Ma'am," all three of us said. That was the last of our car argument.

When we got there, Haven, John Ambrose, and her family are already there. Aunt Carrie came out to greet us and hand Daddy and Trina their keys. The neighborhood is a nice, private neighborhood full of really big (and probably expensive) beach houses. I couldn't help but stare in awe at one of the houses. It has a patio on the roof. I bet someone with a lot of riches lives in it.

" How was the drive guys?" Aunt Carrie greeted us as she approached us.

" It was good Carrie, the traffic is crazy around here," Trina responded while stretching. Trina really doesn't like sitting still for a long time so she tries to stretch out as much as she can when she does.

" It was pretty crazy for us, which is why Victor wanted to leave earlier,"

Daddy and Peter were unloading the car with our stuff in it while me, Margot, and Kitty were unloading the car. " So I heard that Haven brought her new boyfriend," Kitty asked curiously. Where is this girl going with this?

" She told us that she wasn't going to come unless he was allowed to," Aunt Carrie rolled her eyes and gave a small smile that didn't really reach her eyes. " The good news is that he's a lot better than her last boyfriend. Victor just doesn't know how to say no to her,"

" I know how you feel," Trina agreed. Margot pulled that same thing with Daddy and Trina when she first started dating Ravi. At the time Trina was just Daddy's girlfriend so it wasn't like she could do anything.

" How did you do it?" Carrie asked. Margot stiffened up a little bit. She didn't like the newfound attention that she was getting just now

" I'm going to go unpack in our room," Margot said, trying to leave the conversation

" I just let Dan deal with it since I was just the girlfriend at the time, but since Haven is older now you can't really tell her what not to do anymore," Trina replied

" I guess you are right." Carried said " Let me go get Carrie so she could introduce you to her boyfriend,"

" No it's okay Aunt Carrie. You don't have to go through the trouble," I was very hesitant at the moment.

" It's okay Lara Jean. They should have greeted you guys as soon as you got here- Carrie come outside to introduce your boyfriend to Lara Jean,"

" This should be fun," Kitty smirked at me. I wanted to mouth 'I hate you' to her, but I couldn't do it in front of the adults. " Peter why don't you come here to meet Haven's boyfriend" Kitty called out to him.

" In a bit, let me put all this stuff in the house first," Peter called back out to us.

Haven and John Ambrose appeared from the back of the house holding hands as they approached us. " Mom I already told you that John already knows Lara Jean and Peter," Haven rolled her eyes.

" Really?," Aunt Carrie looked at both me and John Ambrose.

" Yeah they were middle school classmates," Haven groaned and looked at me " Hey cuz,"

I bit my lip and smiled back as much as I could " Hey Haven, John," I said looking at both of them and then looking at their hands.

" Why don't we let them get reacquainted Carrie," Thank you Trina for saving the day.

" Oh okay, Well the weather seems really nice today so why don't you guys join the twins at the beach before dinner,"

" We will mom,"

Trina and Aunt Carrie made their way towards the house to help Dad and Uncle Victor get settled down in the house. As they were heading towards the door, Peter was heading towards us.

" Hey Haven, McClaren," Peter said to both of the while putting his arm around me.

" Ahem hello," Kitty said, annoyed that she was left out.

" John Ambrose you remember my little sister right?"

" Yeah I do. How are you Kitty," John asked with a friendly smile.

" I'm good," Kitty responded in an indifferent tone. " I think I'm going to get ready for the beach now," Kitty said and skipped towards the house. The atmosphere shifted drastically after Kitty left. This was the first time I'm seeing Haven and John Ambrose as a couple so I'm not exactly sure how to act.

" So you guys are already vacationing together I see," I said rocking back and forth on my ankles under Peter's arm.

" Yeah, well we were originally going to go to Charleston for a concert, but mom insisted that we go on this vacation first,"

" Ahh okay,"

Peter and John Ambrose were pretty quiet as well. I'm not too sure if it's because they didn't want to talk, or because they didn't want to trigger me.

"So I see things are pretty serious since Peter is here," Haven changed the subject

" Peter's always been invited to our vacations." I replied back to her getting a little annoyed.

" Oh I didn't know," Haven turned to Peter and smiled " Well welcome to your first Song vacation. You'll love it,"

" I'm looking forward to it. Lara Jean why don't we go join Kitty at the beach," Peter said squeezing my shoulder.

" Alright then." I looked over to John Ambrose and mimicked the smile Haven gave Peter. " You guys want to join us?"

" Yeah of course!" John Ambrose said smiling back.

" John," Haven said tugging on the hand that she was holding. I cringed a little bit at that. I'm not sure how I feel about people just calling him John. " Remember we have to the store for something." Haven gave him a little side eye.

" Oh yeah! We have to go to the store real quick, but we'll meet you guys on the beach when we get back" John Ambrose has always been so friendly. I'm so glad he can still be friendly even though things are still weird between us.

" We'll see you there then," I smiled back. Haven tugged on John's arm again and head towards their car. When they were gone, Peter gave a huge sigh of relief.

" You could cut the tension between you guys like a knife,"

" Well this is my first time seeing them together, so yes it was going to be a bit awkward," I groaned.

" How do you feel?" Peter asked rubbing my shoulder

" A little overwhelmed,"

" let go to the beach and try to forget about it for a while," Peter placed a light kiss on the top of my head.

" Sounds like a plan"

We are staying at The Flamingo House; It's pink on the outside and has flamingos hanging around everywhere. Besides all the flamingos everywhere, it really was a great house. The house contained of 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a sun room and a kitchen and living room. The sleeping arrangements was two people to a room: The two married couples, Margot and Kitty, the twins, John Ambrose and Peter, and lastly Haven and me. Haven insisted that we share a room since we are the closest in age – I was half expecting her to want to share a room with Margot since she looked up to her so much. Peter kept begging me and Kitty to unpack quickly because he wanted to teach us how to skimboard. We invited Margot to come with us as well, but she said she wanted to get a run in before going to swim. Ew running.

" So first you slide the board and wait for it to sail away first and then with a little bit of a running start you jump on it like so," Peter said as he demonstrated it to us. He let his board sail away for a little bit and then jumped on it with ease. I look at him with eyes of horror. I can only imagine myself on it. I'll most likely miss the board when I jump, or slip off the board with my lack of balance.

" Yeah I don't think I can do that Peter," I said trying to turn away from the water.

" Of course you can Covey," Peter said grabbing my arm before I could think about running away.

" I want to try first! " Kitty volunteered.

" Be my guest kid!"

" Stop calling me that! I'm not a kid anymore." Kitty groaned. She says that, but she secretly loves the nickname Peter gave her.

It took Kitty a few tries to get it right, but she caught on so quickly. As for me, I tried until I fell in the water on my butt. Kitty couldn't help but burst into a fit of giggles at this. I scowled at her in response.

" Are you okay Covey?" Peter asked trying to help me get up. I could tell in his eyes that he wanted to laugh as well, but he's afraid of what will happen if he does.

" I'm fine," I groaned and try to get as much of the wet sand off of me as possible. " I think that's enough for me in one day,"

" Come on, Lara Jean! You can't let one fall prevent you from trying some more,"

" I'll try again tomorrow. I just really want to read my book," I pouted

" Oh yeah?" Peter smirked.

" Oh hush, I'm already past that part,"

" Alright then," Peter held his hands up in defeat. " I'll let you go back to your book,"

" Thank you," I sang and ran back to my beach chair in triumph.

We spent majority of the afternoon on the beach. Aunt Carrie made sure we all reapply sunblock every few hours just so we don't get sunburnt. I look up from my book and watch Peter in admiration as he tries to teach the twins how to skimboard. Peter catches me looking at him and winks. Sometimes I think about how did I get so lucky to ever end up with someone as handsome as Peter. Even after three years (four if you include the fake relationship) of dating it still stuns me at how handsome he is. But I've always thought that even before we were dating or even fake dating.

" Hey" I hear Haven as her and John Ambrose McClaren approach me. They took the beach chairs beside me, ruining my reading time.

" Hey" I ask trying not to look at their direction, pretending to read the book that I have propped open in my lap.

" Why aren't you swimming Lara Jean?" John Ambrose asked

" I will in a bit, I just really want to finish this chapter first," I'm reading the same line over and over again.

" You've read that book so many times LJ. You already know what's going to happen." I can feel Haven's eyes rolling beside me.

" I can still like reading certain books over again," I said in a cool, monotone voice.

Out of nowhere the football was thrown in our direction; and out of habit I ducked even though it wasn't aimed towards me.

" McClaren can you throw?" Peter asked, sounding more like a challenge than an invitation . He was done teaching the twins to skim board, now they've roped him into throwing a foam football with them.

" Yeah." John Ambrose said throwing a spiral back at Peter.

" Come join us!" The Leon, one of the twins, yelled.

" Go ahead and join them. You can bond with my brothers," Haven urged.

" Alright"

John Ambrose McClaren got up and held his hands up for Harry, the other twin, to throw the ball at him. I looked over at Peter and gave him a small smile. I'm glad that he's not making this vacation weird. I tried to look over to what Haven was doing beside me without trying to be obvious. Haven was sprawled out on her beach chair, soaking in as much sun as her fair skin can handle.

" Don't you just love the beach Lara Jean?" Haven asked me.

" Yeah, It's nice and relaxing here," I put my book down, no point in trying to read when she keeps trying to talk to me.

" It doesn't hurt that we get to check out our boyfriends while relax in the sun huh?"

" Yeah I guess," I never really thought I was checking Peter out every time I looked at him. He's always looked like his buff self, six-pack and all. " I wouldn't really put it that way," I added. My eyes roam over to John Ambrose McClaren. The last time I saw him without clothes on was during that sex dream I had, granted it was on top of Peter's body. I couldn't help but go a little pink at it.

" Lara Jean Covey, you're checking out my boyfriend," Haven lowered her sunglasses down a bit and gave me a look.

" No I'm not!"

" I can't say I blame you, he is pretty hot if I say so myself," Haven says proudly.

I looked at the boys again, like really looked. John Ambrose was thin, but not scrawny. I could tell by his arms that he's been working out since the last time I saw him. " He is handsome alright, but he's no Peter," I say truthfully.

" You aren't wrong there. Peter is really hot," She agreed with me. " You must have felt pretty lucky to have both boys fighting over you at one point.

"I wouldn't really call it luck." I disagreed. Some people may think I was lucky to have more than one guy want me, but in all honestly it sucked. It was too hard being in love with Peter and John Ambrose at the same time, and it nearly killed all of us. So no, I don't consider that lucky. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through what we all went through.

" So what really went down between you two?" Haven asked curiously. " I remember you telling me about John briefly and that you had a date or so, but by the way he acted when I he found out I was your cousin, it seemed like there was more to it,"

" I've told you before, we hung out, went on a date or two, and kissed," I said not really comfortable with this subject.

" Lara Jean, I'm your cousin. You can tell me what went down between you two,"

" Haven I don't think that's a good idea-." I started until I noticed the boys making their way back to us.

" What's not a good idea?" Peter asked as he took a seat at the edge of my beach chair.

"Oh nothing, just girl stuff," I gave Peter a reassuring, I'll tell you later smile.

" Come on let's go in the water," John Ambrose said to Haven while taking her hand to get up

" Okay!" Haven giggled and got up, while John Ambrose wasn't looking she turned around and mouthed " We'll continue this later," and I'm sure she won't let me forget it too.

" Alright break time is over Covey," Peter said as he took me on his shoulder. " Time for your second skim boarding lesson," He said running while I screamed and giggled for him to put me down.

That night for dinner Aunt Carrie made bo ssam for all of us and chicken breast for Trina (since Korean food makes her stomach upset). Unlike Daddy, Aunt Carrie makes amazing Korean food. We had the whole spread with a variety of sides. Across the table Haven was teaching John Ambrose how to eat the bo ssam by wrapping the meat and rice in lettuce. It's so weird seeing them as a couple. They do things together that I could never imagine John Ambrose doing before. Earlier while dinner was being cooked Haven was even teach John Ambrose how to play the guitar. I never thought he was into stuff like that!

" Can you pass the kimchi?" Peter asked me

" Yeah of course," I said shaking my head a bit, trying to get rid of my train of thought

" What are you thinking of? " Peter asked me in a hushed voice

" Nothing, just a little zoned out from earlier," I whispered back at him

" Uh-huh," Peter was always good at calling my bluff ever since our last fight " We'll talk later,"

" Alright everyone!" Daddy started once dinner was over " I don't care how late you stay up, but tomorrow we have to leave here by eleven in the morning. We are going to Pawley's island to go jet skiing, parasailing and on the banana boats,"

" Sweet! We can race McClaren," Peter grin his mischievous grin.

" You're on Kavinsky," John Ambrose accepted his challenge.

" Count me in on that race!" Haven chimed and looked over at me

" Oh no no, you are not getting me on one of those things by myself," I shook my head

" Come on Lara Jean! It can be girls against boys," Haven begged

" Nope," I shake my head " Not going to happen,"

" it's okay Covey, you can always ride with me," Peter winked.

There was a light knocking on the door when I woke up the next morning. I grabbed my phone to look at the time. Who the heck is waking me up this early? I grabbed my robe and headed towards the door. _Knock Knock Knock. "_ Lara Jean," Peter whispered as if he knew I was on the other side of the door. I opened the door quietly, trying not to wake Haven up to Peter already dressed up in swim trunks and a tank top, holding up two mugs in his hand.

" Why are you up so early?!" I whispered annoyed at him, but willingly took the mug that he was giving to me.

" I wanted to see if you wanted to watch the sunrise with me? Peter grinned his Peter grin.

" I would love to," I said smiling, forgetting that I was annoyed with him for waking me up in the first place.

I walked back into the room and changed into shorts, my favorite bralette, a halter-top with pink and white chevron pattern on it, and my flip-flops all without waking Haven up. Thank goodness she's a heavy sleeper. Peter took my hand and lead me towards the beach. There's something about the beach and sunrises that is just so romantic to me.

" At first I wasn't sure what to think, but Haven and McClaren actually make a really good couple," Peter admitted

" They what?" I asked in shock

" You heard me. I mean it helps me that he's not going after you anymore, but they just fit together."

" I guess" I shrugged.

" Sharing a room with McClaren, you get to talking; By the way he talks about her, I can tell he really likes her,"

" Oh… I wasn't really expecting that I guess,"

My infamous sneak peaks! I really hope this sustains you guys until I finish the Chapter. I hope to work on it more by next weekend. It's been kinda crazy with school right now, But thank you so much for still reviewing and putting up with the late updates. I love you guys and please let me know what you think!


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